stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
Pinned
stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
· Jul 21
Listen. Life is short. Take the vacation. Eat the dessert. Dress like an elderly British woman to defy custody laws and see your kids. Get the guacamole yes I know it’s extra. Be extra.
Reposted by stabke
COP: Where were you the night of the murder?
CROW: I was with a group of friends.
COP: And what would you call that group?
CROW: Uh…I want a lawyer
CROW: I was with a group of friends.
COP: And what would you call that group?
CROW: Uh…I want a lawyer
November 12, 2025 at 7:21 PM
COP: Where were you the night of the murder?
CROW: I was with a group of friends.
COP: And what would you call that group?
CROW: Uh…I want a lawyer
CROW: I was with a group of friends.
COP: And what would you call that group?
CROW: Uh…I want a lawyer
Reposted by stabke
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
November 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
Obama, about to drink invisibility potion: now let me be clear
November 12, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Obama, about to drink invisibility potion: now let me be clear
Reposted by stabke
This is the stupidest I think it has ever felt to just be going to work every day
March 16, 2025 at 2:51 AM
This is the stupidest I think it has ever felt to just be going to work every day
Reposted by stabke
The easiest way to get rich is to hyphenate your last name.
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
November 8, 2025 at 8:51 PM
The easiest way to get rich is to hyphenate your last name.
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Seriously, do you know anyone named “Smythe-Follansbee” who doesn’t have millions?
Reposted by stabke
I'm never at my best this early in the millennium.
November 8, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I'm never at my best this early in the millennium.
Reposted by stabke
“Hello, my little friend.”
“Um, hi.”
“See that lady holding the camera?”
“Yeah?”
“She leaves for work in an hour.”
“Um, hi.”
“See that lady holding the camera?”
“Yeah?”
“She leaves for work in an hour.”
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
“Hello, my little friend.”
“Um, hi.”
“See that lady holding the camera?”
“Yeah?”
“She leaves for work in an hour.”
“Um, hi.”
“See that lady holding the camera?”
“Yeah?”
“She leaves for work in an hour.”
Reposted by stabke
That lamp looks PISSED.
November 8, 2025 at 1:17 PM
That lamp looks PISSED.
Reposted by stabke
Haha no kids Mickey was born 97 years ago. He's a mouse. He's dead.
November 8, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Haha no kids Mickey was born 97 years ago. He's a mouse. He's dead.
Reposted by stabke
it was love at first sight
November 8, 2025 at 2:05 AM
it was love at first sight
Reposted by stabke
Let's let bygones be blood feuds.
November 7, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Let's let bygones be blood feuds.
Reposted by stabke
me: *waxes poetic*
poetic: just leave a landing strip
poetic: just leave a landing strip
November 7, 2025 at 5:04 PM
me: *waxes poetic*
poetic: just leave a landing strip
poetic: just leave a landing strip
Reposted by stabke
I dare that tough guy Sandwich Man to throw a double meatball sub with marinara, sautéed onions, and melted mozzarella at my mouf
November 7, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I dare that tough guy Sandwich Man to throw a double meatball sub with marinara, sautéed onions, and melted mozzarella at my mouf
Reposted by stabke
Whenever someone new comes to the house, Clyde always likes to show off his mailman collection.
November 7, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Whenever someone new comes to the house, Clyde always likes to show off his mailman collection.
Reposted by stabke
Sal, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Monella. You know that new bacterial infection you're looking for?
November 8, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Sal, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Monella. You know that new bacterial infection you're looking for?
Reposted by stabke
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
ME: Whatcha doin?
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
WIFE: Watchin Dune.
ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
Pretty glad to see Mamdani is implementing Shakeyourump Law because honestly all I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom
November 7, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Pretty glad to see Mamdani is implementing Shakeyourump Law because honestly all I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom
Reposted by stabke
Walrus potato does not care for your hurtful comparison.
November 7, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Walrus potato does not care for your hurtful comparison.
Reposted by stabke
Establish dominance in a meeting by bringing donuts and saying no one can have any because they are for a later, more important meeting.
November 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Establish dominance in a meeting by bringing donuts and saying no one can have any because they are for a later, more important meeting.
Reposted by stabke
ok wow they sure give you lots of extra skin as you age
November 6, 2025 at 11:35 PM
ok wow they sure give you lots of extra skin as you age
Boss: I’m sorry but we’re gonna have to let you go
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
November 6, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Boss: I’m sorry but we’re gonna have to let you go
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Dysentery causes oregon failure
November 6, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Dysentery causes oregon failure
Reposted by stabke
the free sample lady must have called them when i wouldn’t leave
November 6, 2025 at 4:45 PM
the free sample lady must have called them when i wouldn’t leave
Reposted by stabke
When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk ten miles through it to get to school.
November 6, 2025 at 4:14 PM
When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk ten miles through it to get to school.
Reposted by stabke
Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.
November 6, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.