Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
Pinned
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
If someone gets hurt in a peekaboo accident you take them to the ICU
February 19, 2026 at 1:30 AM
If someone gets hurt in a peekaboo accident you take them to the ICU
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Told the wife to make me a honey-do list of everything she can think of and I’ll get to all of it February 29-30
February 19, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Told the wife to make me a honey-do list of everything she can think of and I’ll get to all of it February 29-30
I live below my means, but I try to rise above my standard deviations.
February 19, 2026 at 1:27 PM
I live below my means, but I try to rise above my standard deviations.
Credit bureau: you have exceptional credit due to a very low debt load
Also credit bureau: here are loans, credit cards and other debt that you qualify for
Also credit bureau: here are loans, credit cards and other debt that you qualify for
February 19, 2026 at 1:26 PM
Credit bureau: you have exceptional credit due to a very low debt load
Also credit bureau: here are loans, credit cards and other debt that you qualify for
Also credit bureau: here are loans, credit cards and other debt that you qualify for
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
I named my puppy Kurt Cobain. He knows sit, shake, roll over, and come as you are
February 18, 2026 at 10:22 PM
I named my puppy Kurt Cobain. He knows sit, shake, roll over, and come as you are
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Sorry, I can’t. I have plans to not do that thing.
February 19, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Sorry, I can’t. I have plans to not do that thing.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Don't make me count the
syllables and turn this in
to a haiku, bitch.
syllables and turn this in
to a haiku, bitch.
February 18, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Don't make me count the
syllables and turn this in
to a haiku, bitch.
syllables and turn this in
to a haiku, bitch.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Going well in the ‘replies no-one understands’ event today. Currently in first.
February 15, 2026 at 9:53 AM
Going well in the ‘replies no-one understands’ event today. Currently in first.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Just making my fusion signature dish. Cheese AND toast.
February 15, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Just making my fusion signature dish. Cheese AND toast.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
If I ever have an out-of-body experience, I’m going to do my best to go back into the body of a much wealthier person.
February 18, 2026 at 1:07 PM
If I ever have an out-of-body experience, I’m going to do my best to go back into the body of a much wealthier person.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Watching a French thing and basically they are like us but with more scarves.
January 9, 2026 at 12:09 PM
Watching a French thing and basically they are like us but with more scarves.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
"Scuttlebutt" is oddly not a euphemism for "wrecking that ass"
February 15, 2026 at 7:42 PM
"Scuttlebutt" is oddly not a euphemism for "wrecking that ass"
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
“proceed to check out” ? already there , thanks 😩
February 18, 2026 at 1:41 PM
“proceed to check out” ? already there , thanks 😩
Either it stops sucking or it starts sucking...
February 17, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Either it stops sucking or it starts sucking...
I have two main types of coworkers: checked out and prickly gatekeepers.
February 17, 2026 at 4:10 PM
I have two main types of coworkers: checked out and prickly gatekeepers.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Thanks to Ozempic, Fat Tuesday lost 16% of its body weight since last year.
February 17, 2026 at 1:32 PM
Thanks to Ozempic, Fat Tuesday lost 16% of its body weight since last year.
Fuck it, I am cashing out my retirement, filling a kiddie pool with one dollar bills and swimming in money for once in my life.
February 17, 2026 at 2:35 PM
Fuck it, I am cashing out my retirement, filling a kiddie pool with one dollar bills and swimming in money for once in my life.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
A looney toons ski jump event at the winter olympics where they take off, stop in mid air, look down, peddle their legs frantically and then pull out a sign saying "help" before plummeting to the ground.
February 17, 2026 at 2:29 PM
A looney toons ski jump event at the winter olympics where they take off, stop in mid air, look down, peddle their legs frantically and then pull out a sign saying "help" before plummeting to the ground.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
If you keep your nose to the grindstone you’ll sharpen your senses.
February 17, 2026 at 1:33 PM
If you keep your nose to the grindstone you’ll sharpen your senses.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Me at work: I've gotta remember to do all the things when I get home.
Me at home:
Me at work the next day: I've gotta remember... well, fuck.
Me at home:
Me at work the next day: I've gotta remember... well, fuck.
February 16, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Me at work: I've gotta remember to do all the things when I get home.
Me at home:
Me at work the next day: I've gotta remember... well, fuck.
Me at home:
Me at work the next day: I've gotta remember... well, fuck.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
The bulk shopping members only warehouse runs out of samples
Panic! At the Costco!
Panic! At the Costco!
February 16, 2026 at 8:44 PM
The bulk shopping members only warehouse runs out of samples
Panic! At the Costco!
Panic! At the Costco!
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
This trail mix is called “Island Escape” but I’ve eaten 13 servings and nothing yet
February 17, 2026 at 3:07 AM
This trail mix is called “Island Escape” but I’ve eaten 13 servings and nothing yet
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Everything is a private joke if you don’t get it.
February 16, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Everything is a private joke if you don’t get it.
My partner's adult children are in a huge conflict over which one is the center of the universe.
February 16, 2026 at 4:32 PM
My partner's adult children are in a huge conflict over which one is the center of the universe.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
A guy was wearing a black shirt over a white one. I mistook him for a priest and he was ill equipped to handle my confession.
February 16, 2026 at 3:26 PM
A guy was wearing a black shirt over a white one. I mistook him for a priest and he was ill equipped to handle my confession.