J. Michael Mull
@jmichaelmull.bsky.social
I've ran out of clever things to write here about five social networks ago, so I'm just gonna play this out a little bit and see if it sticks.
too mainstream to have an alt, too alt to be considered mainstream
February 11, 2026 at 5:59 AM
too mainstream to have an alt, too alt to be considered mainstream
Of course I studied the classics.
February 11, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Of course I studied the classics.
February’s holiday lineup is an atrocity. Valentine’s Day and its ode to conditional love. No winners here, just couples and singles suffering in different fonts. Presidents' Day? Presidents' Day??? Get fucked. No wonder St. Patrick's Day is so popular. Drinking is the only way to forget this mess
February 11, 2026 at 2:56 AM
February’s holiday lineup is an atrocity. Valentine’s Day and its ode to conditional love. No winners here, just couples and singles suffering in different fonts. Presidents' Day? Presidents' Day??? Get fucked. No wonder St. Patrick's Day is so popular. Drinking is the only way to forget this mess
You know you can add a Rice Krispies Treat to a morning smoothie. I picked up that trick from parents who sneak vegetables into their kids' food to make it healthier. Turns out, deception works both ways
February 11, 2026 at 1:38 AM
You know you can add a Rice Krispies Treat to a morning smoothie. I picked up that trick from parents who sneak vegetables into their kids' food to make it healthier. Turns out, deception works both ways
avoiding eye contact with the nutrition facts so I can have one moment of peace
February 10, 2026 at 9:04 PM
avoiding eye contact with the nutrition facts so I can have one moment of peace
Mechanic: there's a family of squirrels living in your engine block
Me: they're subletting
Me: they're subletting
February 10, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Mechanic: there's a family of squirrels living in your engine block
Me: they're subletting
Me: they're subletting
Shakespeare invented 1,700 words. Is there a difference between the Bard and the Skibidi Toilet? We’ll let history decide.
!["Clavicular almost caught a CAREER-ENDING cortisol spike after a LARPMAXXED stacy tried jesterfying him on stream by calling him a good boy while he was mid-mog between 2 LOW-TIER NORMIES at ASU [crying emoji]"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bxygfvmczgpiz7a4zmhonyrs/bafkreie2pveejd2zxmhxjeu57zu3ww7e2vyojftgzfsmrthj3dnfcyrr3e@jpeg)
February 10, 2026 at 1:32 AM
Shakespeare invented 1,700 words. Is there a difference between the Bard and the Skibidi Toilet? We’ll let history decide.
theoretically, the olympics could host swimming and diving events as long as they featured miniature glaciers with penguins. the kids will go ape shit. that is my working hypothesis, at least.
February 10, 2026 at 1:04 AM
theoretically, the olympics could host swimming and diving events as long as they featured miniature glaciers with penguins. the kids will go ape shit. that is my working hypothesis, at least.
be the Super Bowl ad you want to see in this world
February 9, 2026 at 4:10 PM
be the Super Bowl ad you want to see in this world
meanwhile on earth 2, they’re preparing for woke 4. bring lube
February 9, 2026 at 3:58 PM
meanwhile on earth 2, they’re preparing for woke 4. bring lube
a week ago, some special boy had the audacity to post a pic of himself muting the word "groundhog" for a whole seven days instead of, let’s say, a reasonable 24 hours. Consequently, it would behoove me if everyone talked about nothing but groundhogs all day today. thank you in advance
February 9, 2026 at 2:06 PM
a week ago, some special boy had the audacity to post a pic of himself muting the word "groundhog" for a whole seven days instead of, let’s say, a reasonable 24 hours. Consequently, it would behoove me if everyone talked about nothing but groundhogs all day today. thank you in advance
live translating Bad Bunny for my mother
February 9, 2026 at 1:24 AM
live translating Bad Bunny for my mother
from my limited understanding, the Super Bowl is the Super Bowl of the Oscars
February 8, 2026 at 11:06 PM
from my limited understanding, the Super Bowl is the Super Bowl of the Oscars
Reposted by J. Michael Mull
MONOLOGUE FOR THE “HIDE REPLY FOR ME” OPTION:
Thank you for your reply which, sadly, I find unsuitable. Perhaps, however, it will resonate with someone else. While I do not wish to see, or hear mention of, your reply again, I hope it finds a home—a home of which I shall know nothing. Bonne chance.
Thank you for your reply which, sadly, I find unsuitable. Perhaps, however, it will resonate with someone else. While I do not wish to see, or hear mention of, your reply again, I hope it finds a home—a home of which I shall know nothing. Bonne chance.
February 8, 2026 at 7:10 PM
MONOLOGUE FOR THE “HIDE REPLY FOR ME” OPTION:
Thank you for your reply which, sadly, I find unsuitable. Perhaps, however, it will resonate with someone else. While I do not wish to see, or hear mention of, your reply again, I hope it finds a home—a home of which I shall know nothing. Bonne chance.
Thank you for your reply which, sadly, I find unsuitable. Perhaps, however, it will resonate with someone else. While I do not wish to see, or hear mention of, your reply again, I hope it finds a home—a home of which I shall know nothing. Bonne chance.
it's true and you know it
February 8, 2026 at 6:58 PM
it's true and you know it
searching for a welcome mat that transcends the typical entryway theatrics. I want one that stands firm in quiet dignity
February 8, 2026 at 4:00 PM
searching for a welcome mat that transcends the typical entryway theatrics. I want one that stands firm in quiet dignity
first date at a speakeasy, which is a lot of pressure for someone who mainly communicates through heavy sighs and obscene hand gestures
February 7, 2026 at 11:52 PM
first date at a speakeasy, which is a lot of pressure for someone who mainly communicates through heavy sighs and obscene hand gestures
I don't mean it as a slight in any way, but myself and any man named Cooper have traveled along two separate branches of the human experience
February 7, 2026 at 6:45 PM
I don't mean it as a slight in any way, but myself and any man named Cooper have traveled along two separate branches of the human experience
Jeffrey Epstein is the Kevin Bacon of Kompromat
February 7, 2026 at 5:48 AM
Jeffrey Epstein is the Kevin Bacon of Kompromat
In 2006, Fox burned off the final four Arrested Development episodes against the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, replacing the show with some shite Michael Rapaport sitcom. Neither is technically to blame, but I will carry a grudge against both the Olympics and Rapaport until my dying breath
February 7, 2026 at 1:35 AM
In 2006, Fox burned off the final four Arrested Development episodes against the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, replacing the show with some shite Michael Rapaport sitcom. Neither is technically to blame, but I will carry a grudge against both the Olympics and Rapaport until my dying breath
Reposted by J. Michael Mull
Some blind and low vision fans will get to use haptic tablets at Super Bowl 60. It allows them to feel the ball as it moves around the field. n.pr/49Z7YDT
Blind and low vision fans to experience Super Bowl 60 in new way
Some blind and low vision fans will get to use haptic tablets at Super Bowl 60. It allows them to feel the ball as it moves around the field.
n.pr
February 5, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Some blind and low vision fans will get to use haptic tablets at Super Bowl 60. It allows them to feel the ball as it moves around the field. n.pr/49Z7YDT
Never call a woman a sourpuss. Noted.
February 5, 2026 at 8:06 AM
Never call a woman a sourpuss. Noted.
uh huh, so, are the only adults in the room in the room with you right now?
February 5, 2026 at 7:55 AM
uh huh, so, are the only adults in the room in the room with you right now?
my timeline is increasingly becoming quote posts of twitter screenshots and I don't know why some of you even left there
February 5, 2026 at 1:26 AM
my timeline is increasingly becoming quote posts of twitter screenshots and I don't know why some of you even left there