Sam
@samuelhlowe.bsky.social
Pinned
Sam
@samuelhlowe.bsky.social
· Jan 31
I’ve quit telling people that I disagree with them. Instead, I now say, “I’m gonna have to agree with myself on this one.” It’s self-positive, non-confrontational, and just weird enough to end the conversation.
Reposted by Sam
I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.
November 1, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.
Reposted by Sam
i need a special kind of alt text where i can tap on a new slang word that someone has used in a post and it will give me the definition so i don't have to google it 👀
November 4, 2025 at 5:33 AM
i need a special kind of alt text where i can tap on a new slang word that someone has used in a post and it will give me the definition so i don't have to google it 👀
Reposted by Sam
There's so much awful news in the world today that it really is a pleasure to share in other people's joy. I got home from work just in time to see the news cross live to Mamdani's victory speech and I stood there frozen, watching with a big grin on my face, in my living room, in Sydney Australia.
November 5, 2025 at 5:14 AM
There's so much awful news in the world today that it really is a pleasure to share in other people's joy. I got home from work just in time to see the news cross live to Mamdani's victory speech and I stood there frozen, watching with a big grin on my face, in my living room, in Sydney Australia.
Reposted by Sam
Sprouting a full set of five point antlers would fix me.
November 4, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Sprouting a full set of five point antlers would fix me.
Reposted by Sam
Ladies we’ve GOT to stop wearing pimple patches in public.
February 7, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Ladies we’ve GOT to stop wearing pimple patches in public.
Reposted by Sam
Good morning, don’t forget to laugh at the ridiculous idiots trying to rule the world today.
You can get mad about it too. But don’t forget that 1st part. It really pisses them off.
You can get mad about it too. But don’t forget that 1st part. It really pisses them off.
October 9, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Good morning, don’t forget to laugh at the ridiculous idiots trying to rule the world today.
You can get mad about it too. But don’t forget that 1st part. It really pisses them off.
You can get mad about it too. But don’t forget that 1st part. It really pisses them off.
- Am I the only one who...
- No, you're not the only one. Shut the fuck up.
- No, you're not the only one. Shut the fuck up.
November 7, 2025 at 5:27 AM
- Am I the only one who...
- No, you're not the only one. Shut the fuck up.
- No, you're not the only one. Shut the fuck up.
Reposted by Sam
When there was only one set of footprints and a buttprint in the sand that's when Jesus decided to walk on water and I said hella no and sat my ass down
November 6, 2025 at 6:04 AM
When there was only one set of footprints and a buttprint in the sand that's when Jesus decided to walk on water and I said hella no and sat my ass down
Reposted by Sam
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
November 6, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
Reposted by Sam
I apologize for not solving all the world's issues and everyone's individual problems within the scope of a single character limited post on a micro-blogging app today, but I promise to give it a go tomorrow. Definitely. Maybe.
October 22, 2024 at 1:23 AM
I apologize for not solving all the world's issues and everyone's individual problems within the scope of a single character limited post on a micro-blogging app today, but I promise to give it a go tomorrow. Definitely. Maybe.
Reposted by Sam
Been thinking about getting into yoga but I can't find a place that does it in the nude.
November 6, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Been thinking about getting into yoga but I can't find a place that does it in the nude.
Reposted by Sam
My doctor is pretty rude for someone who is concerned about my blood pressure
November 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
My doctor is pretty rude for someone who is concerned about my blood pressure
Reposted by Sam
I just love fall. Bathing in pumpkin spice latte, eating crunchy leaves, eating sweaters knitted from the hair of my neighbors. Hard to pick a favorite really.
November 6, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I just love fall. Bathing in pumpkin spice latte, eating crunchy leaves, eating sweaters knitted from the hair of my neighbors. Hard to pick a favorite really.
Reposted by Sam
If you make it to the end of Candy Crush, the prize is Wilford Brimley talking to you about diabetes.
November 6, 2025 at 5:00 PM
If you make it to the end of Candy Crush, the prize is Wilford Brimley talking to you about diabetes.
Reposted by Sam
working in aviation has its ups and downs
November 6, 2025 at 7:57 PM
working in aviation has its ups and downs
Reposted by Sam
“You only hate in others what you see in yourself.”
OK, well I hate the part of you that reminds me of the part of me that ran off with my wife.
OK, well I hate the part of you that reminds me of the part of me that ran off with my wife.
November 7, 2025 at 3:26 AM
“You only hate in others what you see in yourself.”
OK, well I hate the part of you that reminds me of the part of me that ran off with my wife.
OK, well I hate the part of you that reminds me of the part of me that ran off with my wife.
Reposted by Sam
Ozzy Osbourne wrote Crazy Train because he had a Loco Motive
November 7, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Ozzy Osbourne wrote Crazy Train because he had a Loco Motive
Reposted by Sam
i was a regifted child
November 7, 2025 at 12:07 AM
i was a regifted child
Reposted by Sam
The challenges of reaching across the aisle
November 6, 2025 at 8:29 PM
The challenges of reaching across the aisle
Reposted by Sam
If you won $10 for second place in beauty contest.. you might be a redneck.
November 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
If you won $10 for second place in beauty contest.. you might be a redneck.
Reposted by Sam
One time I called whale sounds 'Depth Metal' and now I'm banned from every meditation group in my town.
November 6, 2025 at 10:44 PM
One time I called whale sounds 'Depth Metal' and now I'm banned from every meditation group in my town.
Reposted by Sam
[sting] okay roxanne baby rents getting expensive time to turn on that red light
November 6, 2025 at 4:22 PM
[sting] okay roxanne baby rents getting expensive time to turn on that red light
Reposted by Sam
Now, a message from Julie Lavender Menace:
Milk And Cookies Pilates 7p to floor. Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof will take candy from a baby and give it to a hooker. God bless.
Milk And Cookies Pilates 7p to floor. Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof will take candy from a baby and give it to a hooker. God bless.
November 6, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Now, a message from Julie Lavender Menace:
Milk And Cookies Pilates 7p to floor. Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof will take candy from a baby and give it to a hooker. God bless.
Milk And Cookies Pilates 7p to floor. Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof will take candy from a baby and give it to a hooker. God bless.
Reposted by Sam
me: when you assume it makes an ass out of u
him: "and me"
me: i already mentioned u
him: "and me"
me: i already mentioned u
November 6, 2025 at 10:18 PM
me: when you assume it makes an ass out of u
him: "and me"
me: i already mentioned u
him: "and me"
me: i already mentioned u
Reposted by Sam
In Hell there are no good haircuts.
November 3, 2025 at 8:37 PM
In Hell there are no good haircuts.