FRIEND: *eating* soda crackers aren’t too bad.
ME: well, some of us are ok I guess.
ME: well, some of us are ok I guess.
January 19, 2026 at 6:26 PM
FRIEND: *eating* soda crackers aren’t too bad.
ME: well, some of us are ok I guess.
ME: well, some of us are ok I guess.
Reposted by Little Greenis
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
January 19, 2026 at 4:32 AM
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
Gonna try a new pun on for sighs.
January 19, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Gonna try a new pun on for sighs.
Reposted by Little Greenis
“Sorry, I have to take this call."
"That's a banana. And it's half eaten."
*covers banana with hand
"I don't tell you how to do business."
"That's a banana. And it's half eaten."
*covers banana with hand
"I don't tell you how to do business."
September 4, 2023 at 9:56 PM
“Sorry, I have to take this call."
"That's a banana. And it's half eaten."
*covers banana with hand
"I don't tell you how to do business."
"That's a banana. And it's half eaten."
*covers banana with hand
"I don't tell you how to do business."
You’ll never convince me this piece of popcorn is a colonel.
January 17, 2026 at 3:06 PM
You’ll never convince me this piece of popcorn is a colonel.
Reposted by Little Greenis
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
December 21, 2025 at 5:28 AM
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
Kinda bullshit that only Phils get their own harmonic orchestras.
January 15, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Kinda bullshit that only Phils get their own harmonic orchestras.
Reposted by Little Greenis
This kinda sucks because I was well prepared to kick ass in a post apocalyptic hellscape in my 20s and now that I'm in my 50s I'm only suited to be a maniac warlord or reclusive enigmatic hermit who'll only help the resistance if they can convince me their motives are pure
August 3, 2025 at 9:43 PM
This kinda sucks because I was well prepared to kick ass in a post apocalyptic hellscape in my 20s and now that I'm in my 50s I'm only suited to be a maniac warlord or reclusive enigmatic hermit who'll only help the resistance if they can convince me their motives are pure
Reposted by Little Greenis
i pause in the middle of the street fight, only to eat a handful of candy corn and then return to fighting, noticeably more powerful
September 30, 2024 at 9:06 PM
i pause in the middle of the street fight, only to eat a handful of candy corn and then return to fighting, noticeably more powerful
[burglar breaks into my home]
ME *recently started taking karate*: Hey asshole! Hold this board.
ME *recently started taking karate*: Hey asshole! Hold this board.
January 14, 2026 at 4:29 PM
[burglar breaks into my home]
ME *recently started taking karate*: Hey asshole! Hold this board.
ME *recently started taking karate*: Hey asshole! Hold this board.
People all over the world fighting for land and bananas somehow have their own republic.
January 13, 2026 at 2:12 PM
People all over the world fighting for land and bananas somehow have their own republic.
Stopped ingesting microplastics, this year I’m only eating macroplastics.
January 11, 2026 at 9:38 PM
Stopped ingesting microplastics, this year I’m only eating macroplastics.
Once again a chick magnet has thrown off my chick compass.
January 11, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Once again a chick magnet has thrown off my chick compass.
In heaven, all pubs have a post to lean on beside every urinal.
January 10, 2026 at 5:20 PM
In heaven, all pubs have a post to lean on beside every urinal.
If you solve these riddles three, you may try one piece of brie.
January 2, 2026 at 2:49 PM
If you solve these riddles three, you may try one piece of brie.
Reposted by Little Greenis
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.
June 2, 2025 at 4:33 AM
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.
Reposted by Little Greenis
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
January 1, 2026 at 2:35 PM
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
If there are no Caucasian animals then explain Animal Crackers.
January 1, 2026 at 7:30 PM
If there are no Caucasian animals then explain Animal Crackers.
Reposted by Little Greenis
Fuck it I don’t care anymore
January 1, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Fuck it I don’t care anymore
Reposted by Little Greenis
New Year’s resolutions:
1) Eat healthier
2) Spend more time outdoors
3) Escape from the research facility
1) Eat healthier
2) Spend more time outdoors
3) Escape from the research facility
January 1, 2025 at 3:42 PM
New Year’s resolutions:
1) Eat healthier
2) Spend more time outdoors
3) Escape from the research facility
1) Eat healthier
2) Spend more time outdoors
3) Escape from the research facility
Reposted by Little Greenis
child custody rap battle
January 10, 2025 at 11:44 PM
child custody rap battle
Whatever, I’ve had fancier feasts.
January 1, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Whatever, I’ve had fancier feasts.
Your honour, I was driving a trailblazer, I was simply blazing a new trail.
JUDGE: you drove through a petting zoo.
JUDGE: you drove through a petting zoo.
December 30, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Your honour, I was driving a trailblazer, I was simply blazing a new trail.
JUDGE: you drove through a petting zoo.
JUDGE: you drove through a petting zoo.
Reposted by Little Greenis
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
December 30, 2025 at 4:44 PM
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
Reposted by Little Greenis
“eating well” lol have you heard of vitamins
December 30, 2025 at 4:01 PM
“eating well” lol have you heard of vitamins