Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
I don’t have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
Pinned
Drew
@dmc1138.bsky.social
· Nov 12
Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?"
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Well at least 2026 should be bet-oh for fuck’s sake.
January 4, 2026 at 4:09 AM
Well at least 2026 should be bet-oh for fuck’s sake.
Sure sex is good and all, but have you ever bought new luggage?
January 2, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Sure sex is good and all, but have you ever bought new luggage?
Reposted by Drew
we need a Disney princess who’s ready to throw down against other Disney princesses
January 2, 2026 at 7:31 PM
we need a Disney princess who’s ready to throw down against other Disney princesses
Reposted by Drew
My SIL and I decided (while drinking mimosas on New Year's Day, mind you) that since black cats with little white chest spots aren't "tuxedos," we are going to refer to her cat as "business casual."
January 11, 2025 at 7:40 PM
My SIL and I decided (while drinking mimosas on New Year's Day, mind you) that since black cats with little white chest spots aren't "tuxedos," we are going to refer to her cat as "business casual."
Reposted by Drew
[sees toddler having complete meltdown on subway]
me: i mean, he's not fucking wrong.
me: i mean, he's not fucking wrong.
December 30, 2025 at 4:46 PM
[sees toddler having complete meltdown on subway]
me: i mean, he's not fucking wrong.
me: i mean, he's not fucking wrong.
Reposted by Drew
not to brag but I’ve only had one hangover this year
January 1, 2026 at 6:32 PM
not to brag but I’ve only had one hangover this year
Reposted by Drew
if you’re into risk takers, I just washed champagne flutes while acutely hungover
January 2, 2026 at 2:54 PM
if you’re into risk takers, I just washed champagne flutes while acutely hungover
Reposted by Drew
"New year, new me", I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods
December 31, 2025 at 6:59 PM
"New year, new me", I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods
Reposted by Drew
Was going to start my paleo diet today but Whole Foods was out of brontosaurus.
January 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Was going to start my paleo diet today but Whole Foods was out of brontosaurus.
🎶 That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight losin’ my car keys 🎶
January 2, 2026 at 11:18 PM
🎶 That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight losin’ my car keys 🎶
Reposted by Drew
oh well, there’s always 2027
January 2, 2026 at 11:05 PM
oh well, there’s always 2027
Reposted by Drew
Might go to therapy this year, might throw a tennis ball against a wall for a few months it’s a tossup really
January 2, 2026 at 12:34 AM
Might go to therapy this year, might throw a tennis ball against a wall for a few months it’s a tossup really
Reposted by Drew
*opens beer* A dry what now?
January 2, 2026 at 10:22 PM
*opens beer* A dry what now?
Reposted by Drew
now here is something
i think youll really enjoy
[stops talking forever]
i think youll really enjoy
[stops talking forever]
January 2, 2026 at 11:09 PM
now here is something
i think youll really enjoy
[stops talking forever]
i think youll really enjoy
[stops talking forever]
Reposted by Drew
Old habits die screaming.
January 2, 2026 at 9:17 PM
Old habits die screaming.
I wonder if I still have the high score on Ms. Pac-Man at the Pizza Hut back home.
January 2, 2026 at 11:08 PM
I wonder if I still have the high score on Ms. Pac-Man at the Pizza Hut back home.
You don't have to be drunk on New Year's Eve to know the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne”, but it sure helps.
December 31, 2025 at 9:13 PM
You don't have to be drunk on New Year's Eve to know the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne”, but it sure helps.
Reposted by Drew
Life is what happens to you while you're folding laundry.
December 29, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Life is what happens to you while you're folding laundry.
Reposted by Drew
death is proof good things happen to bad people
December 29, 2025 at 4:54 PM
death is proof good things happen to bad people
Reposted by Drew
The only way to nonviolently resolve conflict is secretly recording the other person saying the truth and then playing that recording for everyone else… preferably in a public setting that embarrasses the person.
December 29, 2025 at 5:13 PM
The only way to nonviolently resolve conflict is secretly recording the other person saying the truth and then playing that recording for everyone else… preferably in a public setting that embarrasses the person.
Reposted by Drew
Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
December 29, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
Reposted by Drew
a hug from your therapist is called a shrinkwrap
December 29, 2025 at 5:16 PM
a hug from your therapist is called a shrinkwrap
Reposted by Drew
Gen X rawdogging is sending a fax without a cover letter
December 29, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Gen X rawdogging is sending a fax without a cover letter
Thinking about becoming one of the mega rich.
December 29, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Thinking about becoming one of the mega rich.