Fomo Simpson
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haliphacks.bsky.social
Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.

My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
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February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
Oooh...buy local. I thought you said "Bye, Loco."

I'm much more familiar with that last one.
February 10, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
My weekends last six minutes but holding a 60 second plank lasts three to five business days.
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 AM
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i think the drones following the skiers should fly closer to encourage them to ski faster
February 9, 2026 at 2:42 AM
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Waiting for the "man I'm glad THAT'S over with" days.
February 9, 2026 at 12:15 PM
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a super bowl commercial crossover between nintendos tecmo bowl and the sunglass hut hut hut
February 8, 2026 at 5:33 AM
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It must be so exhausting to hate things just because a lot of other people enjoy them.
February 8, 2026 at 6:55 PM
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February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
February 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
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February 7, 2026 at 4:57 PM
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
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starting a TikTok trend where people delete TikTok
February 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
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I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.
February 7, 2026 at 6:53 AM
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It's unfortunately ironic that honey doesn't give you a buzz.
February 7, 2026 at 8:14 AM
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Blindfold me with your red flag.
February 6, 2026 at 10:17 PM
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Going through the 7 stages of grief really quick before reading the news.
February 6, 2026 at 12:47 PM
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Them: What has surprised you about adulthood

Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
February 6, 2026 at 11:35 AM
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it’s ok bellybutton, I outlived my purpose too
January 30, 2026 at 2:17 AM
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Self-care Bear encourages people to Care Bear stare themselves
February 3, 2026 at 11:46 PM
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You’d think I would have found some happiness by now with all the shit I spend my money on
February 5, 2026 at 1:50 PM
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Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
February 6, 2026 at 12:43 PM
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the thighs I cannot change
February 5, 2026 at 5:42 PM
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Y'ALL GOTTA GET THESE KIDS OUT MY DAMN HOUSE
February 5, 2026 at 6:00 PM
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i adoritos
February 5, 2026 at 10:40 PM
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February 4, 2026 at 12:35 PM
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Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 PM