Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Pinned
Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
· Nov 17
57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.
A hot fudge Monday (Mondae?). But too long in the microwave and now Gary was trapped in the kitchen like a mammoth in a tar pit.
November 11, 2025 at 5:17 AM
A hot fudge Monday (Mondae?). But too long in the microwave and now Gary was trapped in the kitchen like a mammoth in a tar pit.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
[after watching Devil Wears Prada for the 89th time]
wow, what a film
wow, what a film
November 11, 2025 at 3:06 AM
[after watching Devil Wears Prada for the 89th time]
wow, what a film
wow, what a film
Reposted by Gary Muppet
oh just muppetizing movie scenes: thread
November 9, 2025 at 11:15 PM
oh just muppetizing movie scenes: thread
post you and your celeb lookalike
November 10, 2025 at 2:31 AM
post you and your celeb lookalike
Reposted by Gary Muppet
just replacing bad guys with muppets: thread
November 9, 2025 at 8:19 PM
just replacing bad guys with muppets: thread
Reposted by Gary Muppet
exfoliation ain't cuttin it anymore. need to start stripping wood
November 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
exfoliation ain't cuttin it anymore. need to start stripping wood
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Getting old is so extra. I used to just wake and bake but now I wake and ache and bake.
November 9, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Getting old is so extra. I used to just wake and bake but now I wake and ache and bake.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
the horrible truth is that no one will ever love you the way that I love popping bubble wrap
November 9, 2025 at 9:10 AM
the horrible truth is that no one will ever love you the way that I love popping bubble wrap
Gary just wanted another log on the fire. Next thing he knew, a saguaro, a chuckwalla, and a couple of snowbirds moved into his living room.
November 9, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Gary just wanted another log on the fire. Next thing he knew, a saguaro, a chuckwalla, and a couple of snowbirds moved into his living room.
Gary was no Maytag repairman, but he fixed the dryer! It stopped making that weird noise as long as you don't put any clothes in it.
November 8, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Gary was no Maytag repairman, but he fixed the dryer! It stopped making that weird noise as long as you don't put any clothes in it.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I couldn't have picked a worse time to get into falconry
November 7, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I couldn't have picked a worse time to get into falconry
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I wish Payless was still around! I need a lil granny shoe, and I know they would have it!!
November 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I wish Payless was still around! I need a lil granny shoe, and I know they would have it!!
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Living next to the USA right now feels like being trapped in a car with a drunk driver who is chain smoking stale cigarettes and careening down an icy mountain road in the dark and rain
November 6, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Living next to the USA right now feels like being trapped in a car with a drunk driver who is chain smoking stale cigarettes and careening down an icy mountain road in the dark and rain
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Happy birthday Marie Curie, you would have loved PPE
November 7, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Happy birthday Marie Curie, you would have loved PPE
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I don't want AI. I want to stop filling out my entire medical history every time I go to the same doctor
November 2, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I don't want AI. I want to stop filling out my entire medical history every time I go to the same doctor
Reposted by Gary Muppet
You know when you are in a relationship and your partner wants a neck massage, you can’t be arsed because you get cramps in your hands and they always want it firmer, you get annoyed but do it anyway.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
November 7, 2025 at 2:16 PM
You know when you are in a relationship and your partner wants a neck massage, you can’t be arsed because you get cramps in your hands and they always want it firmer, you get annoyed but do it anyway.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I love it when I get all my sleeping done by 4am. Awesome.
November 8, 2025 at 9:51 AM
I love it when I get all my sleeping done by 4am. Awesome.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
November 7, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Touch grass you said
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
It will be fun you said
Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen
(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Just burned 10,000 calories changing the battery in my key fob.
November 6, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Just burned 10,000 calories changing the battery in my key fob.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
They need to make K-pop Nazi Hunters.
November 6, 2025 at 1:04 PM
They need to make K-pop Nazi Hunters.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Pretty soon it’s gonna be all skittles and starburst and if you’re thinking that sounds good then you weren’t there for the days of Milky Way and Reese’s peanut butter cups.
November 5, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Pretty soon it’s gonna be all skittles and starburst and if you’re thinking that sounds good then you weren’t there for the days of Milky Way and Reese’s peanut butter cups.
They traveled 584 million miles together and it was time to celebrate. A chew bone for the bulldog-mutt thing and an ice cream cake for Gary.
November 6, 2025 at 1:05 AM
They traveled 584 million miles together and it was time to celebrate. A chew bone for the bulldog-mutt thing and an ice cream cake for Gary.
Time wasn’t on his side and Gary just hoped the road would straighten out long enough that he could remove the paper from his ice cream cone.
November 5, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Time wasn’t on his side and Gary just hoped the road would straighten out long enough that he could remove the paper from his ice cream cone.
Polls closed and ballots returned to the courthouse. In rural Missouri, excitement is the hoops you shoot while waiting for the next voter.
November 5, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Polls closed and ballots returned to the courthouse. In rural Missouri, excitement is the hoops you shoot while waiting for the next voter.