RealLifeMommy3
@reallifemommy3.bsky.social
3 kids, 1 dog, and a full time job. What could possibly go wrong?! posts are mine ➡️ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:am4xjbphjjv7zy5riv7gbfr3/feed/aaacwhjhkazly
Pinned
Dentist: have you been clenching your jaw lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
Me: have you been reading the news lately?
I stand at school drop off all uncomfortable in my business blazer and slacks watching the teens head to class in their sweatpants and fancy slippers and I’ve never been more certain that we grown ups have a lot to learn from the next generation
November 17, 2025 at 11:57 AM
I stand at school drop off all uncomfortable in my business blazer and slacks watching the teens head to class in their sweatpants and fancy slippers and I’ve never been more certain that we grown ups have a lot to learn from the next generation
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I'm at my most North American when I make tater tot casserole for dinner
November 17, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I'm at my most North American when I make tater tot casserole for dinner
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
The 7 signs of ageing seem to have doubled.
November 17, 2025 at 10:41 AM
The 7 signs of ageing seem to have doubled.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Hear me out.
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Everyone knows the old "You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese" thing, so what if we got a bunch of gold things, like Ferrero Rocher wrappers or whatever, and just made a little trail leading off a short pier
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Me: (Putting back dishwasher filter that I cleaned for the first time in at least 3 months) I'm going to totally remember to do this weekly from now on!!
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
November 15, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Me: (Putting back dishwasher filter that I cleaned for the first time in at least 3 months) I'm going to totally remember to do this weekly from now on!!
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Dishwasher Filter: Uh-Huh! See you in 3 months...
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's not against the HOA rules to quack at your neighbors
November 16, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's not against the HOA rules to quack at your neighbors
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My Kid: Dad! Come in close, I want to tell you something
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
November 16, 2025 at 10:41 PM
My Kid: Dad! Come in close, I want to tell you something
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Me: What do you want to tell me
Kid: (Frantically) It's a secret. Come closer
Me: uh...
Kid: Quick...
Me: you're trying to get me to smell your fart before it dissipates, aren't you?
Kid: maybe...
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
November 9, 2025 at 8:10 PM
5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
me: no, there's no oxygen
5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?
me: then yes
5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?
me: then no
5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?
me: is someone paying you to do this?
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My son just told me that he LOVES the new toy trucks they got at daycare. They are his toy trucks. We donated them because he refused to play with them.
November 11, 2025 at 5:32 PM
My son just told me that he LOVES the new toy trucks they got at daycare. They are his toy trucks. We donated them because he refused to play with them.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
November 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I'm heartbroken. My favorite spatula broke. Please respect my privacy while I shop online for a rebound spatula.
November 11, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I'm heartbroken. My favorite spatula broke. Please respect my privacy while I shop online for a rebound spatula.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's just me trying to find my charging cord my 14yo took in his messy room.
November 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's just me trying to find my charging cord my 14yo took in his messy room.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
If you had perfect attendance as a kid, I don't trust you as an adult
November 12, 2025 at 4:03 PM
If you had perfect attendance as a kid, I don't trust you as an adult
I keep accidentally buying ice cream that my kids don’t like and then having to eat it myself because no one else will, over and over again
November 10, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I keep accidentally buying ice cream that my kids don’t like and then having to eat it myself because no one else will, over and over again
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
I will sell one U.S. state to the Canadians each day until my demands are met
September 24, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I will sell one U.S. state to the Canadians each day until my demands are met
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
October 17, 2025 at 4:38 AM
FedEx guy just pulled up pulled some big boxes off his truck and then put them back in and drove off so now I know how my dog feels when I come back in because I forgot my keys
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My primary care physician is now Dr. Pepper
October 31, 2025 at 3:24 PM
My primary care physician is now Dr. Pepper
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Not to brag, but I actually could believe it wasn't butter.
November 5, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Not to brag, but I actually could believe it wasn't butter.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
Once upon a time, there was an evil witch who ate all of your Halloween candy
(kids crying)
...it wasn't me...
(kids crying)
...it wasn't me...
November 5, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Once upon a time, there was an evil witch who ate all of your Halloween candy
(kids crying)
...it wasn't me...
(kids crying)
...it wasn't me...
The Monday after the clock change is the only day my kids make it to class on time, so I’ll be rolling the clocks back one hour every Sunday of the school year
November 3, 2025 at 12:38 PM
The Monday after the clock change is the only day my kids make it to class on time, so I’ll be rolling the clocks back one hour every Sunday of the school year
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
My kid forgot her lost tooth on the kitchen table and I gave her $5 instead of the normal $2 bill. I decided I’m okay paying a convenience fee to hopefully incentivize my kids to continue to leave teeth downstairs so I can avoid crawling around a bedroom.
October 27, 2025 at 2:55 AM
My kid forgot her lost tooth on the kitchen table and I gave her $5 instead of the normal $2 bill. I decided I’m okay paying a convenience fee to hopefully incentivize my kids to continue to leave teeth downstairs so I can avoid crawling around a bedroom.
Reposted by RealLifeMommy3
the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying
October 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
the origin story of the cabbage patch kids is terrifying