crabby daddy dave
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
crabbydacrab from twitter
<something witty>
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
<something witty>
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
Pinned
Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
My favorite one is if this was an inflight movie, people would walk out
January 30, 2026 at 8:16 PM
My favorite one is if this was an inflight movie, people would walk out
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
can’t hang out this weekend
re-binging Schitt’s Creek
re-binging Schitt’s Creek
January 30, 2026 at 10:29 PM
can’t hang out this weekend
re-binging Schitt’s Creek
re-binging Schitt’s Creek
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness?
Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
January 29, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness?
Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Sorry I punched your toddler but that thing was screaming hard and I didn’t anticipate Walmart to play “Kickstart My Heart”
January 30, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Sorry I punched your toddler but that thing was screaming hard and I didn’t anticipate Walmart to play “Kickstart My Heart”
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Bubbling with empathy and indifference like nature’s lava lamp
January 30, 2026 at 9:52 PM
Bubbling with empathy and indifference like nature’s lava lamp
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Can’t. Getting steroid injections in my jaw so I can eat a bag of beef jerky.
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Can’t. Getting steroid injections in my jaw so I can eat a bag of beef jerky.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Not shaved, not natural, but a secret third thing (crop circles)
January 28, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Not shaved, not natural, but a secret third thing (crop circles)
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Opening a fresh package of chapsticks.
"I can't wait to lose these."
"I can't wait to lose these."
January 30, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Opening a fresh package of chapsticks.
"I can't wait to lose these."
"I can't wait to lose these."
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
“wow you replied fast” okay well you wouldn’t have known that if you weren’t on your phone too, you judgmental butthole
January 30, 2026 at 9:44 PM
“wow you replied fast” okay well you wouldn’t have known that if you weren’t on your phone too, you judgmental butthole
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
on the bright side of things, there's maybe next year.
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
on the bright side of things, there's maybe next year.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
(takes hit) that’s what i love about these 7up zero two liters, man. i get older, they stay the same price
January 30, 2026 at 10:07 PM
(takes hit) that’s what i love about these 7up zero two liters, man. i get older, they stay the same price
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.
January 30, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
you're living in peace. i'm living in pieces. let's get a coffee sometime.
January 30, 2026 at 10:07 PM
you're living in peace. i'm living in pieces. let's get a coffee sometime.
im only psychic in the past tense
January 30, 2026 at 9:27 PM
im only psychic in the past tense
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
I'm still on my free trial of Bluesky
January 28, 2026 at 6:08 PM
I'm still on my free trial of Bluesky
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
The ones You hate live forever while the best of us go way too early.
January 30, 2026 at 7:12 PM
The ones You hate live forever while the best of us go way too early.
i’ll never read a recipe that needs cheese added without thinking of this scene. 😢
a woman holding a plate of food with the words you just fold it in
Alt: Moira from schitts Creek holding a plate of cheese telling her son David you just fold it in
media.tenor.com
January 30, 2026 at 9:22 PM
i’ll never read a recipe that needs cheese added without thinking of this scene. 😢
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
I’m saving all your skeets today.
January 30, 2026 at 3:58 PM
I’m saving all your skeets today.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
I missed a few posts. Please start over.
January 28, 2026 at 10:24 PM
I missed a few posts. Please start over.
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
not cold. just doesn’t melt for everyone
January 30, 2026 at 1:49 AM
not cold. just doesn’t melt for everyone
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
just realized that at my age I will be tired for the rest of my life
January 30, 2026 at 5:15 AM
just realized that at my age I will be tired for the rest of my life
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
You’re done for the day go back to bed
January 30, 2026 at 12:41 PM
You’re done for the day go back to bed
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
must be psychic because i can already tell im having two cups of coffee today
January 30, 2026 at 11:44 AM
must be psychic because i can already tell im having two cups of coffee today
Reposted by crabby daddy dave
Doctors without hors d'oeuvres
January 29, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Doctors without hors d'oeuvres
close the door, do you live in a barn, is something i just said so i should probably go get some werthers
January 30, 2026 at 1:49 PM
close the door, do you live in a barn, is something i just said so i should probably go get some werthers