Fomo Simpson 🎊
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
Pinned
Fomo Simpson 🎊
@haliphacks.bsky.social
· Dec 25
Hostage Negotiator: What do we have, cap?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
I forgot the name for wood stove so instead I called it indoor camp fire.
January 20, 2025 at 1:51 PM
I forgot the name for wood stove so instead I called it indoor camp fire.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
🎶 Faithful friends who are dear to us / Who share beer with us once more 🎵
December 11, 2024 at 1:30 PM
🎶 Faithful friends who are dear to us / Who share beer with us once more 🎵
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Hostage Negotiator: What do we have, cap?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
December 25, 2024 at 3:58 PM
Hostage Negotiator: What do we have, cap?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
Police Captain: It's another figgy pudding situation.
Hostage Negotiator: Again!?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
I want the same thing this year
All I want for christmas is for everyone to get their search links in order
December 21, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I want the same thing this year
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
netflix asking me to rate a show i haven't finished watching yet feels like a mixture of pressure and mockery and somehow i will have my vengeance
December 26, 2025 at 12:17 AM
netflix asking me to rate a show i haven't finished watching yet feels like a mixture of pressure and mockery and somehow i will have my vengeance
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
sending jake paul and andrew tate each a bottle of tylenol for boxing day
December 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
sending jake paul and andrew tate each a bottle of tylenol for boxing day
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Merry Grinchmas to all INCLUDING my haters
December 25, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Merry Grinchmas to all INCLUDING my haters
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
if you were my neighbor I’d leave my bedroom curtains open
December 18, 2025 at 1:07 PM
if you were my neighbor I’d leave my bedroom curtains open
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
P.s. I heard Santa calling out for you last night..called for you three times and I think a lot of people heard it..embarrassing
December 25, 2025 at 10:39 AM
P.s. I heard Santa calling out for you last night..called for you three times and I think a lot of people heard it..embarrassing
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Everybody's gangster until the end of It's a Wonderful Life
December 25, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Everybody's gangster until the end of It's a Wonderful Life
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
How the Grinch Stole Valor
December 24, 2025 at 11:22 PM
How the Grinch Stole Valor
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Every time I’ve tried to type Merry Christmas this morning autocorrect has changed it to Merry Chairman’s so Merry Chairman’s to everyone!
December 25, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Every time I’ve tried to type Merry Christmas this morning autocorrect has changed it to Merry Chairman’s so Merry Chairman’s to everyone!
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
One day you’re young and enthusiastic, and next day you don’t even climb the steps on the escalator while riding it.
December 16, 2025 at 2:50 PM
One day you’re young and enthusiastic, and next day you don’t even climb the steps on the escalator while riding it.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
As one ages, their hips not only don’t lie but are stridently truthful
December 17, 2025 at 8:17 AM
As one ages, their hips not only don’t lie but are stridently truthful
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Saving Private Ryan but about the War on Christmas
December 25, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Saving Private Ryan but about the War on Christmas
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Santa has contracted E. Coli after too many people left raw milk out for him
December 25, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Santa has contracted E. Coli after too many people left raw milk out for him
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
the average person eats 16 bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers with brisket cream cheese stuffing in their sleep per year
December 22, 2025 at 9:36 PM
the average person eats 16 bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers with brisket cream cheese stuffing in their sleep per year
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
An apple a day keeps the doctor away unless you try to swallow one whole
December 21, 2025 at 4:00 AM
An apple a day keeps the doctor away unless you try to swallow one whole
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
exclamation point! at the wrong part of the sentence
July 18, 2025 at 4:01 PM
exclamation point! at the wrong part of the sentence
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
'Twas three days before Christmas and all through the house, threats of Santa not coming no longer have any fucking effect on my kids.
December 23, 2025 at 2:38 AM
'Twas three days before Christmas and all through the house, threats of Santa not coming no longer have any fucking effect on my kids.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
A dick move sounds like it should be a good thing but it's not.
December 20, 2025 at 12:48 AM
A dick move sounds like it should be a good thing but it's not.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
Thanks for the 2023 wall calendar, grandma.
December 25, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Thanks for the 2023 wall calendar, grandma.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
[Santa dislocating both shoulders to slither down your chimney]
December 16, 2024 at 2:50 AM
[Santa dislocating both shoulders to slither down your chimney]
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
if you’re not wrapping presents for me, you’re wrapping them against me
December 18, 2025 at 4:58 PM
if you’re not wrapping presents for me, you’re wrapping them against me
Reposted by Fomo Simpson 🎊
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
December 22, 2025 at 3:40 PM
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb