Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
Pinned
I am color blind, so Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Hudson, and Jennifer Aniston all look like Jennifer Grey to me.
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a six year gap in my résumé that just says “i fought the law and the law won”
November 11, 2025 at 3:15 AM
a six year gap in my résumé that just says “i fought the law and the law won”
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Don’t make me per my last email you
November 10, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Don’t make me per my last email you
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Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Used a person’s name for a piece of a password but now that person has died so every time I sign in it’s a tiny tribute
November 8, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Used a person’s name for a piece of a password but now that person has died so every time I sign in it’s a tiny tribute
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You call me old-fashioned, I call me vintage. We're not the same.
November 11, 2025 at 12:56 PM
You call me old-fashioned, I call me vintage. We're not the same.
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I have a junk food problem. I don't have any . . .
November 11, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I have a junk food problem. I don't have any . . .
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“i am tired of being silenced” says the person who literally can’t shut up
November 11, 2025 at 4:12 PM
“i am tired of being silenced” says the person who literally can’t shut up
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how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed
November 11, 2025 at 12:26 AM
how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed
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gonna start a podcast where i just sigh a lot
November 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
gonna start a podcast where i just sigh a lot
The Bionic Man implies the existence of The Straightonic Man
November 11, 2025 at 1:10 AM
The Bionic Man implies the existence of The Straightonic Man
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Jalen Hurts, but he’s still starting tonight
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Jalen Hurts, but he’s still starting tonight
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I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
November 20, 2024 at 2:39 PM
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
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Years ago in England, J gently mocked me for really enjoying the dishes of stewed prunes that often came with breakfast. Now, she enjoys adding water to some prunes and microwaving them for a minute. But don't point out what she's making or she gets real mad.
November 11, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Years ago in England, J gently mocked me for really enjoying the dishes of stewed prunes that often came with breakfast. Now, she enjoys adding water to some prunes and microwaving them for a minute. But don't point out what she's making or she gets real mad.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
Me: Why were my tests so expensive?
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
November 10, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Me: Why were my tests so expensive?
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
I swear to god there must be a neurotransmitter that provides feelings of pleasure from doing or saying the stupidest shit. When they discover it, it must be named derpamine
November 10, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I swear to god there must be a neurotransmitter that provides feelings of pleasure from doing or saying the stupidest shit. When they discover it, it must be named derpamine
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What's it like to have friends?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
November 10, 2025 at 9:54 PM
What's it like to have friends?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
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what if u exploded a dracula then sowed a flesh hunk onto a frankenstein what then
November 10, 2025 at 11:15 PM
what if u exploded a dracula then sowed a flesh hunk onto a frankenstein what then
I start my first meal of the day around 8 am and finish around 10 am, I call it breakslow
November 10, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I start my first meal of the day around 8 am and finish around 10 am, I call it breakslow
As a diet hack, I have a protein-packed greek yogurt whenever I feel like a snack.
Now I need a hack for what do to with 30 empty yogurt containers every night.
Now I need a hack for what do to with 30 empty yogurt containers every night.
November 10, 2025 at 10:55 PM
As a diet hack, I have a protein-packed greek yogurt whenever I feel like a snack.
Now I need a hack for what do to with 30 empty yogurt containers every night.
Now I need a hack for what do to with 30 empty yogurt containers every night.
Reposted by Eric Replatformed
All of my bad food decisions end with me saying, “Well, if I just eat it all now, that’ll get it out of the house & will no longer be a temptation.”
Looking at you, pecan pie. 👀
Looking at you, pecan pie. 👀
November 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
All of my bad food decisions end with me saying, “Well, if I just eat it all now, that’ll get it out of the house & will no longer be a temptation.”
Looking at you, pecan pie. 👀
Looking at you, pecan pie. 👀
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I'm fed up with golf and am incinerating my clubs. First I burned my woods and now I've got a lot of irons in the fire.
November 3, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I'm fed up with golf and am incinerating my clubs. First I burned my woods and now I've got a lot of irons in the fire.
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Applying for my dream job in a sleep clinic.
November 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Applying for my dream job in a sleep clinic.
The first snow FALL of the year because winter is still 6-7 weeks away.
November 10, 2025 at 1:23 PM
The first snow FALL of the year because winter is still 6-7 weeks away.
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One of the skills I put on my resume was the ability to keenly observe other people working.
November 10, 2025 at 1:14 PM
One of the skills I put on my resume was the ability to keenly observe other people working.
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How dare you alter the sacred lyrics to Itsy Bitsy Spider for a commercial about itchy, itchy skin, you greedy, greedy drug company
November 10, 2025 at 2:32 AM
How dare you alter the sacred lyrics to Itsy Bitsy Spider for a commercial about itchy, itchy skin, you greedy, greedy drug company