Sam
@samuelhlowe.bsky.social
Pinned
Already tired of 2026.
Reposted by Sam
Always be true to yourself. Even if you prefer Cheeto dust over oysters.
January 2, 2026 at 3:29 AM
Always be true to yourself. Even if you prefer Cheeto dust over oysters.
Reposted by Sam
I’ve been to multiple businesses today and a majority of America’s workers are helping the other one work the register.
November 28, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I’ve been to multiple businesses today and a majority of America’s workers are helping the other one work the register.
Reposted by Sam
For the record, I’ve wouldn’t ask for a boob pic.
That’s more my dad.
To my highschool ex girlfriend.
15 years after she dumped me.
That’s more my dad.
To my highschool ex girlfriend.
15 years after she dumped me.
November 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
For the record, I’ve wouldn’t ask for a boob pic.
That’s more my dad.
To my highschool ex girlfriend.
15 years after she dumped me.
That’s more my dad.
To my highschool ex girlfriend.
15 years after she dumped me.
Reposted by Sam
Guys, I’m still writing 2025 on my death threats lol
January 2, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Guys, I’m still writing 2025 on my death threats lol
Reposted by Sam
I wonder if sexy leopards wear human-printed clothes?
January 1, 2026 at 11:31 PM
I wonder if sexy leopards wear human-printed clothes?
Reposted by Sam
Had an absolute great sex dream last night involving a co-worker. I fear I might be more awkward with him now. Worth it (at least in my imagination).
June 15, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Had an absolute great sex dream last night involving a co-worker. I fear I might be more awkward with him now. Worth it (at least in my imagination).
Reposted by Sam
Life shouldn’t be measured by the passing of time, rather the good times spent in brothels and bars.
December 9, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Life shouldn’t be measured by the passing of time, rather the good times spent in brothels and bars.
Reposted by Sam
my favourite X’s, ranked:
10. _onerated in a court of law
9. _traterrestrial
8. _marks the spot
7. _ray specs
6. _chromosome
5. generation_
4. _tasy
3. _tra large portion of fries
2. _rated
1. _wife
10. _onerated in a court of law
9. _traterrestrial
8. _marks the spot
7. _ray specs
6. _chromosome
5. generation_
4. _tasy
3. _tra large portion of fries
2. _rated
1. _wife
December 23, 2025 at 3:48 PM
my favourite X’s, ranked:
10. _onerated in a court of law
9. _traterrestrial
8. _marks the spot
7. _ray specs
6. _chromosome
5. generation_
4. _tasy
3. _tra large portion of fries
2. _rated
1. _wife
10. _onerated in a court of law
9. _traterrestrial
8. _marks the spot
7. _ray specs
6. _chromosome
5. generation_
4. _tasy
3. _tra large portion of fries
2. _rated
1. _wife
Reposted by Sam
9: Where's mom?
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
December 31, 2025 at 2:15 PM
9: Where's mom?
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
me: out the back
9: in Australia?
me: no silly, she’s out THE back, not in the Outback!
9: what's she doing?
me: playing with her didgeridoo, I think
Reposted by Sam
The last Monday of the year, I'll be riding bikes with friends instead of working.
December 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
The last Monday of the year, I'll be riding bikes with friends instead of working.
Reposted by Sam
Today I compiled and sent a looooong email that I've been putting off for a year so that's me done for 2026.
January 2, 2026 at 1:58 AM
Today I compiled and sent a looooong email that I've been putting off for a year so that's me done for 2026.
Reposted by Sam
This skeet is stolen.
January 2, 2026 at 3:48 PM
This skeet is stolen.
Reposted by Sam
i don't have the jaunty charisma to pull off calling everybody boss, or hon, or hoss but damn if i don't respect it in those that do
December 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
i don't have the jaunty charisma to pull off calling everybody boss, or hon, or hoss but damn if i don't respect it in those that do
Reposted by Sam
when you start losing your looks you can’t be insufferable anymore did y’all know about this
December 24, 2025 at 2:49 PM
when you start losing your looks you can’t be insufferable anymore did y’all know about this
Reposted by Sam
what do you say we turn this house of Guinness into a home of Guinness
January 2, 2026 at 8:08 PM
what do you say we turn this house of Guinness into a home of Guinness
Reposted by Sam
There are people that find forgotten money in their coat pockets. I just found a spork in mine
January 2, 2026 at 3:11 PM
There are people that find forgotten money in their coat pockets. I just found a spork in mine
Reposted by Sam
If only everything in life were as reliable as my Mandalorian PEZ dispenser.
December 29, 2025 at 6:56 PM
If only everything in life were as reliable as my Mandalorian PEZ dispenser.
Reposted by Sam
falling in love with me is a mistake fall into a vat of noodles with me instead
December 21, 2025 at 7:08 PM
falling in love with me is a mistake fall into a vat of noodles with me instead
Reposted by Sam
Pre-emptively organizing my regrets.
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Pre-emptively organizing my regrets.
Reposted by Sam
Anti-aging creams should be called “hot sauce” too.
December 31, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Anti-aging creams should be called “hot sauce” too.
Reposted by Sam
I've got a good feeling about this bank of mysterious fog moving against the wind to blanket our isolated small town.
August 24, 2024 at 7:16 PM
I've got a good feeling about this bank of mysterious fog moving against the wind to blanket our isolated small town.
Reposted by Sam
Reposted by Sam
You know how dictionaries have words of the year? And they add new words?
They should remove words too. Maybe trousers?
They should remove words too. Maybe trousers?
January 1, 2026 at 3:17 AM
You know how dictionaries have words of the year? And they add new words?
They should remove words too. Maybe trousers?
They should remove words too. Maybe trousers?
Reposted by Sam
“Strangers Things” season 5’s “Shock Jock” clearly shows Erica Sinclair drinking an Ecto Cooler.. but they weren’t released until 1989 as a tie in to “Ghostbusters II” and yet chapter 5 is set in the fall of 1987.
ITS COMPLETE HORSESHIT PEOPLE
ITS COMPLETE HORSESHIT PEOPLE
January 1, 2026 at 4:51 PM
“Strangers Things” season 5’s “Shock Jock” clearly shows Erica Sinclair drinking an Ecto Cooler.. but they weren’t released until 1989 as a tie in to “Ghostbusters II” and yet chapter 5 is set in the fall of 1987.
ITS COMPLETE HORSESHIT PEOPLE
ITS COMPLETE HORSESHIT PEOPLE
Reposted by Sam
it's honestly kind of wasteful that we get a new year every single year. seems really bad for the environment.
January 1, 2026 at 2:45 PM
it's honestly kind of wasteful that we get a new year every single year. seems really bad for the environment.