Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
Pinned
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
I just used my grandfather’s bench chisel to open a paint can. Anything goes. I sang a Sting song one octave down. Anything goes
November 8, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I just used my grandfather’s bench chisel to open a paint can. Anything goes. I sang a Sting song one octave down. Anything goes
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Well at least I'm not broken enough to post parables on linkedin
November 8, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Well at least I'm not broken enough to post parables on linkedin
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone
January 31, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone
Another citizen’s arrest thrown out of court. Thinking of hanging up homemade badge.
November 11, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Another citizen’s arrest thrown out of court. Thinking of hanging up homemade badge.
What you have here is an exquisite specimen of a leaf blower.—New Stuff Roadshow host
November 10, 2025 at 11:21 PM
What you have here is an exquisite specimen of a leaf blower.—New Stuff Roadshow host
According to my swimsuit calendar, it’s Nana’s heavenly birthday.
November 9, 2025 at 8:01 PM
According to my swimsuit calendar, it’s Nana’s heavenly birthday.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Yoga is Simon Says for white women
September 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Yoga is Simon Says for white women
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Drinking Miller lite out of a wine glass who gives a shit anymore
October 8, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Drinking Miller lite out of a wine glass who gives a shit anymore
Reposted by Kip Conlon
*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence
October 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence
Reposted by Kip Conlon
The dental hygienist cleans my teeth to the sounds of the unbelievably old songs of my youth.
October 7, 2025 at 8:25 PM
The dental hygienist cleans my teeth to the sounds of the unbelievably old songs of my youth.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Go go gadget get-out-of-my-way
October 7, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Go go gadget get-out-of-my-way
Every scar tells a story. I call this one, The Tale of The Loose Porch Step.
November 9, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Every scar tells a story. I call this one, The Tale of The Loose Porch Step.
Based on my Mister Rogers experience, never meet your heroes and accidentally spill a daiquiri on them.
November 8, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Based on my Mister Rogers experience, never meet your heroes and accidentally spill a daiquiri on them.
No gal’s been able to lasso this old bachelor yet. I’d like to see them try! I would like that so much. Even just once.
November 8, 2025 at 3:52 AM
No gal’s been able to lasso this old bachelor yet. I’d like to see them try! I would like that so much. Even just once.
You’re lucky my chick’s here, pal. She hates seeing me get my ass kicked.
November 7, 2025 at 6:21 PM
You’re lucky my chick’s here, pal. She hates seeing me get my ass kicked.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
my dog on the daycare webcam
November 6, 2025 at 11:51 PM
my dog on the daycare webcam
Perks of a loveless marriage #6: no date night expenses.
November 6, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Perks of a loveless marriage #6: no date night expenses.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
the first 24-48hrs are critical for finding Waldo
November 6, 2025 at 6:54 PM
the first 24-48hrs are critical for finding Waldo
She said she was leaving me for someone less toxically positive. Everything happens for a reason!
November 6, 2025 at 3:20 AM
She said she was leaving me for someone less toxically positive. Everything happens for a reason!
Reposted by Kip Conlon
If the sandwich didn't explode when it hit, you must acquit.
November 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
If the sandwich didn't explode when it hit, you must acquit.
When I finally learned how to forgive myself my career as an arsonist really took off.
November 5, 2025 at 6:37 PM
When I finally learned how to forgive myself my career as an arsonist really took off.
Well, now that I’ve avoided directly answering if I’m wearing a wire, let’s turn the subject to active crimes.
November 5, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Well, now that I’ve avoided directly answering if I’m wearing a wire, let’s turn the subject to active crimes.
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 AM
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
November 3, 2025 at 9:42 PM
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
Reposted by Kip Conlon
I've taken today off work to enjoy my life for a few hours
October 28, 2025 at 11:54 AM
I've taken today off work to enjoy my life for a few hours