Audrey Porne
@audreyporne.bsky.social
Your goth cousin's friend. Standup comedian in NZ. I love horror movies. Ngāi tahu.
Pinned
Audrey Porne
@audreyporne.bsky.social
· Jul 14
[first glass of wine]
mmm nice. let's listen to jazz
[second glass of wine]
*struggling to remove my sweatshirt* we should fuck on the roof
mmm nice. let's listen to jazz
[second glass of wine]
*struggling to remove my sweatshirt* we should fuck on the roof
Leigh Whannell smoking a cigarette in Saw, you will always be famous. A vape could never look this hot.
November 28, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Leigh Whannell smoking a cigarette in Saw, you will always be famous. A vape could never look this hot.
how it feels to be right when you literally just guessed with confidence
November 28, 2025 at 11:02 AM
how it feels to be right when you literally just guessed with confidence
In Euphoria Season 3, actress Girly McLady will play a camgirl sex addict who's selling molly to high-school strippers to fund her penis addiction
November 28, 2025 at 11:01 AM
In Euphoria Season 3, actress Girly McLady will play a camgirl sex addict who's selling molly to high-school strippers to fund her penis addiction
Reposted by Audrey Porne
I want what they have (cocaine)
October 8, 2023 at 12:22 AM
I want what they have (cocaine)
My last 3 braincells
November 23, 2025 at 2:58 AM
My last 3 braincells
Reposted by Audrey Porne
How come technology can invent a self saucing cake but we still don't have a self eating ass?
November 23, 2025 at 2:52 AM
How come technology can invent a self saucing cake but we still don't have a self eating ass?
when my husband is away, I tell him the shows he's not allowed to watch until he's home so we can watch them together, but sometimes I send him teasers
November 20, 2025 at 10:04 AM
when my husband is away, I tell him the shows he's not allowed to watch until he's home so we can watch them together, but sometimes I send him teasers
I think the new pain meds are working 👍
November 20, 2025 at 9:59 AM
I think the new pain meds are working 👍
This is going gangbusters on twitter. Bluesky is too nice
If I ask out loud why the cast of Wicked are so thin and behave like they're made of glass, will I be attacked and accused of body shaming? Gauging the social temperature before I actually say it (this doesn't count, by the way).
November 19, 2025 at 10:50 PM
This is going gangbusters on twitter. Bluesky is too nice
Reposted by Audrey Porne
terrifying if literal, bagel bites
November 18, 2025 at 10:02 AM
terrifying if literal, bagel bites
Reposted by Audrey Porne
Thinking about becoming a handsome ER doc who doesn’t play by the rules
November 18, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Thinking about becoming a handsome ER doc who doesn’t play by the rules
If I ask out loud why the cast of Wicked are so thin and behave like they're made of glass, will I be attacked and accused of body shaming? Gauging the social temperature before I actually say it (this doesn't count, by the way).
November 18, 2025 at 7:40 AM
If I ask out loud why the cast of Wicked are so thin and behave like they're made of glass, will I be attacked and accused of body shaming? Gauging the social temperature before I actually say it (this doesn't count, by the way).
Reposted by Audrey Porne
Never mind Rex Manning Day; yesterday was Audrey Porne Day. To celebrate, here's that time we had a nice chat about Empire Records. Happy birthday @audreyporne.bsky.social. An "Awesome" card is on it's way!
www.buzzsprout.com/113660/episo...
www.buzzsprout.com/113660/episo...
November 18, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Never mind Rex Manning Day; yesterday was Audrey Porne Day. To celebrate, here's that time we had a nice chat about Empire Records. Happy birthday @audreyporne.bsky.social. An "Awesome" card is on it's way!
www.buzzsprout.com/113660/episo...
www.buzzsprout.com/113660/episo...
It was my birthday yesterday, but I'm posting about it here today because I love attention.
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 AM
It was my birthday yesterday, but I'm posting about it here today because I love attention.
I've heard Wolf Man is bad, but I want Julia Garner to be my girlfriend, so on that basis, I will be watching
November 16, 2025 at 7:04 AM
I've heard Wolf Man is bad, but I want Julia Garner to be my girlfriend, so on that basis, I will be watching
years ago I was losing my mind arguing with a rude man on twitter and my husband said "you're playing chess with a pigeon" and it flipped a switch in me.
November 16, 2025 at 2:26 AM
years ago I was losing my mind arguing with a rude man on twitter and my husband said "you're playing chess with a pigeon" and it flipped a switch in me.
bout to eat a pie that was best before today. I'm like if a woman was really chill
November 16, 2025 at 2:18 AM
bout to eat a pie that was best before today. I'm like if a woman was really chill
Reposted by Audrey Porne
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
Has 'woke' gone too far? I have sleep paralysis!
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Has 'woke' gone too far? I have sleep paralysis!
Watching a crime documentary and someone just described a suspect by saying (with a southern accent) "He couldn't organize a two car parade"
amazing.
amazing.
November 13, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Watching a crime documentary and someone just described a suspect by saying (with a southern accent) "He couldn't organize a two car parade"
amazing.
amazing.
Reposted by Audrey Porne
grizled settler scanning the brocapped mountains we cant homestead here this valley is chopped
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
grizled settler scanning the brocapped mountains we cant homestead here this valley is chopped
November 12, 2025 at 2:43 AM