Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
1. Be excellent to each other
2. Party on dudes
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My Worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaaawyfc7givy
2. Party on dudes
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My Worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaaawyfc7givy
Pinned
Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
· Apr 5
"Your laugh is like a sunset," I say right before I nail gun my hand to the frame of a revolving door
Reposted by Chestbursty
if I came face to face with a megalodon, i would just punch it in the nose, simple as. "oh i'm big shark" shut the fuck up.
December 3, 2024 at 7:23 PM
if I came face to face with a megalodon, i would just punch it in the nose, simple as. "oh i'm big shark" shut the fuck up.
Reposted by Chestbursty
I learned some things growing up with The Simpsons.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
November 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I learned some things growing up with The Simpsons.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Some stuff, man.
Some things.
Reposted by Chestbursty
My most toxic trait is that when I am really stoned at night I'm convinced I can do things without turning the lights on when I almost never can
November 11, 2025 at 2:46 AM
My most toxic trait is that when I am really stoned at night I'm convinced I can do things without turning the lights on when I almost never can
Reposted by Chestbursty
cracking open a tall boy who’s a cold one
November 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
cracking open a tall boy who’s a cold one
Reposted by Chestbursty
formula one but all the cars are the fuck truck from titanic
November 9, 2025 at 1:10 AM
formula one but all the cars are the fuck truck from titanic
Reposted by Chestbursty
They say 73% of all internet traffic is the result of bots engaging in malicious activities, so my bearded clam tweets are directed at only 27% of you
November 8, 2025 at 6:05 PM
They say 73% of all internet traffic is the result of bots engaging in malicious activities, so my bearded clam tweets are directed at only 27% of you
Reposted by Chestbursty
I've been changing my avi one pixel at a time for 2 years
November 8, 2025 at 8:49 PM
I've been changing my avi one pixel at a time for 2 years
Reposted by Chestbursty
“Biblical Stud McNeese? Biblical Stud McNeese … LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.”
“A dangerous pastime.”
“I know.”
“A dangerous pastime.”
“I know.”
1776 huh? 🇺🇲
November 11, 2025 at 2:29 AM
“Biblical Stud McNeese? Biblical Stud McNeese … LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.”
“A dangerous pastime.”
“I know.”
“A dangerous pastime.”
“I know.”
Reposted by Chestbursty
Listen, we didn't ask for a hot and sensitive Frankenstein monster but we certainly deserved one.
November 9, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Listen, we didn't ask for a hot and sensitive Frankenstein monster but we certainly deserved one.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Say what you will about negotiating our own healthcare but I’ve got a guy who’ll do my colonoscopy for only 5k if I don’t go with the full anesthesia package
November 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Say what you will about negotiating our own healthcare but I’ve got a guy who’ll do my colonoscopy for only 5k if I don’t go with the full anesthesia package
Reposted by Chestbursty
ME: i have teen-like reflexes
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
November 10, 2025 at 7:15 PM
ME: i have teen-like reflexes
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
Reposted by Chestbursty
Sometimes what the doctor ordered is a nice lil beige meal
November 10, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Sometimes what the doctor ordered is a nice lil beige meal
Reposted by Chestbursty
As a Mass guy, I envy the way the word ‘holler’ rolls off the tongue of someone from West Virginia or Kentucky. Up here, we say ‘a chucklefuck just left the packie and whipped 10 losing scratch tickets into the ditch – or holler – next to the Dunks’
November 10, 2025 at 7:24 PM
As a Mass guy, I envy the way the word ‘holler’ rolls off the tongue of someone from West Virginia or Kentucky. Up here, we say ‘a chucklefuck just left the packie and whipped 10 losing scratch tickets into the ditch – or holler – next to the Dunks’
Reposted by Chestbursty
Normally I’d say I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member but I’ll make an easy exception for inclusion in @ennuidoofen.bsky.social ‘s collection of the shittiest posters in the world (flirting)
🥰
🥰
November 10, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Normally I’d say I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member but I’ll make an easy exception for inclusion in @ennuidoofen.bsky.social ‘s collection of the shittiest posters in the world (flirting)
🥰
🥰
Reposted by Chestbursty
I did quite enjoy the new Frankenstein, if you even care
November 9, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I did quite enjoy the new Frankenstein, if you even care
Reposted by Chestbursty
spicy lasagna goes so hard. spicy spaghetti? yes please.
November 11, 2025 at 1:25 AM
spicy lasagna goes so hard. spicy spaghetti? yes please.
Reposted by Chestbursty
I met a man named Christian who wasn't religious, but he was a big Alanis Morissette fan.
November 11, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I met a man named Christian who wasn't religious, but he was a big Alanis Morissette fan.
Reposted by Chestbursty
As a small business owner, over the years, I have narrowed down my vendors to only companies that send me small pieces of candy with every order. #priorities
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
As a small business owner, over the years, I have narrowed down my vendors to only companies that send me small pieces of candy with every order. #priorities
Reposted by Chestbursty
if you’re mad at a canadian start some shit about anne of green gables
November 10, 2025 at 9:40 PM
if you’re mad at a canadian start some shit about anne of green gables
Reposted by Chestbursty
10 minute notifications are a great way to warn ADHD folks that they're gonna be late to a meeting in 11 minutes
April 3, 2025 at 7:27 PM
10 minute notifications are a great way to warn ADHD folks that they're gonna be late to a meeting in 11 minutes
Mashup of the old Tresemme commercials with Michael J Fox in Back to the Future II exclaiming "Ooh la la," this has been on my video meme editing to-do list for years and it's time for someone with more energy to make it happen
November 10, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Mashup of the old Tresemme commercials with Michael J Fox in Back to the Future II exclaiming "Ooh la la," this has been on my video meme editing to-do list for years and it's time for someone with more energy to make it happen
Reposted by Chestbursty
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
Reposted by Chestbursty
as a kid I honestly thought that the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was about something that happened in the 1800s, dying in a maritime disaster on Lake Superior just does not seem like the kind of thing that can happen to people who heard Supertramp on the radio
November 10, 2025 at 8:39 PM
as a kid I honestly thought that the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was about something that happened in the 1800s, dying in a maritime disaster on Lake Superior just does not seem like the kind of thing that can happen to people who heard Supertramp on the radio
Reposted by Chestbursty
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.
November 10, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.