Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
Pinned
Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
· Nov 20
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Oh you thought I didn't have more? There are at least 1k hilarious accts on this app and I know all their middle names, okay?
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Oh you thought I didn't have more? There are at least 1k hilarious accts on this app and I know all their middle names, okay?
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you look like you whisper swears
November 11, 2025 at 10:53 AM
you look like you whisper swears
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I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
November 20, 2024 at 2:39 PM
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
"Would you love me if I was warm?"
- your girl who is perpetually cold all year round
- your girl who is perpetually cold all year round
January 22, 2025 at 2:06 PM
"Would you love me if I was warm?"
- your girl who is perpetually cold all year round
- your girl who is perpetually cold all year round
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*a show that I watched once 30 days ago disappears from my Continue Watching*
Hey, I was watching that!
Hey, I was watching that!
August 18, 2025 at 12:30 PM
*a show that I watched once 30 days ago disappears from my Continue Watching*
Hey, I was watching that!
Hey, I was watching that!
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"PUT THE FUCKING CASH IN THE FUCKING BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!"
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
November 1, 2025 at 2:40 PM
"PUT THE FUCKING CASH IN THE FUCKING BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!"
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
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Try the maga tears they’re extra spicy today
November 6, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Try the maga tears they’re extra spicy today
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At what point in this series do you have to stop calling it a FINAL Fantasy
November 9, 2025 at 2:29 AM
At what point in this series do you have to stop calling it a FINAL Fantasy
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my friend, Dee Hydrated, is always thirsty. also she keeps posting sexy pics online wtf
November 8, 2025 at 6:45 PM
my friend, Dee Hydrated, is always thirsty. also she keeps posting sexy pics online wtf
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wow Elon could be the first trillionaire to launch himself off the planet and never return. inspiring.
November 7, 2025 at 2:19 AM
wow Elon could be the first trillionaire to launch himself off the planet and never return. inspiring.
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i first asked my wife out while we were in line at the butcher. we like to say it was a meat cute.
November 9, 2025 at 2:24 PM
i first asked my wife out while we were in line at the butcher. we like to say it was a meat cute.
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the moment you make me go an extra mile for anything is the moment you’ve made a sworn enemy
June 16, 2025 at 2:25 PM
the moment you make me go an extra mile for anything is the moment you’ve made a sworn enemy
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Me when I send a “🤣” emoji
November 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Me when I send a “🤣” emoji
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I don’t bottle up my feelings, the pharmacist does.
November 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I don’t bottle up my feelings, the pharmacist does.
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*crosses over 3 lanes on a highway just to tell you to stay in your lane
November 8, 2025 at 12:46 PM
*crosses over 3 lanes on a highway just to tell you to stay in your lane
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In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
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If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
November 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
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this jacket isn’t very straight at all
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
this jacket isn’t very straight at all
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Why say that it's Dolly Parton performing a youthful urban dance all day, when you can say that she's Twerking 9 to 5?
November 4, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Why say that it's Dolly Parton performing a youthful urban dance all day, when you can say that she's Twerking 9 to 5?
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The person who estimates "total cooking time" on recipes is the ultimate internet troll
November 9, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The person who estimates "total cooking time" on recipes is the ultimate internet troll
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Going to run away with the moon.
November 3, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Going to run away with the moon.
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Kash Patel constantly looks like he accidentally said "I love you" to the waitress
November 9, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Kash Patel constantly looks like he accidentally said "I love you" to the waitress
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"It's an Old Family Recipe" I say, as I poorly manage my emotional well-being
November 8, 2025 at 2:36 PM
"It's an Old Family Recipe" I say, as I poorly manage my emotional well-being
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The way we carry and present our fucking energy is more important than the fucking energy we bring
November 2, 2025 at 4:16 PM
The way we carry and present our fucking energy is more important than the fucking energy we bring
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Eating at Taco Bell and snorting nitrous oxide, just for the shits and giggles.
November 5, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Eating at Taco Bell and snorting nitrous oxide, just for the shits and giggles.