Smh-luckyme
smh-luckyme.bsky.social
Smh-luckyme
@smh-luckyme.bsky.social
Just a female who breaths.
Pinned
My neighbors are weird and strange you should see them, here I’ll let you borrow my binoculars.
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calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
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Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 PM
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This will be my 300th Thanksgiving!
*in dog years, woof! woof!
November 26, 2025 at 1:32 PM
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me: oh my god!!! i just had the most amazing nap.

doctor: you were under general anesthesia.

me: put…me…back…under
November 26, 2025 at 1:45 PM
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you’re not balding your hair has merely grown a part. folks,,
November 26, 2025 at 1:50 PM
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snap, crackle, pop*

*me walking
November 26, 2025 at 2:02 PM
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love how language learning apps are like “three words you need to know in every language are badminton, wild boar, and frolicsome”
November 26, 2025 at 2:14 PM
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finally got that promotion i’ve been hankering for (modding for a star trek AOL forum)
November 26, 2025 at 2:28 PM
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“and they all came together to scream at each other, filled their faces with pie, and travelled back to their own oblivion”
November 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM
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Ran outta shortbread cookies for my lemon cream pie so I crushed some Italian sprinkle cookies & Stella D’oro Margherites & now I have a 3 cookie crust going & that doesn’t even sound like a mistake
November 26, 2025 at 2:42 PM
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trying to figure out how i can cook thanksgiving dinner from my bathtub
November 26, 2025 at 3:13 PM
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Shut up and chew your multivitamin, Kevin.
November 26, 2025 at 3:29 PM
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I'm beginning to think I'll never find a giant x on the ground marking the spot to buried treasure
November 26, 2025 at 3:45 PM
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When I leave for work, I leave the ceiling fans on because I like to keep our ghosts comfortable.
November 25, 2025 at 2:58 PM
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Her: do you like The Beatles?
Me: Ellen or Rigby is my favorite song
November 25, 2025 at 3:04 PM
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Mushroom coffee is bitter sadness in a cup.
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
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it's a holiday week, everyone, time to get out there and do the least
November 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
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Politely asking everyone at the grocery store to internalize these holiday prices and hold onto that rage through the midterms.
November 25, 2025 at 3:22 PM
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i was told to change the patient, so I did his hair and makeup. fabulously, i might add.
November 25, 2025 at 3:22 PM
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Still punk, I murmur after I gasp aloud at the comfort of my new cozy pants.
November 25, 2025 at 4:26 PM
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Throws my moral compass into the ocean
November 25, 2025 at 4:28 PM
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My daughter asked me if she could have a “little treat” if she was good at the eye doctor.

My daughter is 21.

(I still said yes)
November 25, 2025 at 4:57 PM
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You should be able call out of work "hmm, not feeling it"
November 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
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If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. *gets a lobotomy*
November 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM