Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
Pinned
Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
· Feb 1
February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
Oooh...buy local. I thought you said "Bye, Loco."
I'm much more familiar with that last one.
I'm much more familiar with that last one.
February 10, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Oooh...buy local. I thought you said "Bye, Loco."
I'm much more familiar with that last one.
I'm much more familiar with that last one.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
My weekends last six minutes but holding a 60 second plank lasts three to five business days.
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 AM
My weekends last six minutes but holding a 60 second plank lasts three to five business days.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
i think the drones following the skiers should fly closer to encourage them to ski faster
February 9, 2026 at 2:42 AM
i think the drones following the skiers should fly closer to encourage them to ski faster
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Waiting for the "man I'm glad THAT'S over with" days.
February 9, 2026 at 12:15 PM
Waiting for the "man I'm glad THAT'S over with" days.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
a super bowl commercial crossover between nintendos tecmo bowl and the sunglass hut hut hut
February 8, 2026 at 5:33 AM
a super bowl commercial crossover between nintendos tecmo bowl and the sunglass hut hut hut
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
It must be so exhausting to hate things just because a lot of other people enjoy them.
February 8, 2026 at 6:55 PM
It must be so exhausting to hate things just because a lot of other people enjoy them.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
February 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
starting a TikTok trend where people delete TikTok
February 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
starting a TikTok trend where people delete TikTok
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.
February 7, 2026 at 6:53 AM
I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
It's unfortunately ironic that honey doesn't give you a buzz.
February 7, 2026 at 8:14 AM
It's unfortunately ironic that honey doesn't give you a buzz.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Blindfold me with your red flag.
February 6, 2026 at 10:17 PM
Blindfold me with your red flag.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Going through the 7 stages of grief really quick before reading the news.
February 6, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Going through the 7 stages of grief really quick before reading the news.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Them: What has surprised you about adulthood
Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
February 6, 2026 at 11:35 AM
Them: What has surprised you about adulthood
Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
it’s ok bellybutton, I outlived my purpose too
January 30, 2026 at 2:17 AM
it’s ok bellybutton, I outlived my purpose too
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Self-care Bear encourages people to Care Bear stare themselves
February 3, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Self-care Bear encourages people to Care Bear stare themselves
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
You’d think I would have found some happiness by now with all the shit I spend my money on
February 5, 2026 at 1:50 PM
You’d think I would have found some happiness by now with all the shit I spend my money on
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
February 6, 2026 at 12:43 PM
Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
God, grant me the serenity to accept the thighs I cannot change
February 5, 2026 at 5:42 PM
God, grant me the serenity to accept the thighs I cannot change
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Y'ALL GOTTA GET THESE KIDS OUT MY DAMN HOUSE
February 5, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Y'ALL GOTTA GET THESE KIDS OUT MY DAMN HOUSE
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny