stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
Pinned
stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
· Jul 21
Listen. Life is short. Take the vacation. Eat the dessert. Dress like an elderly British woman to defy custody laws and see your kids. Get the guacamole yes I know it’s extra. Be extra.
Reposted by stabke
Interviewer: Your resume lists one of your skills as “planning evil events.” That’s a typo, right? Don’t you mean “live events”?
Me: [slowly rubbing my hands together] If you prefer.
Me: [slowly rubbing my hands together] If you prefer.
October 4, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Interviewer: Your resume lists one of your skills as “planning evil events.” That’s a typo, right? Don’t you mean “live events”?
Me: [slowly rubbing my hands together] If you prefer.
Me: [slowly rubbing my hands together] If you prefer.
Reposted by stabke
you could probably capture our president by writing "nobel peace prize" on a pie plate and putting it under one of those boxes held up with a stick tied to a string
January 6, 2026 at 4:34 AM
you could probably capture our president by writing "nobel peace prize" on a pie plate and putting it under one of those boxes held up with a stick tied to a string
Reposted by stabke
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
January 3, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
Reposted by stabke
If the USA had a good Mom she'd have said no you can't have Venezuela, we have a failed State at home
January 3, 2026 at 7:05 PM
If the USA had a good Mom she'd have said no you can't have Venezuela, we have a failed State at home
Reposted by stabke
hey remember when a bunch of middle-aged drunk korean lawmakers climbed the locked gates to the national assembly to hold an emergency session after the president gave illegal orders to the military, all of which ended with said president being sentenced to prison
January 3, 2026 at 7:02 AM
hey remember when a bunch of middle-aged drunk korean lawmakers climbed the locked gates to the national assembly to hold an emergency session after the president gave illegal orders to the military, all of which ended with said president being sentenced to prison
The “child sex trafficker to world leader kidnapper” pipeline needs to be studied
January 3, 2026 at 1:43 PM
The “child sex trafficker to world leader kidnapper” pipeline needs to be studied
Reposted by stabke
when you experience not understanding what's going on, your choices are:
1) do the work to understand
2) decide it's not for you and move on
3) freak the absolute fuck out and churn out take after take about how [thing] is destroying society.
if you chose 3, congratulations! you are Conservative
1) do the work to understand
2) decide it's not for you and move on
3) freak the absolute fuck out and churn out take after take about how [thing] is destroying society.
if you chose 3, congratulations! you are Conservative
January 3, 2026 at 2:38 AM
when you experience not understanding what's going on, your choices are:
1) do the work to understand
2) decide it's not for you and move on
3) freak the absolute fuck out and churn out take after take about how [thing] is destroying society.
if you chose 3, congratulations! you are Conservative
1) do the work to understand
2) decide it's not for you and move on
3) freak the absolute fuck out and churn out take after take about how [thing] is destroying society.
if you chose 3, congratulations! you are Conservative
Reposted by stabke
the only "2fa" i wanna deal with is 2 fuckin' 'amburgers
December 30, 2025 at 2:42 PM
the only "2fa" i wanna deal with is 2 fuckin' 'amburgers
Reposted by stabke
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Tamanduas distinguish themselves from all other anteaters by being the only genus that communicates exclusively through interpretive dance.”
“Tamanduas distinguish themselves from all other anteaters by being the only genus that communicates exclusively through interpretive dance.”
December 29, 2025 at 5:08 PM
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Tamanduas distinguish themselves from all other anteaters by being the only genus that communicates exclusively through interpretive dance.”
“Tamanduas distinguish themselves from all other anteaters by being the only genus that communicates exclusively through interpretive dance.”
Reposted by stabke
me: please don’t judge me
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
December 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
me: please don’t judge me
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
Reposted by stabke
as the prophecy foretold
December 29, 2025 at 1:56 PM
as the prophecy foretold
Reposted by stabke
Avoid conversations at the supermarket by spending an inordinate amount of time in front of the laxatives.
December 26, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Avoid conversations at the supermarket by spending an inordinate amount of time in front of the laxatives.
Reposted by stabke
him: license and registration, please
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
December 26, 2025 at 1:29 PM
him: license and registration, please
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
Reposted by stabke
If you can buy your detachable penis back for $17 that's actually a pretty good value
December 27, 2025 at 2:47 AM
If you can buy your detachable penis back for $17 that's actually a pretty good value
Reposted by stabke
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
December 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
“Like a grain of sand in a vast desert, the predator blends seamlessly into its environment, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye.”
Reposted by stabke
If you're just going to be ridiculous I'll take my action figures and go home.
December 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
If you're just going to be ridiculous I'll take my action figures and go home.
Reposted by stabke
I'm living the dream. Unfortunately, it's the dream where I forget to wear pants to work.
December 22, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I'm living the dream. Unfortunately, it's the dream where I forget to wear pants to work.
Reposted by stabke
I consider this gift card a lump of Kohl's.
December 22, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I consider this gift card a lump of Kohl's.
Reposted by stabke
Wear a fanny pack with your cargo pants to be prepared for any eventuality except the sex.
December 22, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Wear a fanny pack with your cargo pants to be prepared for any eventuality except the sex.
Reposted by stabke
if social media has taught me anything... i’m unaware of it
December 22, 2025 at 4:15 PM
if social media has taught me anything... i’m unaware of it
Reposted by stabke
Went to a party last night and there were 5 dogs there and I have an idea for a new law that will actually be good
December 22, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Went to a party last night and there were 5 dogs there and I have an idea for a new law that will actually be good
Yeah well my buddy already lost his job to artificial intelligence. He was an art thief.
December 28, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Yeah well my buddy already lost his job to artificial intelligence. He was an art thief.
Reposted by stabke
Imagine having a super tough shift down at Nakatomi Plaza then having to go home to chase Urkel off your daughter
December 24, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Imagine having a super tough shift down at Nakatomi Plaza then having to go home to chase Urkel off your daughter
Reposted by stabke
She was beautiful and welcoming but with an aura of danger, like seeing a toilet in a dream
July 17, 2025 at 11:41 PM
She was beautiful and welcoming but with an aura of danger, like seeing a toilet in a dream
Reposted by stabke
Are news anchors secretly insulting you? Moron this story at 11
February 19, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Are news anchors secretly insulting you? Moron this story at 11