Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
Pinned
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
Mark my words. I will KILL you with kindness. By the way, you look radiant today.
November 27, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Mark my words. I will KILL you with kindness. By the way, you look radiant today.
With what little free time I have, I like to volunteer. Infomercials, magic shows, wherever I’m most needed.
November 27, 2025 at 3:10 AM
With what little free time I have, I like to volunteer. Infomercials, magic shows, wherever I’m most needed.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
When the song isn’t for you but it’s still a good song.
November 24, 2025 at 11:21 PM
When the song isn’t for you but it’s still a good song.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Telling my cat she's my perfect little bowl of cheese because she don't know what the fuck I'm saying
November 21, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Telling my cat she's my perfect little bowl of cheese because she don't know what the fuck I'm saying
Reposted by Kip Conlon
it's more of a pout for help
November 26, 2025 at 5:35 AM
it's more of a pout for help
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
Reposted by Kip Conlon
the names bond. gold bond.
November 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
the names bond. gold bond.
You have to understand these cartoons were made during a different time, when falling off a cliff and making a little “poof” on impact seemed funny.
November 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
You have to understand these cartoons were made during a different time, when falling off a cliff and making a little “poof” on impact seemed funny.
As something of an expert in psychology, I am well aware of the Dunkin-Cougar Effect.
November 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
As something of an expert in psychology, I am well aware of the Dunkin-Cougar Effect.
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
November 26, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
November 26, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
November 26, 2025 at 12:41 AM
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
November 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
November 10, 2023 at 3:52 AM
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.
November 25, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
Karaoke audiences have called my rendition of Wipeout “awkward.”
November 24, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Karaoke audiences have called my rendition of Wipeout “awkward.”
You call this a luau? You call this poi? You call this rumaki? Sorry, I've never been to one of these.
November 24, 2025 at 5:28 PM
You call this a luau? You call this poi? You call this rumaki? Sorry, I've never been to one of these.
We were playing keep-away with Benji's inhaler when Benji suddenly lost all interest.
November 23, 2025 at 10:04 PM
We were playing keep-away with Benji's inhaler when Benji suddenly lost all interest.
Is today your daughter's wedding? Hey, that's great. Anyway, I need you to kill a guy.
November 23, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Is today your daughter's wedding? Hey, that's great. Anyway, I need you to kill a guy.
I'm up for friends with benefits if one of the "benefits" is a loving, caring relationship. But not a dealbreaker.
November 23, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I'm up for friends with benefits if one of the "benefits" is a loving, caring relationship. But not a dealbreaker.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Amazing incorrect lyrics on the karaoke machine yesterday
November 22, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Amazing incorrect lyrics on the karaoke machine yesterday
“Thee to a summer's day, shall I compare?”—Yoda, courting
November 22, 2025 at 6:08 PM
“Thee to a summer's day, shall I compare?”—Yoda, courting
Reposted by Kip Conlon
but what do you do with your napkin rings the rest of the year don’t answer that
November 22, 2025 at 3:51 PM
but what do you do with your napkin rings the rest of the year don’t answer that