Robert Knop
@fatherwithtwins.bsky.social
Big fan of my 13yo twin boys and my wife. Level 10 dad jokester.
Pinned
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
Reposted by Robert Knop
Forty sleeps until Christmas but no pressure.
November 15, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Forty sleeps until Christmas but no pressure.
Reposted by Robert Knop
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
November 13, 2025 at 3:18 PM
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
Reposted by Robert Knop
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Musty Springfield
Musty Springfield
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
David Lee Rath
David Lee Rath
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Saggy Hagar
Saggy Hagar
November 14, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Change a letter, make a singer less appealing:
Musty Springfield
Musty Springfield
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this is way too much diggity, we’re gonna have to bag it up
November 5, 2025 at 7:05 AM
this is way too much diggity, we’re gonna have to bag it up
Reposted by Robert Knop
Some of y’all are clearly not imagining enough dragons
November 13, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Some of y’all are clearly not imagining enough dragons
Me: Forecast says rain the next few days. Looks like we are stuck inside all weekend
Wife: Yesssss!!
Wife: Yesssss!!
November 14, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Me: Forecast says rain the next few days. Looks like we are stuck inside all weekend
Wife: Yesssss!!
Wife: Yesssss!!
Reposted by Robert Knop
muppet movie posters: thread
November 14, 2025 at 2:14 AM
muppet movie posters: thread
Reposted by Robert Knop
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
November 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Safety inspector: I found two major issues with your Death Star. For one thing, there are no railings.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We believe railings would detract from the austerity of our bottomless chasms.
Safety inspector: That brings us to my second issue.
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Another unrealistic body standard for women.
November 11, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Another unrealistic body standard for women.
Reposted by Robert Knop
Nothing brings a couple closer than overhearing another couple fight at the next table.
November 10, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Nothing brings a couple closer than overhearing another couple fight at the next table.
Reposted by Robert Knop
the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying
October 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying
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I don't delete my bad posts because why should I suffer alone.
November 9, 2025 at 6:50 PM
I don't delete my bad posts because why should I suffer alone.
Reposted by Robert Knop
If YouTube didn’t run 30 second ads before showing “Heimlich Maneuver” I’m sure my date tonight would’ve asked me out again.
November 8, 2025 at 5:07 AM
If YouTube didn’t run 30 second ads before showing “Heimlich Maneuver” I’m sure my date tonight would’ve asked me out again.
Reposted by Robert Knop
There must be some unwritten rule that smoke detectors have to start malfunctioning at night. To ensure that at least one person in the house is asleep.
November 8, 2025 at 2:46 AM
There must be some unwritten rule that smoke detectors have to start malfunctioning at night. To ensure that at least one person in the house is asleep.
Reposted by Robert Knop
[interview with a vampire] where do you see yourself in 105 years
October 29, 2025 at 4:28 PM
[interview with a vampire] where do you see yourself in 105 years
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Them: your days are numbered
Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass
Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass
November 6, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Them: your days are numbered
Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass
Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass
Reposted by Robert Knop
Two slices of swiss cheese in a little plastic bowl as an on-the-way-to-work snack in the sunny car was such a bad call.
November 6, 2025 at 4:44 AM
Two slices of swiss cheese in a little plastic bowl as an on-the-way-to-work snack in the sunny car was such a bad call.
Reposted by Robert Knop
I don’t want to play any game that requires me to put skin into it.
November 4, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I don’t want to play any game that requires me to put skin into it.
Reposted by Robert Knop
your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
November 5, 2025 at 1:50 AM
your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
Reposted by Robert Knop
can't believe Salvador Dalí left all those clocks out in the sun like that smdh
November 5, 2025 at 8:48 PM
can't believe Salvador Dalí left all those clocks out in the sun like that smdh
Reposted by Robert Knop
i don’t trust most of you to sit in the emergency exit row
November 5, 2025 at 7:24 PM
i don’t trust most of you to sit in the emergency exit row
Reposted by Robert Knop
THEM: awww you have a cute red head baby
ME: oh no that’s cheeto dust
ME: oh no that’s cheeto dust
November 5, 2025 at 1:26 AM
THEM: awww you have a cute red head baby
ME: oh no that’s cheeto dust
ME: oh no that’s cheeto dust
Reposted by Robert Knop
The hotel I stayed at in Boston text me that they want me to visit again. Like omg, so obsessed with me.
November 1, 2025 at 10:55 PM
The hotel I stayed at in Boston text me that they want me to visit again. Like omg, so obsessed with me.