Robert Manchild
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robertmanchild.com
Robert Manchild
@robertmanchild.com
extremely online cpap enthusiast. 🏳️‍⚧️🧷

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 https://tinyurl.com/mr2ekn4r
𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 https://tinyurl.com/3af9yp69
𝗠𝘆 𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 https://tinyurl.com/yde7dbew
𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗸 https://tinyurl.com/yr4yusjh

🔗 robertmanchild.com
Pinned
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.

Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Reposted by Robert Manchild
Just one more week of managers using Winter Olympics metaphors. Yes, Jared from finance sure did clean the ice in front of the stone when he reconciled the Q1 balance sheet.
February 13, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Just one more week of managers using Winter Olympics metaphors. Yes, Jared from finance sure did clean the ice in front of the stone when he reconciled the Q1 balance sheet.
February 13, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
This town’s plenty big for the both of us. Get in here
February 12, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
November 25, 2024 at 1:03 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
Elon Musk when he realizes putting people on the moon is difficult: Within 10 years we will put humans in Delaware
February 10, 2026 at 1:26 AM
7 layer derp
February 9, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas
February 9, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
bad bunny already has more yards than the patriots
February 9, 2026 at 1:21 AM
My dental hygienist asked if I was going to watch the halftime show and I just said let’s not do this.
February 8, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
I call broccoli “tasty fractals”

HIBACHI CHEF: I heard you the 1st time.
November 24, 2024 at 7:06 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
This is the part in the movie of my life where I cut and dye my hair in a gas station sink.
March 22, 2024 at 1:47 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.

Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
January 9, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
“She says she doesn’t want to fuckin’ talk to you.”
July 2, 2023 at 4:33 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
[stagediving so I can ask how much longer]
December 5, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
I wonder if scientists will discover another sex number in our lifetime.
July 3, 2023 at 1:21 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
would it kill this platform to include a little "nice" animation any time you're the 69th like
February 3, 2026 at 7:47 PM
would it kill this platform to include a little "nice" animation any time you're the 69th like
February 3, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this
February 3, 2026 at 4:29 AM
[raises standing desk until my head softly crushes the ceiling tiles but unfortunately noggin is intact]
February 3, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
telling my adorable daughter i'm not putting the drawing she made on the fridge because it's toddlerslop
January 30, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Insurance should cover haircuts -
definitely certain haircuts
January 30, 2026 at 12:05 AM
Reposted by Robert Manchild
You need to stand out if you want to succeed in this economic landscape. Don’t just email your resume- write it on a brick and throw it through the CEO’s window
January 29, 2026 at 1:17 PM