Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
5. john malkovich has a ridiculous accent
4. ordinary neighbor turns out to be jason statham
3. something bad is happening on a submarine
2. temporal pincer movement
1. the pope has an exorcist
5. Innocent man, wrongly accused
4. Thoughtful monologues on the inevitable forward march of time
3. Catherine O'Hara day-drinking
2. Michael Keaton thinking and talking fast
1. STOP THE PRESSES
5. Families, eh? But French!
4. It's great to be gay
3. Say hello to my little friend
2. I am so depressed, let me just wander around in the world's most gorgeous scenery while I regret everything
1. Underappreciated woman gets justice at last (sexually)
5. john malkovich has a ridiculous accent
4. ordinary neighbor turns out to be jason statham
3. something bad is happening on a submarine
2. temporal pincer movement
1. the pope has an exorcist