dave the turkey crab
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
CrabbyDaCrab from Twitter
architect - but unplanned life
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
architect - but unplanned life
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
Pinned
Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.
tomorrow’s regrets begin with today’s why nots
November 11, 2025 at 2:58 AM
tomorrow’s regrets begin with today’s why nots
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
let me go back to sleep about it
November 10, 2025 at 3:31 PM
let me go back to sleep about it
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
this guy with 30k followers who follows 60k accounts is going to be my new best friend i can feel it
November 11, 2025 at 1:09 AM
this guy with 30k followers who follows 60k accounts is going to be my new best friend i can feel it
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
i like my ice how i like my ICE, crushed
November 11, 2025 at 12:31 AM
i like my ice how i like my ICE, crushed
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
*taps mike*
I’d like to take a moment to thank all my non-bot followers. There may be dozens of you.
Bleep bloop blop to the bots.
But seriously, I love you guys, you’re great.
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any questions. I’ll probably never answer them, but don’t hesitate.
I’d like to take a moment to thank all my non-bot followers. There may be dozens of you.
Bleep bloop blop to the bots.
But seriously, I love you guys, you’re great.
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any questions. I’ll probably never answer them, but don’t hesitate.
July 10, 2025 at 2:05 AM
*taps mike*
I’d like to take a moment to thank all my non-bot followers. There may be dozens of you.
Bleep bloop blop to the bots.
But seriously, I love you guys, you’re great.
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any questions. I’ll probably never answer them, but don’t hesitate.
I’d like to take a moment to thank all my non-bot followers. There may be dozens of you.
Bleep bloop blop to the bots.
But seriously, I love you guys, you’re great.
Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any questions. I’ll probably never answer them, but don’t hesitate.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Bold move approaching and speaking to a woman who is eating pasta out of her hand over the sink
November 10, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Bold move approaching and speaking to a woman who is eating pasta out of her hand over the sink
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I’m not a fuckboy. I’m a flirtation sensation.
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I’m not a fuckboy. I’m a flirtation sensation.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
you can wear creased clothes anywhere no-one can stop you
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
you can wear creased clothes anywhere no-one can stop you
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I did quite enjoy the new Frankenstein, if you even care
November 9, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I did quite enjoy the new Frankenstein, if you even care
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I went to high five myself but I left me hanging and I looked like a total idiot. How embarrassing
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I went to high five myself but I left me hanging and I looked like a total idiot. How embarrassing
why does weed =
a baby is holding a blue cup and saying snaaaaacks
Alt: a baby is holding a blue cup and saying snaaaaacks
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 AM
why does weed =
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Hamburger helps those that help themselves
November 9, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Hamburger helps those that help themselves
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
apocalypse now is just an optimistic way of saying what a total shit show
November 11, 2025 at 2:12 AM
apocalypse now is just an optimistic way of saying what a total shit show
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Calories don’t count when you are day drinking on a Sunday
November 9, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Calories don’t count when you are day drinking on a Sunday
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
lower yourself into a cranberry bog it’s time
November 11, 2025 at 12:32 AM
lower yourself into a cranberry bog it’s time
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
“be yourself” they said.
okay.
now everyone’s mad.
okay.
now everyone’s mad.
November 10, 2025 at 7:27 AM
“be yourself” they said.
okay.
now everyone’s mad.
okay.
now everyone’s mad.
can’t, i’m feeding my chickens and cows
November 11, 2025 at 2:09 AM
can’t, i’m feeding my chickens and cows
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
this town IS big enough for the both of us. it's like a whole town, how much space could two people possibly need?
November 11, 2025 at 12:29 AM
this town IS big enough for the both of us. it's like a whole town, how much space could two people possibly need?
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I've started going grocery shopping at 6 am when the store opens. There's no crowds. Just me and a bunch of old people... wait... omg IM AN OLD PEOPLE NOW
November 10, 2025 at 12:15 PM
I've started going grocery shopping at 6 am when the store opens. There's no crowds. Just me and a bunch of old people... wait... omg IM AN OLD PEOPLE NOW
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
November 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
what if being alive was free? that'd be petty cool
November 10, 2025 at 9:44 PM
what if being alive was free? that'd be petty cool
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I dropped my phone on my face again, so clearly I’m thriving.
November 10, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I dropped my phone on my face again, so clearly I’m thriving.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Do men have feelings? Are they called hemotions?
November 11, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Do men have feelings? Are they called hemotions?
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed
November 11, 2025 at 12:26 AM
how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed