Greg the Miller
@gregthemiller.bsky.social
(he/him) bidet & star trek enthusiast. certified cornball
@gregthemiller@beige.party
Dumb: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaapzdlwgaxts
Dumber: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaane6crbwawc
@gregthemiller@beige.party
Dumb: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaapzdlwgaxts
Dumber: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6inp5yiltrxwaaysprylsihq/feed/aaane6crbwawc
Pinned
no i don’t want to “hang out” i only want to be perceived two sentences at a time by strangers on the internet
Reposted by Greg the Miller
All the fleeting ghosts from the corners of your eyes are more apart than anything in front of you so please, keep them in mind sideways for the panoramic pick up lines, condemned tire swing matchmakings just laying around and around in your yard
November 11, 2025 at 5:41 AM
All the fleeting ghosts from the corners of your eyes are more apart than anything in front of you so please, keep them in mind sideways for the panoramic pick up lines, condemned tire swing matchmakings just laying around and around in your yard
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Attention all shoppers: your store rewards program is now tied to your performance at scanning and bagging your groceries in the self-checkout line
November 8, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Attention all shoppers: your store rewards program is now tied to your performance at scanning and bagging your groceries in the self-checkout line
Reposted by Greg the Miller
I'm holding my life together with duct tape and tequila. You?
November 11, 2025 at 4:33 AM
I'm holding my life together with duct tape and tequila. You?
Reposted by Greg the Miller
they should put dune in imax again cuz i want to see it now
November 11, 2025 at 5:43 AM
they should put dune in imax again cuz i want to see it now
Reposted by Greg the Miller
i will never log off
November 11, 2025 at 5:22 AM
i will never log off
Reposted by Greg the Miller
at your party fingering the strings of this bad boy
November 11, 2025 at 5:22 AM
at your party fingering the strings of this bad boy
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
Reposted by Greg the Miller
me at 17: I can't let anyone find out that I like Matchbox Twenty. that would be so embarrassing
me in my 30's:
me in my 30's:
November 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
me at 17: I can't let anyone find out that I like Matchbox Twenty. that would be so embarrassing
me in my 30's:
me in my 30's:
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Looking left then right before whispering "at hotmail dot com" when giving my email to shop assistants
November 10, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Looking left then right before whispering "at hotmail dot com" when giving my email to shop assistants
Reposted by Greg the Miller
What have I missed..jk idgaf.
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 AM
What have I missed..jk idgaf.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
I'd take a time machine back to every one of Mitch Hedberg's shows. So I could laugh hysterically when the dumbasses in the crowd wouldn't.
November 11, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I'd take a time machine back to every one of Mitch Hedberg's shows. So I could laugh hysterically when the dumbasses in the crowd wouldn't.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
a nightclub for millennials where we can dance. doors open at 7pm. lights out by 11pm.
November 11, 2025 at 4:13 AM
a nightclub for millennials where we can dance. doors open at 7pm. lights out by 11pm.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
February 8, 2025 at 4:07 AM
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Funny how guys seem to always say..
Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports”
like do you men hear yourselves
As if only men can appreciate sports
And they think their condescending words make us all giddy
M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”
Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports”
like do you men hear yourselves
As if only men can appreciate sports
And they think their condescending words make us all giddy
M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”
November 9, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Funny how guys seem to always say..
Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports”
like do you men hear yourselves
As if only men can appreciate sports
And they think their condescending words make us all giddy
M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”
Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports”
like do you men hear yourselves
As if only men can appreciate sports
And they think their condescending words make us all giddy
M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Y’all celebrate with me: after more than a year in this house I just figured out how to turn on the weird light on a pole in my yard.
November 10, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Y’all celebrate with me: after more than a year in this house I just figured out how to turn on the weird light on a pole in my yard.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
some tech bro is gonna be like "disrupt the way u toilet" and the next day eleven people are crammed into an outhouse and sent to the moon
November 8, 2025 at 2:00 AM
some tech bro is gonna be like "disrupt the way u toilet" and the next day eleven people are crammed into an outhouse and sent to the moon
Reposted by Greg the Miller
My mind feels like I’m much younger but my body is like nope
November 11, 2025 at 2:47 AM
My mind feels like I’m much younger but my body is like nope
Reposted by Greg the Miller
i didnt drop it like its hot i dropped it because im clumsy
November 11, 2025 at 3:05 AM
i didnt drop it like its hot i dropped it because im clumsy
Reposted by Greg the Miller
I learned some things growing up with The Simpsons.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
November 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I learned some things growing up with The Simpsons.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by Greg the Miller
I used to think I could change the world and now I’m proud of myself for changing my sheets
January 29, 2025 at 12:37 PM
I used to think I could change the world and now I’m proud of myself for changing my sheets
Reposted by Greg the Miller
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
November 10, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
Reposted by Greg the Miller
I went to high five myself but I left me hanging and I looked like a total idiot. How embarrassing
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I went to high five myself but I left me hanging and I looked like a total idiot. How embarrassing
Reposted by Greg the Miller
you wanna dogpile me, eh
can I at least request a puppy pile?
can I at least request a puppy pile?
November 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
you wanna dogpile me, eh
can I at least request a puppy pile?
can I at least request a puppy pile?
Reposted by Greg the Miller
ridding your throat of phlegm 100 times a day is a dad rite of clearing passage
November 10, 2025 at 6:10 PM
ridding your throat of phlegm 100 times a day is a dad rite of clearing passage