Chelle
@metallicunt.bsky.social
🇨🇦 Enjoys long, romantic moonlit walks off short piers. Horror, books, birds. My gorgeous man. My beautiful friends. Good mourning.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaeihsk3xh6
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaeihsk3xh6
Pinned
Chelle
@metallicunt.bsky.social
· Feb 21
A blithering of idiots, if you will.
Reposted by Chelle
Dumbass can't even die correctly
January 21, 2026 at 5:18 AM
Dumbass can't even die correctly
Reposted by Chelle
I'm sure Canadian soldiers running exercises to prepare for a potential American invasion is just due diligence and I don't have a lot of confidence that anyything's going to happen, but I assure you, if the United States does go to war with Canada, I will live skeet jokes through the entire thing.
January 21, 2026 at 5:12 AM
I'm sure Canadian soldiers running exercises to prepare for a potential American invasion is just due diligence and I don't have a lot of confidence that anyything's going to happen, but I assure you, if the United States does go to war with Canada, I will live skeet jokes through the entire thing.
Reposted by Chelle
Look, it's simple. We just want the worst person in the world to die
January 21, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Look, it's simple. We just want the worst person in the world to die
Reposted by Chelle
when it happens can we have a break from presidents? we as a nation just need to sit down for a bit
January 21, 2026 at 5:35 AM
when it happens can we have a break from presidents? we as a nation just need to sit down for a bit
Reposted by Chelle
"A modern Caligula" is very on the nose.
Rambling Trump runs through his achievements as worried world watches on
Rambling Trump runs through his achievements as worried world watches on
The ‘very stable genius’ zigzagged wildly in a packed press room – Nato’s future lies in the hands of a modern Caligula
www.theguardian.com
January 21, 2026 at 5:51 AM
"A modern Caligula" is very on the nose.
Reposted by Chelle
If only it would've crashed and sunk over the Atlantic.
January 21, 2026 at 5:51 AM
If only it would've crashed and sunk over the Atlantic.
Reposted by Chelle
Reposted by Chelle
guess what else is a “minor electrical issue”
January 21, 2026 at 6:26 AM
guess what else is a “minor electrical issue”
Reposted by Chelle
Reposted by Chelle
I don't know if she's talking to angels or not, but she's definitely talking to someone who isn't there.
January 21, 2026 at 6:46 AM
I don't know if she's talking to angels or not, but she's definitely talking to someone who isn't there.
Reposted by Chelle
We have now entered the 8th month of January, only 4 more years to go.
January 21, 2026 at 8:44 AM
We have now entered the 8th month of January, only 4 more years to go.
Reposted by Chelle
This day in history. 1959. Crime-fighting forensic pathologist Frances Gertrude McGill, the Sherlock Holmes of Saskatchewan, died when her evil nemesis curling instructor Gordie Moriarty slipped a little-known asiatic poison into her hot cocoa.
January 21, 2026 at 9:24 AM
This day in history. 1959. Crime-fighting forensic pathologist Frances Gertrude McGill, the Sherlock Holmes of Saskatchewan, died when her evil nemesis curling instructor Gordie Moriarty slipped a little-known asiatic poison into her hot cocoa.
Reposted by Chelle
you can’t hurt me. you’re not the heartburn i’m gonna get from eating half a family size stouffer’s lasagna for breakfast
January 21, 2026 at 12:25 PM
you can’t hurt me. you’re not the heartburn i’m gonna get from eating half a family size stouffer’s lasagna for breakfast
Reposted by Chelle
You wouldn't like me, I hate that Evanescence song.
January 21, 2026 at 12:43 PM
You wouldn't like me, I hate that Evanescence song.
Reposted by Chelle
is it once, it’s once isn’t it
January 21, 2026 at 12:46 PM
is it once, it’s once isn’t it
Reposted by Chelle
Him: "Your sex is on fire"
Her Physician: you have chlamydia
Her Physician: you have chlamydia
January 21, 2026 at 1:17 PM
Him: "Your sex is on fire"
Her Physician: you have chlamydia
Her Physician: you have chlamydia
Reposted by Chelle
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
January 21, 2026 at 1:19 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Reposted by Chelle
If babies are so cool how does a 2 foot gate shut down their whole operation? Checkmate, idiots.
January 21, 2026 at 1:29 PM
If babies are so cool how does a 2 foot gate shut down their whole operation? Checkmate, idiots.
Reposted by Chelle
That bus won't leave my driveway.
January 21, 2026 at 1:30 PM
That bus won't leave my driveway.
Reposted by Chelle
I don’t care what anyone says, revenge is even better if you microwave it for thirty seconds.
January 21, 2026 at 1:41 PM
I don’t care what anyone says, revenge is even better if you microwave it for thirty seconds.
Reposted by Chelle
had to use milk instead of half and half in my coffee this morning and I really don’t how much more of this I can take
January 21, 2026 at 1:54 PM
had to use milk instead of half and half in my coffee this morning and I really don’t how much more of this I can take
Reposted by Chelle
Me: “One time I farted so bad it emptied out an entire train car”
Interviewer: “I see. And what are you the least proud of?”
Interviewer: “I see. And what are you the least proud of?”
January 21, 2026 at 1:57 PM
Me: “One time I farted so bad it emptied out an entire train car”
Interviewer: “I see. And what are you the least proud of?”
Interviewer: “I see. And what are you the least proud of?”
Reposted by Chelle
[Karate club]
instructor: always expect the unexpected
me: but if I expect the unexpected, it won’t be unexpected when it happens
instructor: *stabs me*
me: hmm, I wasn’t expecting that
instructor: always expect the unexpected
me: but if I expect the unexpected, it won’t be unexpected when it happens
instructor: *stabs me*
me: hmm, I wasn’t expecting that
January 21, 2026 at 2:07 PM
[Karate club]
instructor: always expect the unexpected
me: but if I expect the unexpected, it won’t be unexpected when it happens
instructor: *stabs me*
me: hmm, I wasn’t expecting that
instructor: always expect the unexpected
me: but if I expect the unexpected, it won’t be unexpected when it happens
instructor: *stabs me*
me: hmm, I wasn’t expecting that
Reposted by Chelle
Last summer, I bought one of those "Live, Laugh, Love" signs at a garage sale.
The woman selling it looked me dead in the eye and said, "It didn't work."
The woman selling it looked me dead in the eye and said, "It didn't work."
January 21, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Last summer, I bought one of those "Live, Laugh, Love" signs at a garage sale.
The woman selling it looked me dead in the eye and said, "It didn't work."
The woman selling it looked me dead in the eye and said, "It didn't work."
Reposted by Chelle
Nothing prepares you for the quiet scorn of a cat. You could rescue it from a tree, and it’ll look at you like, "I was minutes away from learning to fly!
January 21, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Nothing prepares you for the quiet scorn of a cat. You could rescue it from a tree, and it’ll look at you like, "I was minutes away from learning to fly!