Draconian Hustle
@draconianhustle.bsky.social
Liam Neeson’s Stunt double
My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ghry4q4sj2deq6ltvvauubvb/feed/aaal3juc4h54i
My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ghry4q4sj2deq6ltvvauubvb/feed/aaal3juc4h54i
Pinned
I’m economically challenged Batman
My Batmobile is a Nissan & instead of a cool grappling hook gun I have one of those old person EZ reacher-grabber sticks
Normally I tell my secret identity after the 3rd date. So after the date she can maybe drop me off to fight crime & save me a few bucks on gas
My Batmobile is a Nissan & instead of a cool grappling hook gun I have one of those old person EZ reacher-grabber sticks
Normally I tell my secret identity after the 3rd date. So after the date she can maybe drop me off to fight crime & save me a few bucks on gas
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Maybe they could subpoena Epstein’s Elf on the Shelf and really blow this thing open?
November 16, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Maybe they could subpoena Epstein’s Elf on the Shelf and really blow this thing open?
In NASCAR when a race-car pulls in for a quick pit stop to get fuel or whatever they call it….
“A splash & go”
But when running in a marathon you pit stop at a porta-potty & do a slightly different “splash & go”
“A splash & go”
But when running in a marathon you pit stop at a porta-potty & do a slightly different “splash & go”
November 20, 2025 at 11:31 PM
In NASCAR when a race-car pulls in for a quick pit stop to get fuel or whatever they call it….
“A splash & go”
But when running in a marathon you pit stop at a porta-potty & do a slightly different “splash & go”
“A splash & go”
But when running in a marathon you pit stop at a porta-potty & do a slightly different “splash & go”
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you look for your license and registration. I know this…now.
November 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you look for your license and registration. I know this…now.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
We assume a ghost is evil when it knocks things off shelves, but maybe it’s just really clumsy
October 26, 2025 at 2:14 AM
We assume a ghost is evil when it knocks things off shelves, but maybe it’s just really clumsy
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
October 17, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Heavens to Betsy
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
Betsy to Heavens
Heavens BACK to Betsy
Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
🎶i’m all out of blood, i’m so lost without you🎶
-vampires, probably
-vampires, probably
October 1, 2025 at 6:44 PM
🎶i’m all out of blood, i’m so lost without you🎶
-vampires, probably
-vampires, probably
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Mr. Peanut was recently diagnosed with osteoporosis. Now he's Mr. Peanut Brittle.
October 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Mr. Peanut was recently diagnosed with osteoporosis. Now he's Mr. Peanut Brittle.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
I’m going to bring a flare gun in this corn maze… just in case
September 24, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I’m going to bring a flare gun in this corn maze… just in case
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
[Law and Order: Earth, Wind, and Fire Unit]
DETECTIVE: do you remember where you were the 21st night in September
DETECTIVE: do you remember where you were the 21st night in September
July 11, 2023 at 7:11 AM
[Law and Order: Earth, Wind, and Fire Unit]
DETECTIVE: do you remember where you were the 21st night in September
DETECTIVE: do you remember where you were the 21st night in September
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Before breakfast, Bill Banister brought Betty big boxes of bratwurst, brisket, and braised beef, as well as banana bread, buttermilk biscuits, bottles of Budweiser beer, and buckets of baked beans for the big biannual barbecue behind Benjamin Brown's barn by Bethlehem Baptist.
September 14, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Before breakfast, Bill Banister brought Betty big boxes of bratwurst, brisket, and braised beef, as well as banana bread, buttermilk biscuits, bottles of Budweiser beer, and buckets of baked beans for the big biannual barbecue behind Benjamin Brown's barn by Bethlehem Baptist.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
No one's ever called me a handsome devil but I have been told I look like hell.
September 11, 2025 at 10:45 PM
No one's ever called me a handsome devil but I have been told I look like hell.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
DETECTIVE: Sir, Madam, we have reason to believe your child was involved in a burglary last night.
HIM: Our son?
ME: [first day as a cop] No lol, that’s when you set fire to something.
HIM: Our son?
ME: [first day as a cop] No lol, that’s when you set fire to something.
September 8, 2025 at 7:27 PM
DETECTIVE: Sir, Madam, we have reason to believe your child was involved in a burglary last night.
HIM: Our son?
ME: [first day as a cop] No lol, that’s when you set fire to something.
HIM: Our son?
ME: [first day as a cop] No lol, that’s when you set fire to something.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
For the record, every time I’ve been to Hooter’s, it’s been as a FBI informant.
September 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
For the record, every time I’ve been to Hooter’s, it’s been as a FBI informant.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
I’m all out of grub, I’m so lost without food
September 7, 2025 at 2:08 PM
I’m all out of grub, I’m so lost without food
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
I put on my pants just like Winnie the Pooh
August 27, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I put on my pants just like Winnie the Pooh
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Went 0-1 in my bear wrestling career. RIP in pieces, me.
August 27, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Went 0-1 in my bear wrestling career. RIP in pieces, me.
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
My swear jar is filled with IOFUs
August 19, 2025 at 10:27 PM
My swear jar is filled with IOFUs
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Don’t you hate it when you’ve just decapitated your arch-enemy in a duel, on the edge of a mountain but when you hold his head up by the hair to wave in front of your army, it’s facing in the wrong direction?
August 9, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Don’t you hate it when you’ve just decapitated your arch-enemy in a duel, on the edge of a mountain but when you hold his head up by the hair to wave in front of your army, it’s facing in the wrong direction?
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
Be the change you wish to see in the fountain
August 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Be the change you wish to see in the fountain
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
whenever i can’t find Waldo i just pretend he ran off with Carmen Sandiego and turn the page
August 7, 2025 at 9:44 PM
whenever i can’t find Waldo i just pretend he ran off with Carmen Sandiego and turn the page
Reposted by Draconian Hustle
STADIUM SECURITY: Sir, we’ve got a streaker.
ME [solving two problems at once]: *loads T-shirt gun*
ME [solving two problems at once]: *loads T-shirt gun*
July 26, 2025 at 6:45 PM
STADIUM SECURITY: Sir, we’ve got a streaker.
ME [solving two problems at once]: *loads T-shirt gun*
ME [solving two problems at once]: *loads T-shirt gun*