Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Self-proclaimed employee-of-the-month
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
Pinned
Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
· Nov 17
57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Valentine's Day is stupid but I still accept gifts. I'm not rude.
February 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Valentine's Day is stupid but I still accept gifts. I'm not rude.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
you’re telling me, gary muppet
February 13, 2026 at 1:57 AM
you’re telling me, gary muppet
But things weren’t going well at all. In fact, the rescue chip Gary sent into the salsa after the first chip also failed to return intact.
February 13, 2026 at 12:25 AM
But things weren’t going well at all. In fact, the rescue chip Gary sent into the salsa after the first chip also failed to return intact.
Sonic doesn’t sell ice cream cones, Costco doesn’t take Mastercard, and Gary wasted his day off. It’s only 9 a.m. but that’s all he had planned.
February 12, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Sonic doesn’t sell ice cream cones, Costco doesn’t take Mastercard, and Gary wasted his day off. It’s only 9 a.m. but that’s all he had planned.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Getting told you're being downsized hits differently when you work at the shrink-ray factory.
February 11, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Getting told you're being downsized hits differently when you work at the shrink-ray factory.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Invented a cool new game called: Have I already taken this pill?
February 12, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Invented a cool new game called: Have I already taken this pill?
Thursday. The ghost of Abraham Lincoln emerged from an old green penny and demanded Gary make waffles.
February 12, 2026 at 1:21 PM
Thursday. The ghost of Abraham Lincoln emerged from an old green penny and demanded Gary make waffles.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
me: I’m a visual learner
also me: watches someone parallel park. yeah I’m never doing that
also me: watches someone parallel park. yeah I’m never doing that
February 12, 2026 at 12:02 PM
me: I’m a visual learner
also me: watches someone parallel park. yeah I’m never doing that
also me: watches someone parallel park. yeah I’m never doing that
Reposted by Gary Muppet
checking my bank account after one coffee: ah yes, financial ruin
February 12, 2026 at 12:03 PM
checking my bank account after one coffee: ah yes, financial ruin
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Being self employed is hard, I’m not a good boss or employee
February 12, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Being self employed is hard, I’m not a good boss or employee
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I thought after Regina George got hit by that bus she was supposed to be nicer not become the current attorney general.
February 12, 2026 at 3:44 AM
I thought after Regina George got hit by that bus she was supposed to be nicer not become the current attorney general.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Been saying "uh oh" a worrying amount lately
February 11, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Been saying "uh oh" a worrying amount lately
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Switching from dark mode to plaid mode
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
February 11, 2026 at 1:15 PM
Switching from dark mode to plaid mode
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
*faraway bagpipe sounds*
Reposted by Gary Muppet
i simply did not realize how many kinds of skiing exist
February 11, 2026 at 1:05 PM
i simply did not realize how many kinds of skiing exist
Gary checked the calendar. Fuck. No way this was March Madness. It was February Folly at best.
February 11, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Gary checked the calendar. Fuck. No way this was March Madness. It was February Folly at best.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
February 11, 2026 at 4:52 AM
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
Reposted by Gary Muppet
*talking into a banana* no you hang up first
February 10, 2026 at 7:19 PM
*talking into a banana* no you hang up first
By including a constant rate of free fall, Gary calculates both his bank account balance and his team’s chances of an 𝐍𝐁𝐀 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓈 appearance.
February 11, 2026 at 3:07 AM
By including a constant rate of free fall, Gary calculates both his bank account balance and his team’s chances of an 𝐍𝐁𝐀 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓈 appearance.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
When does the Swedish chef come out in this game
February 10, 2026 at 6:20 PM
When does the Swedish chef come out in this game
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I’m at my most offended when my cat cleans himself after I pet him
February 10, 2026 at 12:53 PM
I’m at my most offended when my cat cleans himself after I pet him
Reposted by Gary Muppet
Let's play, how to piss someone off in under a minute..family bored games.
February 3, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Let's play, how to piss someone off in under a minute..family bored games.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I saw a job posting for plant maintenance and I was like aww🌱 that would be fun, but it was for something else entirely.
February 9, 2026 at 12:41 AM
I saw a job posting for plant maintenance and I was like aww🌱 that would be fun, but it was for something else entirely.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
No Kings includes Draft Kings
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
No Kings includes Draft Kings
Reposted by Gary Muppet
alright who's kid is selling girl scout cookies? i'm ready to buy
February 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
alright who's kid is selling girl scout cookies? i'm ready to buy
Reposted by Gary Muppet
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.
February 8, 2026 at 3:25 PM
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.