dave the turkey crab
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
CrabbyDaCrab from Twitter
architect - but unplanned life
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
architect - but unplanned life
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
Pinned
Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
it’s fun to make people cry (smashes the like on your precious 69)
November 13, 2025 at 6:06 PM
it’s fun to make people cry (smashes the like on your precious 69)
you're so clueless you put on a turn signal to enter a traffic circle
November 14, 2025 at 2:46 AM
you're so clueless you put on a turn signal to enter a traffic circle
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I'm not spiraling, I'm pirouetting
November 13, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I'm not spiraling, I'm pirouetting
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
im sorry you had to see me kung fu fighting
November 13, 2025 at 12:31 PM
im sorry you had to see me kung fu fighting
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
The lake was quite pretty this morning.
Get outside if you are able. It can do wonders.
Get outside if you are able. It can do wonders.
November 13, 2025 at 12:46 PM
The lake was quite pretty this morning.
Get outside if you are able. It can do wonders.
Get outside if you are able. It can do wonders.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
you never spin me right round like a record baby anymore
November 13, 2025 at 8:22 PM
you never spin me right round like a record baby anymore
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
ADHD life: I started making lunch two hours ago. Now it's dinner.
November 13, 2025 at 9:21 PM
ADHD life: I started making lunch two hours ago. Now it's dinner.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
nancy drew & the mystery of why I keep refreshing my social media accounts instead of reading a book
November 13, 2025 at 4:48 AM
nancy drew & the mystery of why I keep refreshing my social media accounts instead of reading a book
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Horizontal cowgirl so I can still use the heating pad
November 13, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Horizontal cowgirl so I can still use the heating pad
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
i like to walk around my neighborhood leaving helpful notes in ppls mailboxes, such as “doric columns don’t belong on a mid-century modern. what is u doing?” or “ your home has a mix of window styles that makes me wonder about the aesthetic you were going for. what is you doing?” or
December 10, 2023 at 2:22 PM
i like to walk around my neighborhood leaving helpful notes in ppls mailboxes, such as “doric columns don’t belong on a mid-century modern. what is u doing?” or “ your home has a mix of window styles that makes me wonder about the aesthetic you were going for. what is you doing?” or
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
My fragrance? Yes, it is captivating isn't it? It's Trader Joe's Bergamot & Vetiver Scented Multi-Purpose Cleaner. Thanks for asking.
November 13, 2025 at 5:39 PM
My fragrance? Yes, it is captivating isn't it? It's Trader Joe's Bergamot & Vetiver Scented Multi-Purpose Cleaner. Thanks for asking.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
First date idea:
You bring me a wheel of cheese, we make raclette and we eat it after sex.
You bring me a wheel of cheese, we make raclette and we eat it after sex.
November 13, 2025 at 6:56 PM
First date idea:
You bring me a wheel of cheese, we make raclette and we eat it after sex.
You bring me a wheel of cheese, we make raclette and we eat it after sex.
chester sat alone, staring out the window of the second rate coffee shop pondering his life choices and where it all went wrong.
the nights spent out with the feral tabby?
the days spent sleeping in strange boxes?
the kit-cat club is even tiresome now.
tired of kibbles.
tired of everything.
the nights spent out with the feral tabby?
the days spent sleeping in strange boxes?
the kit-cat club is even tiresome now.
tired of kibbles.
tired of everything.
November 13, 2025 at 6:58 PM
chester sat alone, staring out the window of the second rate coffee shop pondering his life choices and where it all went wrong.
the nights spent out with the feral tabby?
the days spent sleeping in strange boxes?
the kit-cat club is even tiresome now.
tired of kibbles.
tired of everything.
the nights spent out with the feral tabby?
the days spent sleeping in strange boxes?
the kit-cat club is even tiresome now.
tired of kibbles.
tired of everything.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Support your local flaws, imperfections, mistakes and food banks
November 9, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Support your local flaws, imperfections, mistakes and food banks
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
This account is for sale DM me.
$1
$1
November 8, 2025 at 3:11 PM
This account is for sale DM me.
$1
$1
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Hoping to become what I was always meant to be, a baked potato
October 30, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Hoping to become what I was always meant to be, a baked potato
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I thought this sign definitely said something else from afar
October 11, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I thought this sign definitely said something else from afar
maybe it’s maybelline
maybe just born this way
maybe just born this way
November 13, 2025 at 6:16 PM
maybe it’s maybelline
maybe just born this way
maybe just born this way
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
This is going to hurt. I say as I continue doing it
November 13, 2025 at 3:48 PM
This is going to hurt. I say as I continue doing it
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Just a shoutout of thanks and recognition to my sexier followers. You are the REAL heroes.
November 13, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Just a shoutout of thanks and recognition to my sexier followers. You are the REAL heroes.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Welcome to another episode of “Am I dying or is this just what being old feels like?”
November 13, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Welcome to another episode of “Am I dying or is this just what being old feels like?”
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
The smoke show is the calm before the shitshow.
November 13, 2025 at 2:02 AM
The smoke show is the calm before the shitshow.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I'm not the man of your dreams
November 13, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I'm not the man of your dreams
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
...is there a lord marmalade?
November 10, 2025 at 10:28 PM
...is there a lord marmalade?
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Sometimes I worry my cat is tweeting about how disappointing I am.
November 13, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Sometimes I worry my cat is tweeting about how disappointing I am.