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every time I see a video with Ariana Grande lately I'm worried she'll cough and snap in half
November 27, 2025 at 5:08 AM
every time I see a video with Ariana Grande lately I'm worried she'll cough and snap in half
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my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball
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Are we like this because we drank straight from the garden hose?
July 26, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Are we like this because we drank straight from the garden hose?
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Fuck it, they killed him live.
July 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Fuck it, they killed him live.
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This happened while Trump went golfing today
July 4, 2025 at 7:20 PM
This happened while Trump went golfing today
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ME: I thought Tom Jones was a dead English singer, but he’s alive and Welsh.
WIFE: You write some awful jokes.
ME: It’s not unusual.
WIFE: You write some awful jokes.
ME: It’s not unusual.
July 4, 2025 at 1:17 AM
ME: I thought Tom Jones was a dead English singer, but he’s alive and Welsh.
WIFE: You write some awful jokes.
ME: It’s not unusual.
WIFE: You write some awful jokes.
ME: It’s not unusual.
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NEW: A baby was removed from his parents following an abuse diagnosis but continued to develop new bruises in subsequent foster homes.
Yet, the child abuse specialist declined to change her diagnosis or do additional testing as the baby’s original doctor had advised.
By @jlussenhop.bsky.social
Yet, the child abuse specialist declined to change her diagnosis or do additional testing as the baby’s original doctor had advised.
By @jlussenhop.bsky.social
A Doctor Challenged the Opinion of a Powerful Child Abuse Specialist. Then He Lost His Job.
A Minneapolis pediatrician said he felt pressured to “fall in line” with child abuse specialist Dr. Nancy Harper and her team. Then he was given a choice: resign or be fired.
www.propublica.org
June 30, 2025 at 10:03 AM
NEW: A baby was removed from his parents following an abuse diagnosis but continued to develop new bruises in subsequent foster homes.
Yet, the child abuse specialist declined to change her diagnosis or do additional testing as the baby’s original doctor had advised.
By @jlussenhop.bsky.social
Yet, the child abuse specialist declined to change her diagnosis or do additional testing as the baby’s original doctor had advised.
By @jlussenhop.bsky.social
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If I'm guilty of anything, it's caring too much. And shoplifting
December 7, 2024 at 5:29 AM
If I'm guilty of anything, it's caring too much. And shoplifting
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Saying "Lincoln was a Republican" is like saying “Kevin Spacey won an Oscar.” Technically it’s true, but a lot of shit has happened since then
December 2, 2024 at 7:11 PM
Saying "Lincoln was a Republican" is like saying “Kevin Spacey won an Oscar.” Technically it’s true, but a lot of shit has happened since then
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Donald Trump is the most brilliant military strategist in our nation's history, but it's completely unfair to force him into a decision about Iran when he's in the midst of rolling out his new cell phone service. Another two weeks is more than reasonable.
by Marc Thiessen
by Marc Thiessen
June 20, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Donald Trump is the most brilliant military strategist in our nation's history, but it's completely unfair to force him into a decision about Iran when he's in the midst of rolling out his new cell phone service. Another two weeks is more than reasonable.
by Marc Thiessen
by Marc Thiessen
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My wife let me choose the restaurant last night. I had out narrowed my list down to two sushi spots before we settled on the perfect Italian restaurant.
June 19, 2025 at 8:23 PM
My wife let me choose the restaurant last night. I had out narrowed my list down to two sushi spots before we settled on the perfect Italian restaurant.
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Hahaha it's cute that we've reached the age of four hours of sleep interrupted with pee breaks is considered a good night
June 19, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Hahaha it's cute that we've reached the age of four hours of sleep interrupted with pee breaks is considered a good night
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A couple of the M&M's I ate off of my shirt were buttons.
June 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
A couple of the M&M's I ate off of my shirt were buttons.
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Just an insomniac and her dog eating bologna together by the refrigerator light
June 13, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Just an insomniac and her dog eating bologna together by the refrigerator light
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If you don't have Chipotle burrito wrappers in every single corner of your house, I'm not sure we can ever be friends.
June 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
If you don't have Chipotle burrito wrappers in every single corner of your house, I'm not sure we can ever be friends.
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When I say Happy Pride, I’m not referring to the “Christian dad” that screams “one man one woman”. I’m talking to his secret boyfriend.
June 4, 2025 at 7:05 PM
When I say Happy Pride, I’m not referring to the “Christian dad” that screams “one man one woman”. I’m talking to his secret boyfriend.
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I thought he was supposed to be funny but this is really weird
- my new followers
- my new followers
June 1, 2025 at 5:46 AM
I thought he was supposed to be funny but this is really weird
- my new followers
- my new followers
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Interviewer: "can you explain this gap in your resume?"
Me:
Me:
May 26, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Interviewer: "can you explain this gap in your resume?"
Me:
Me:
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I'm at this bar and it's wild here! Some dude just got his junk pierced in front of everyone!
In other news, I am really terrible at darts.
In other news, I am really terrible at darts.
May 25, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I'm at this bar and it's wild here! Some dude just got his junk pierced in front of everyone!
In other news, I am really terrible at darts.
In other news, I am really terrible at darts.
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*gesturing at the human race* this should have been an email
May 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM
*gesturing at the human race* this should have been an email
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I feel like it's very easy to identify me as a cool mom by my COOL MOMS CLUB tshirt
May 24, 2025 at 10:40 AM
I feel like it's very easy to identify me as a cool mom by my COOL MOMS CLUB tshirt
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There’s a Tom Waits song in Shrek 2, why isn’t that “The Song from Shrek” I think it should be The Song from Shrek why are you making that fa— oh did my date leave? just one additional basket of chips then, thanks
May 24, 2025 at 1:06 AM
There’s a Tom Waits song in Shrek 2, why isn’t that “The Song from Shrek” I think it should be The Song from Shrek why are you making that fa— oh did my date leave? just one additional basket of chips then, thanks
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He is very much this ⬇️ cartoon progression
May 23, 2025 at 11:47 AM
He is very much this ⬇️ cartoon progression
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Another disapproving post
May 21, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Another disapproving post
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I’m here for whatever you need me to do from the couch.
May 14, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I’m here for whatever you need me to do from the couch.