Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
I don’t have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
Pinned
Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
· Nov 12
Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?"
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Reposted by Drew
There seems to be a shortage of handbaskets.
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
There seems to be a shortage of handbaskets.
Thinking about joining the Amish.
January 22, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Thinking about joining the Amish.
You wine some. You booze some.
January 21, 2026 at 9:47 PM
You wine some. You booze some.
Reposted by Drew
There’s no excuse for my behavior, I googled it.
January 21, 2026 at 8:08 PM
There’s no excuse for my behavior, I googled it.
Reposted by Drew
Her: You forgot our anniversary again.
Him (a goldfish): Brenda, you knew what I was when you married me.
Him (a goldfish): Brenda, you knew what I was when you married me.
January 21, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Her: You forgot our anniversary again.
Him (a goldfish): Brenda, you knew what I was when you married me.
Him (a goldfish): Brenda, you knew what I was when you married me.
Reposted by Drew
what’s it called when you go to exercise and end up at chipotle instead?
January 21, 2026 at 8:43 PM
what’s it called when you go to exercise and end up at chipotle instead?
Reposted by Drew
there is no reason to be a people pleaser. people are never pleased.
January 20, 2026 at 10:07 PM
there is no reason to be a people pleaser. people are never pleased.
Reposted by Drew
Who up early popping their tarts?
January 19, 2026 at 11:42 AM
Who up early popping their tarts?
Reposted by Drew
i'm really surprised the song 'cocaine' isn't faster
January 19, 2026 at 5:50 PM
i'm really surprised the song 'cocaine' isn't faster
Reposted by Drew
Netflix: are you still watching and wearing the same sweatsuit for five days?
January 19, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Netflix: are you still watching and wearing the same sweatsuit for five days?
Reposted by Drew
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
January 19, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
Reposted by Drew
You can just say you just finished a workout it doesn't need to be true
January 19, 2026 at 2:01 PM
You can just say you just finished a workout it doesn't need to be true
Reposted by Drew
Oh, you love me? Name 3 of my inner demons
November 13, 2024 at 2:36 PM
Oh, you love me? Name 3 of my inner demons
Reposted by Drew
We were so focused on 1984 that we forgot about Animal Farm
January 19, 2026 at 2:16 AM
We were so focused on 1984 that we forgot about Animal Farm
Reposted by Drew
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
January 19, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
Who up early popping their tarts?
January 19, 2026 at 11:42 AM
Who up early popping their tarts?
Reposted by Drew
Billionaires just don't go for rides in imploding submersibles like they used to
January 18, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Billionaires just don't go for rides in imploding submersibles like they used to
Reposted by Drew
Going to bed simply because being awake has lost its luster
January 16, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Going to bed simply because being awake has lost its luster
Reposted by Drew
Thank you for the invite but no, I don’t go outside anymore
January 18, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Thank you for the invite but no, I don’t go outside anymore
Reposted by Drew
If I didn't criticize you how would you know I care..wink
January 18, 2026 at 3:23 AM
If I didn't criticize you how would you know I care..wink
Reposted by Drew
I accidentally asked for serum instead of syrup and now I can’t lie, these pancakes are the BOMB.
January 17, 2026 at 9:40 PM
I accidentally asked for serum instead of syrup and now I can’t lie, these pancakes are the BOMB.
Reposted by Drew
sure we’re all spiritual beings but we still have to poop
January 17, 2026 at 10:23 PM
sure we’re all spiritual beings but we still have to poop
Reposted by Drew
A marriage license should require a demonstration of whether that person can close a resealable bag of shredded cheese
January 17, 2026 at 10:31 PM
A marriage license should require a demonstration of whether that person can close a resealable bag of shredded cheese
Hot take: Minnesota should secede and join Greenland. They’re already used to the cold.
January 18, 2026 at 3:39 AM
Hot take: Minnesota should secede and join Greenland. They’re already used to the cold.
Reposted by Drew
Guys, my buddy just told me that we’re all going to die one day. Like everyone. Have you heard anything about this? That can’t be true right?
January 17, 2026 at 11:57 PM
Guys, my buddy just told me that we’re all going to die one day. Like everyone. Have you heard anything about this? That can’t be true right?