Dave Cactus
@davecactus.bsky.social
Bass player, photographer, and all around cool cat.
Avatar, or profile pic, by @frovo.bsky.social.
Here is a link to all of my posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaakkr4gr2af4
Avatar, or profile pic, by @frovo.bsky.social.
Here is a link to all of my posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaakkr4gr2af4
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Reposted by Dave Cactus
AHEM. I repeat: I did it all for the nookie.
.
.
.
Unless, of course, there is gnocchi, in which case I did it for the gnocchi.
.
.
.
Unless, of course, there is gnocchi, in which case I did it for the gnocchi.
February 14, 2025 at 12:51 AM
AHEM. I repeat: I did it all for the nookie.
.
.
.
Unless, of course, there is gnocchi, in which case I did it for the gnocchi.
.
.
.
Unless, of course, there is gnocchi, in which case I did it for the gnocchi.
Reposted by Dave Cactus
2026 starts with rent being due? Bad sign, man
January 1, 2026 at 6:34 PM
2026 starts with rent being due? Bad sign, man
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Australian in 2020: “Oh Naur I have-“
December 28, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Australian in 2020: “Oh Naur I have-“
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Licensed to stay still
April 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Licensed to stay still
Reposted by Dave Cactus
you’re never more than 10 feet away from someone texting “lol” with a completely expressionless face
September 24, 2025 at 7:50 PM
you’re never more than 10 feet away from someone texting “lol” with a completely expressionless face
Reposted by Dave Cactus
I bet owls love being in cahoots
June 21, 2025 at 5:12 AM
I bet owls love being in cahoots
Reposted by Dave Cactus
*covering my posts in melted chocolate like the delectable treats they are*
January 1, 2026 at 11:06 PM
*covering my posts in melted chocolate like the delectable treats they are*
It's a night of bangers. Send me your favorite so I can share it with everyone.
January 2, 2026 at 2:09 AM
It's a night of bangers. Send me your favorite so I can share it with everyone.
Reposted by Dave Cactus
With a little effort, this year is a perfect opportunity to seamlessly transform from arm candy to arm cactus.
January 1, 2026 at 6:50 PM
With a little effort, this year is a perfect opportunity to seamlessly transform from arm candy to arm cactus.
Reposted by Dave Cactus
i just made this amazing dish: meatballs & spaghetti it’s exactly like spaghetti & meatballs but it’s meatballs & spaghetti !
January 1, 2026 at 11:29 PM
i just made this amazing dish: meatballs & spaghetti it’s exactly like spaghetti & meatballs but it’s meatballs & spaghetti !
[to the tune of Old MacDonald]
GROK is not a human being. What a Crok of shit
January 2, 2026 at 1:51 AM
[to the tune of Old MacDonald]
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Why is my Pornography Box making this strange sound?
Wife: That's your phone. Your dentist is calling you.
*Astonished* I have a dentist?!
Wife: That's your phone. Your dentist is calling you.
*Astonished* I have a dentist?!
October 24, 2024 at 7:09 PM
Why is my Pornography Box making this strange sound?
Wife: That's your phone. Your dentist is calling you.
*Astonished* I have a dentist?!
Wife: That's your phone. Your dentist is calling you.
*Astonished* I have a dentist?!
The War On Drugs
(Simple and functional.)
On, Drugs! The War!
(A line from the chapter in Santa's life where he and the now missing 9th reindeer, Drugs, perform a terrific air attack on the enemy.)
War On The Drugs
(Fire in the sky.)
(Simple and functional.)
On, Drugs! The War!
(A line from the chapter in Santa's life where he and the now missing 9th reindeer, Drugs, perform a terrific air attack on the enemy.)
War On The Drugs
(Fire in the sky.)
January 2, 2026 at 1:22 AM
The War On Drugs
(Simple and functional.)
On, Drugs! The War!
(A line from the chapter in Santa's life where he and the now missing 9th reindeer, Drugs, perform a terrific air attack on the enemy.)
War On The Drugs
(Fire in the sky.)
(Simple and functional.)
On, Drugs! The War!
(A line from the chapter in Santa's life where he and the now missing 9th reindeer, Drugs, perform a terrific air attack on the enemy.)
War On The Drugs
(Fire in the sky.)
Reposted by Dave Cactus
my friends on Instagram know that i have recently become obsessed with Bibendum, the early incarnation of the Michelin man who was a big, fat, kind, cigar chomping, hard partying dynamo
June 18, 2025 at 4:16 PM
my friends on Instagram know that i have recently become obsessed with Bibendum, the early incarnation of the Michelin man who was a big, fat, kind, cigar chomping, hard partying dynamo
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Nothing comes out of these water jets but lies and insinuations. Why did I buy a j'accuzzi?
December 31, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Nothing comes out of these water jets but lies and insinuations. Why did I buy a j'accuzzi?
Reposted by Dave Cactus
The first wrinkle-free shirt was introduced in 1953. Remarkably, it didn't get any press.
December 31, 2025 at 9:30 PM
The first wrinkle-free shirt was introduced in 1953. Remarkably, it didn't get any press.
Talk to me, Goose...
[inside]
...about the feelings of loss you're experiencing and what you're going through.
[inside]
...about the feelings of loss you're experiencing and what you're going through.
January 2, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Talk to me, Goose...
[inside]
...about the feelings of loss you're experiencing and what you're going through.
[inside]
...about the feelings of loss you're experiencing and what you're going through.
Reposted by Dave Cactus
"if I pronounce a word wrong, it's because I learned it by reading," I say through tears as my wife's step son roundly mocks me for saying "The Wizard of Ounce"
December 30, 2025 at 11:25 PM
"if I pronounce a word wrong, it's because I learned it by reading," I say through tears as my wife's step son roundly mocks me for saying "The Wizard of Ounce"
Reposted by Dave Cactus
anyone who says people aren’t born racist hasn’t met my racist baby.
December 31, 2025 at 2:53 AM
anyone who says people aren’t born racist hasn’t met my racist baby.
🔊 4'33" (Kidz Bop version)
December 31, 2025 at 8:11 AM
🔊 4'33" (Kidz Bop version)
Reposted by Dave Cactus
shel silverstein was a prophet
December 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
shel silverstein was a prophet
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Credit card sales rep: you'll get double miles on all purchases, incredible deals on flights and hotels, and plenty of other great benefits!
Me: sounds good. but, what happens if I miss a payment?
Credit card sales rep, suddenly with dark countenance: you don't want to do that. no sir. no no no
Me: sounds good. but, what happens if I miss a payment?
Credit card sales rep, suddenly with dark countenance: you don't want to do that. no sir. no no no
December 27, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Credit card sales rep: you'll get double miles on all purchases, incredible deals on flights and hotels, and plenty of other great benefits!
Me: sounds good. but, what happens if I miss a payment?
Credit card sales rep, suddenly with dark countenance: you don't want to do that. no sir. no no no
Me: sounds good. but, what happens if I miss a payment?
Credit card sales rep, suddenly with dark countenance: you don't want to do that. no sir. no no no
Reposted by Dave Cactus
Modern child: NO I wanted the other iPad
Victorian child; thank you for the orange
Victorian child; thank you for the orange
December 15, 2024 at 8:38 PM
Modern child: NO I wanted the other iPad
Victorian child; thank you for the orange
Victorian child; thank you for the orange