Gary Muppet
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garymuppet.bsky.social
Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Pinned
57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.
Reposted by Gary Muppet
considering a controlled burn to the prairies of my mind
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 PM
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Me: society is a hellscape

Also Me: I wish there was a dairy queen near me
November 11, 2025 at 4:24 PM
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To those who serve(d) this country for the greater good,
THANK YOU for your service.
Happy Veterans Day 💝🇺🇸
November 11, 2025 at 4:27 PM
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"Read em and meep boys."

Beaker playing poker.
November 10, 2025 at 5:22 PM
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Netflix and stop talking to me
tryna hear what they’re sayin
November 11, 2025 at 1:44 PM
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if I had a nickel for every time the Dems caved I'd fund universal healthcare myself
November 11, 2025 at 1:52 PM
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Happy Veterans Day.
November 11, 2025 at 1:52 PM
A hot fudge Monday (Mondae?). But too long in the microwave and now Gary was trapped in the kitchen like a mammoth in a tar pit.
November 11, 2025 at 5:17 AM
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[after watching Devil Wears Prada for the 89th time]

wow, what a film
November 11, 2025 at 3:06 AM
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oh just muppetizing movie scenes: thread
November 9, 2025 at 11:15 PM
post you and your celeb lookalike
November 10, 2025 at 2:31 AM
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just replacing bad guys with muppets: thread
November 9, 2025 at 8:19 PM
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exfoliation ain't cuttin it anymore. need to start stripping wood
November 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
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Getting old is so extra. I used to just wake and bake but now I wake and ache and bake.
November 9, 2025 at 12:26 PM
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the horrible truth is that no one will ever love you the way that I love popping bubble wrap
November 9, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Gary just wanted another log on the fire. Next thing he knew, a saguaro, a chuckwalla, and a couple of snowbirds moved into his living room.
November 9, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Gary was no Maytag repairman, but he fixed the dryer! It stopped making that weird noise as long as you don't put any clothes in it.
November 8, 2025 at 11:42 PM
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I couldn't have picked a worse time to get into falconry
November 7, 2025 at 7:55 PM
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I wish Payless was still around! I need a lil granny shoe, and I know they would have it!!
November 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
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Living next to the USA right now feels like being trapped in a car with a drunk driver who is chain smoking stale cigarettes and careening down an icy mountain road in the dark and rain
November 6, 2025 at 11:14 PM
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Happy birthday Marie Curie, you would have loved PPE
November 7, 2025 at 1:54 PM
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I don't want AI. I want to stop filling out my entire medical history every time I go to the same doctor
November 2, 2025 at 11:33 PM
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You know when you are in a relationship and your partner wants a neck massage, you can’t be arsed because you get cramps in your hands and they always want it firmer, you get annoyed but do it anyway.

Now imagine that, but you’re a Giraffe.
November 7, 2025 at 2:16 PM
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I love it when I get all my sleeping done by 4am. Awesome.
November 8, 2025 at 9:51 AM
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Touch grass you said

It will be fun you said

Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen

(severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)
November 7, 2025 at 5:16 PM