crabby daddy dave
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
crabbydacrab from twitter
<something witty>
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
<something witty>
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
Pinned
Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Hey y'all, I feel bad for being gone so long but what started as a weeklong break for vacay turned into a "THIS WORLD IS BATSHIT," and my heart has been too broken to write jokes. I want to keep this a joke/personal account so...🧵
February 4, 2026 at 3:19 AM
Hey y'all, I feel bad for being gone so long but what started as a weeklong break for vacay turned into a "THIS WORLD IS BATSHIT," and my heart has been too broken to write jokes. I want to keep this a joke/personal account so...🧵
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
I think there needs to be more cinnamon and raisin in bagels
February 4, 2026 at 4:00 AM
I think there needs to be more cinnamon and raisin in bagels
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
So wait, I have to clean my vacuum after I clean? I vacuum then I have to empty it, wash filters, etc. WHERE DOES THIS CYCLE END?!
February 2, 2026 at 4:26 PM
So wait, I have to clean my vacuum after I clean? I vacuum then I have to empty it, wash filters, etc. WHERE DOES THIS CYCLE END?!
this email could have been an emoji
February 4, 2026 at 4:04 AM
this email could have been an emoji
im not sure if it’s just cold in my house as it’s 6 degrees outside or if i bit off too much of a gummy but either way it seems my face is numb
February 4, 2026 at 3:43 AM
im not sure if it’s just cold in my house as it’s 6 degrees outside or if i bit off too much of a gummy but either way it seems my face is numb
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Someone financially and emotionally stable should fall in love w me
February 2, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Someone financially and emotionally stable should fall in love w me
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
this is my first born son, Thermostat. please do not touch him.
February 4, 2026 at 1:39 AM
this is my first born son, Thermostat. please do not touch him.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”
February 4, 2026 at 12:53 AM
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
In this house we twerk until our asses fall off
February 4, 2026 at 1:49 AM
In this house we twerk until our asses fall off
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Stop liking this post its not as good as my other ones and this is not how I want to be remembered as a shitposter
January 29, 2026 at 7:38 PM
Stop liking this post its not as good as my other ones and this is not how I want to be remembered as a shitposter
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
If you haven't unfollowed me by now, that's on you
January 29, 2026 at 1:06 AM
If you haven't unfollowed me by now, that's on you
i wink at tiddlys
tiddlywinks back
tiddlywinks back
February 4, 2026 at 2:17 AM
i wink at tiddlys
tiddlywinks back
tiddlywinks back
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
i was funny for five days what have *you* done
January 29, 2026 at 11:27 AM
i was funny for five days what have *you* done
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
i’m okay with compromise as long as i always get my way
January 30, 2026 at 5:45 PM
i’m okay with compromise as long as i always get my way
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
some people contain multitudes…i contain six gas station hot dogs
January 31, 2026 at 2:26 AM
some people contain multitudes…i contain six gas station hot dogs
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
modern medicine has nothing on the healing powers of an all you can eat breakfast buffet
February 1, 2026 at 1:22 PM
modern medicine has nothing on the healing powers of an all you can eat breakfast buffet
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
here’s a fun game i made up it’s called “how may donuts can it fit in my belly before it starts to hurt?”
February 2, 2026 at 2:53 PM
here’s a fun game i made up it’s called “how may donuts can it fit in my belly before it starts to hurt?”
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Tbh, I prefer beaver to groundhog.
February 2, 2026 at 5:19 PM
Tbh, I prefer beaver to groundhog.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
face id only recognizes me when i have a shredded cheese beard
February 3, 2026 at 1:36 AM
face id only recognizes me when i have a shredded cheese beard
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
but those *were* my good posts
February 3, 2026 at 11:49 AM
but those *were* my good posts
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
in an alternate universe a tattoo is trying to figure out where to put another me
February 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
in an alternate universe a tattoo is trying to figure out where to put another me
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
my therapist thinks i’m ready to tackle some Difficult™ topics, so tonight i’m going to talk about how i never show up in anyone’s skircle
February 3, 2026 at 5:42 PM
my therapist thinks i’m ready to tackle some Difficult™ topics, so tonight i’m going to talk about how i never show up in anyone’s skircle
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
My toxic trait is thinking one productive task means I deserve to retire for the day
February 3, 2026 at 6:38 PM
My toxic trait is thinking one productive task means I deserve to retire for the day
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
every post is a banger if you never check the interactions on it after posting.
December 29, 2024 at 3:07 AM
every post is a banger if you never check the interactions on it after posting.