Amy Ash
@lolennui.bsky.social
contributing features and headlines @ the onion
amyash.me
amyash.me
Pinned
Amy Ash
@lolennui.bsky.social
· 28d
Starting to contribute more stuff at The Onion but I’m looking for assistant work in comedy. Please let me know of any assistant work or writing submission opportunities in that area! I’d love to get to New York eventually. Email is on my website amyash.me, or DM here.
Same dog, her whole thing is playing it cool
November 11, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Same dog, her whole thing is playing it cool
I just started Ripley and it’s a B&W photographer’s dream
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I just started Ripley and it’s a B&W photographer’s dream
my hound is helping me look for the yarn thief
November 11, 2025 at 1:52 AM
my hound is helping me look for the yarn thief
I recently graduated from making beer money from my writing to “used camera money” so I bought one of these on eBay
November 10, 2025 at 8:58 PM
I recently graduated from making beer money from my writing to “used camera money” so I bought one of these on eBay
Reposted by Amy Ash
lol she got his ass and he knows it
November 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
lol she got his ass and he knows it
how it feels telling jokes on threads
November 10, 2025 at 3:59 AM
how it feels telling jokes on threads
CNN is showing me dem senators explaining their capitulation to republicans instead of Tony Shalhoub eating bread, the whole damn system is rotten
November 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
CNN is showing me dem senators explaining their capitulation to republicans instead of Tony Shalhoub eating bread, the whole damn system is rotten
lol if you thought people were acting insane on airplanes before
November 9, 2025 at 9:06 PM
lol if you thought people were acting insane on airplanes before
I want 6 seasons of absolutely no answers, just progressively stockier character actors wrestling
November 9, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I want 6 seasons of absolutely no answers, just progressively stockier character actors wrestling
worried when i die someday in a morphine haze my last earthly thoughts will be “red ball maaarket global”
November 9, 2025 at 8:30 PM
worried when i die someday in a morphine haze my last earthly thoughts will be “red ball maaarket global”
devastating to learn that Hinge is what’s standing between me and being the aloof wife I was destined to be
November 8, 2025 at 6:43 AM
devastating to learn that Hinge is what’s standing between me and being the aloof wife I was destined to be
creature caught on film
November 8, 2025 at 6:02 AM
creature caught on film
Reposted by Amy Ash
please enjoy this video I took by accident while trying to swipe over to portrait mode left-handed
November 8, 2025 at 1:30 AM
please enjoy this video I took by accident while trying to swipe over to portrait mode left-handed
I’m having the ideal Friday night, joining the “carbing up” spaghetti dinner for a 5k I will not be running
November 8, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I’m having the ideal Friday night, joining the “carbing up” spaghetti dinner for a 5k I will not be running
Reposted by Amy Ash
I had a run in with ICE snatching a man out of his car while walking my children to school this morning in NW DC
I asked a neighbor to continue walking my kids to school and I turned back to document and confront the ICE agents.
I am in contact with @dcmigrantmutualaid.org with the full video.
I asked a neighbor to continue walking my kids to school and I turned back to document and confront the ICE agents.
I am in contact with @dcmigrantmutualaid.org with the full video.
November 6, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I had a run in with ICE snatching a man out of his car while walking my children to school this morning in NW DC
I asked a neighbor to continue walking my kids to school and I turned back to document and confront the ICE agents.
I am in contact with @dcmigrantmutualaid.org with the full video.
I asked a neighbor to continue walking my kids to school and I turned back to document and confront the ICE agents.
I am in contact with @dcmigrantmutualaid.org with the full video.
a man was just found not guilty by jury lollification
November 6, 2025 at 8:32 PM
a man was just found not guilty by jury lollification
“feminization of veterinary medicine” so true bestie, I heard it’s now common practice for veterinarians to castrate your pets
F*ck off.
Here's the latest drivel from our boy Ross. The 'too many female vets' part made by head explode.
"the feminization of veterinary medicine has not led to the collapse of society, and is unlikely to do so. I think it’s basically fine, but ——"
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/o...
Here's the latest drivel from our boy Ross. The 'too many female vets' part made by head explode.
"the feminization of veterinary medicine has not led to the collapse of society, and is unlikely to do so. I think it’s basically fine, but ——"
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/o...
Opinion | Did Liberal Feminism Ruin the Workplace?
www.nytimes.com
November 6, 2025 at 5:19 PM
“feminization of veterinary medicine” so true bestie, I heard it’s now common practice for veterinarians to castrate your pets
I hope the people who dig up our civilization take our satirical texts at face value like, “well it seems outlandish but it’s a contemporaneous account so it must be true”
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling
WASHINGTON—Expressing horror as an unidentified slimy substance dripped on her shoulder from above, White House maid Carla Ovares reportedly shrieked Tuesday after spotting first lady Melania Trump on...
theonion.com
November 6, 2025 at 6:19 AM
I hope the people who dig up our civilization take our satirical texts at face value like, “well it seems outlandish but it’s a contemporaneous account so it must be true”
I’m a werewolf but I just turn into a dachshund and go for a little stroll
November 6, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I’m a werewolf but I just turn into a dachshund and go for a little stroll
If someone could convince him the election results were JD Vance’s fault I don’t think it would help anything materially but it would be funny
November 6, 2025 at 12:13 AM
If someone could convince him the election results were JD Vance’s fault I don’t think it would help anything materially but it would be funny
I’m so happy right now I’m floating on air
The officer, defense says, was given and kept "not one but two gag gifts," including a plush sandwich and a "Felony Footlong" badge on his lunchbox.
November 5, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I’m so happy right now I’m floating on air
(watching Bridget Jones, a movie about a lady who has her own apartment in London zone 1) lol fucking loser
November 5, 2025 at 9:06 PM
(watching Bridget Jones, a movie about a lady who has her own apartment in London zone 1) lol fucking loser
Reposted by Amy Ash
Took my family to New York and saw Mrs. van Rhijn taking luncheon with a divorcee, you can’t convince me that crime isn’t up
August 12, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Took my family to New York and saw Mrs. van Rhijn taking luncheon with a divorcee, you can’t convince me that crime isn’t up
Reposted by Amy Ash
I like that republicans keep calling mamdani a “literal communist” because they’ve been calling everyone to the left of william mckinley a communist for a hundred years and they need to distinguish
November 5, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I like that republicans keep calling mamdani a “literal communist” because they’ve been calling everyone to the left of william mckinley a communist for a hundred years and they need to distinguish
Groupon lash extension salon
November 5, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Groupon lash extension salon