Chelle
@metallicunt.bsky.social
🇨🇦 Enjoys long, romantic moonlit walks off short piers. Horror, books, birds. My gorgeous man. My beautiful friends. Good mourning.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaeihsk3xh6
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaeihsk3xh6
Pinned
Chelle
@metallicunt.bsky.social
· Feb 21
A blithering of idiots, if you will.
Reposted by Chelle
your mom said she wants to be double stuffed for the holidays and im pretty sure she’s not talking about turkey
November 22, 2025 at 12:52 PM
your mom said she wants to be double stuffed for the holidays and im pretty sure she’s not talking about turkey
Reposted by Chelle
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
if i was a squirrel my catchphrase would be “pack up your nuts, boys, and get back in the trees cuz mama’s here now”
Reposted by Chelle
Just once could someone make wine from my tears
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Just once could someone make wine from my tears
Reposted by Chelle
I’ve been through the desert with a whore with some pain, it felt good to go a little insane
November 22, 2025 at 1:03 PM
I’ve been through the desert with a whore with some pain, it felt good to go a little insane
Reposted by Chelle
The lower the temperature, the longer it takes the dog to poop.
It’s science.
It’s science.
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 PM
The lower the temperature, the longer it takes the dog to poop.
It’s science.
It’s science.
Reposted by Chelle
Stage 5 clinger, but it’s just this perimenopausal chin hair that won’t let go
November 22, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Stage 5 clinger, but it’s just this perimenopausal chin hair that won’t let go
Reposted by Chelle
Reposted by Chelle
I hope if anything radioactive ever bites me it happens when I'm wearing this outfit (pale blue underpants and a green tank top)
November 22, 2025 at 2:00 PM
I hope if anything radioactive ever bites me it happens when I'm wearing this outfit (pale blue underpants and a green tank top)
For all intensive purposes, the proof is on the pudding.
November 22, 2025 at 2:43 PM
For all intensive purposes, the proof is on the pudding.
Reposted by Chelle
You know how sometimes if you're mixing, say, pancake batter, and it's wet and gloopy, but there will be chunks in it that if you touch them they break apart and they're dusty inside? Anyway, that's my thoughts RFK's jizz, since someone let that genie out of the bottle
November 22, 2025 at 2:18 PM
You know how sometimes if you're mixing, say, pancake batter, and it's wet and gloopy, but there will be chunks in it that if you touch them they break apart and they're dusty inside? Anyway, that's my thoughts RFK's jizz, since someone let that genie out of the bottle
Reposted by Chelle
"Get in!"
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
November 22, 2025 at 2:36 PM
"Get in!"
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
Reposted by Chelle
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
November 21, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
Reposted by Chelle
handing out discounted cans of Whoop Ass everyday leading up to the holidays. come and get some for your whole family
November 21, 2025 at 5:27 PM
handing out discounted cans of Whoop Ass everyday leading up to the holidays. come and get some for your whole family
Reposted by Chelle
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
November 21, 2025 at 5:28 PM
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
Reposted by Chelle
imagine sex with me, nope. more muppets
November 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
imagine sex with me, nope. more muppets
Reposted by Chelle
Some sunshine would be nice
November 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Some sunshine would be nice
Reposted by Chelle
I had too much coffee and now I need to barf.
-a memoir
-a memoir
November 21, 2025 at 5:43 PM
I had too much coffee and now I need to barf.
-a memoir
-a memoir
Reposted by Chelle
me: i have to tell you something but keep it on the down low. you need deodorant. here. take this.
bff: ok. your secret™️ is safe with me. wait. what ??
bff: ok. your secret™️ is safe with me. wait. what ??
November 21, 2025 at 5:53 PM
me: i have to tell you something but keep it on the down low. you need deodorant. here. take this.
bff: ok. your secret™️ is safe with me. wait. what ??
bff: ok. your secret™️ is safe with me. wait. what ??
Reposted by Chelle
you’ve made your bed now produce a Broadway play in it
November 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
you’ve made your bed now produce a Broadway play in it
Reposted by Chelle
i did not come but i definitely saw
(conquering tbd)
(conquering tbd)
November 21, 2025 at 6:00 PM
i did not come but i definitely saw
(conquering tbd)
(conquering tbd)
Reposted by Chelle
I mean I know I’m still drunk but I think I’m still drunk.
November 11, 2025 at 3:55 AM
I mean I know I’m still drunk but I think I’m still drunk.
Reposted by Chelle
Bubblewrap pants should be a thing.
November 11, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Bubblewrap pants should be a thing.
Reposted by Chelle
I'm holding my life together with duct tape and tequila. You?
November 11, 2025 at 4:33 AM
I'm holding my life together with duct tape and tequila. You?
Reposted by Chelle
Waffle House of Burlesque should be something.
November 11, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Waffle House of Burlesque should be something.
Reposted by Chelle
