redherringbear
@qutzupalotl.bsky.social
Here for the funny with an occasional politic. Reposts are an endorsement of the joke. My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3ikhpxf3tft4blnm3xphwu5t/feed/aaaefhjnprqaq
cunnilingus & anilingus = beaver & butt head
November 20, 2025 at 5:15 AM
cunnilingus & anilingus = beaver & butt head
Reposted by redherringbear
Him: Look at that beautiful woman. She must be a model.
Her: You are sexist. How do you know she's not a PhD in French Existential Poetry?
Him: Because she's not spining a sign on the street in front of a strip mall tax preparation office dressed like the Statue of Liberty.
Her: You are sexist. How do you know she's not a PhD in French Existential Poetry?
Him: Because she's not spining a sign on the street in front of a strip mall tax preparation office dressed like the Statue of Liberty.
November 19, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Him: Look at that beautiful woman. She must be a model.
Her: You are sexist. How do you know she's not a PhD in French Existential Poetry?
Him: Because she's not spining a sign on the street in front of a strip mall tax preparation office dressed like the Statue of Liberty.
Her: You are sexist. How do you know she's not a PhD in French Existential Poetry?
Him: Because she's not spining a sign on the street in front of a strip mall tax preparation office dressed like the Statue of Liberty.
Reposted by redherringbear
Whaddaya say we go back to my place and you let me funge your token
November 19, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Whaddaya say we go back to my place and you let me funge your token
Reposted by redherringbear
I’m as snug as a body in a rug
November 19, 2025 at 5:40 AM
I’m as snug as a body in a rug
Reposted by redherringbear
Unpopular opinion: my opinions should be more popular
November 18, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Unpopular opinion: my opinions should be more popular
Reposted by redherringbear
I have no patience for people who take their time crossing a crosswalk but I’ll sit all day and wait for a family of ducks to cross the road
November 19, 2025 at 1:02 PM
I have no patience for people who take their time crossing a crosswalk but I’ll sit all day and wait for a family of ducks to cross the road
Reposted by redherringbear
The Cornell University Library is now online, for free, no registration or login, 76,474 books in the Internet Archive
archive.org/details/corn...
archive.org/details/corn...
Internet Archive: Digital Library of Free & Borrowable Texts, Movies, Music & Wayback Machine
archive.org
November 19, 2025 at 1:50 AM
The Cornell University Library is now online, for free, no registration or login, 76,474 books in the Internet Archive
archive.org/details/corn...
archive.org/details/corn...
Reposted by redherringbear
ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
November 18, 2025 at 4:26 PM
ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
Reposted by redherringbear
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice... yeah that sounds about right
Fool me twice... yeah that sounds about right
November 18, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice... yeah that sounds about right
Fool me twice... yeah that sounds about right
Reposted by redherringbear
Swiss Army Knife
French Navy Fork
Italian Air Force Spoon
French Navy Fork
Italian Air Force Spoon
November 18, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Swiss Army Knife
French Navy Fork
Italian Air Force Spoon
French Navy Fork
Italian Air Force Spoon
Reposted by redherringbear
They're called stockbrokers because you gradually become broker than when you started.
November 18, 2025 at 4:24 AM
They're called stockbrokers because you gradually become broker than when you started.
Reposted by redherringbear
You’re going to love me. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way
November 18, 2025 at 4:21 AM
You’re going to love me. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way
Reposted by redherringbear
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, said no one ever.
November 18, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, said no one ever.
Reposted by redherringbear
Someone told me I have alexithymia and I can’t tell you how that makes me feel
November 17, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Someone told me I have alexithymia and I can’t tell you how that makes me feel
Reposted by redherringbear
Don't come around here with that mopey attitude. I'm not buying what you're sullen.
November 15, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Don't come around here with that mopey attitude. I'm not buying what you're sullen.
Reposted by redherringbear
SON: Daddy, look at this picture of an ancient Celtic priest.
ME: Druid?
HIM: No, I printed it off the internet.
ME: Druid?
HIM: No, I printed it off the internet.
November 16, 2025 at 1:16 PM
SON: Daddy, look at this picture of an ancient Celtic priest.
ME: Druid?
HIM: No, I printed it off the internet.
ME: Druid?
HIM: No, I printed it off the internet.
Reposted by redherringbear
As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
November 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
Reposted by redherringbear
Mostly, Gary was just learning karate to avoid having to return the lumber he bought that didn’t fit in his hatchback.
November 16, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Mostly, Gary was just learning karate to avoid having to return the lumber he bought that didn’t fit in his hatchback.
Reposted by redherringbear
What if I don't want AI just because I think it's stupid? Is that enough reason.
November 14, 2025 at 4:54 PM
What if I don't want AI just because I think it's stupid? Is that enough reason.
Reposted by redherringbear
Grocery prices are falling at last
November 16, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Grocery prices are falling at last
Reposted by redherringbear
It's not a crown it's a coronet. A crown would make me look ridiculous.
November 16, 2025 at 5:46 PM
It's not a crown it's a coronet. A crown would make me look ridiculous.
Reposted by redherringbear
It's called gallows humour, ffs. Don't let the trapdoor hit your arse on the way out.
November 16, 2025 at 7:22 AM
It's called gallows humour, ffs. Don't let the trapdoor hit your arse on the way out.
Reposted by redherringbear
Hearing CBS News describe Trump’s support of something as “full throated” is the unintentional troll I needed tonight.
November 17, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Hearing CBS News describe Trump’s support of something as “full throated” is the unintentional troll I needed tonight.
Reposted by redherringbear
Started at the bottom
I’m still here
I’m still here
November 16, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Started at the bottom
I’m still here
I’m still here