maggie
@magpie-maggie.bsky.social
trinket collector, void screamer, cheese fiend
Reposted by maggie
When people say "you can't eat gravel" what they actually mean is "it's not easy or normal to eat gravel." Big difference.
November 19, 2025 at 6:49 PM
When people say "you can't eat gravel" what they actually mean is "it's not easy or normal to eat gravel." Big difference.
Reposted by maggie
I think I'd know if one of my toes left my body and went to market
November 18, 2025 at 11:52 PM
I think I'd know if one of my toes left my body and went to market
Reposted by maggie
breakfast is a gateway drug to harder meals, such as lunch
November 19, 2025 at 6:53 PM
breakfast is a gateway drug to harder meals, such as lunch
Reposted by maggie
throw me in a pile of leaves and run me over as a treat
November 19, 2025 at 12:56 AM
throw me in a pile of leaves and run me over as a treat
Reposted by maggie
Frantically deleting all my negative posts about The Hamburglar after I get a job at McDonald’s
November 18, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Frantically deleting all my negative posts about The Hamburglar after I get a job at McDonald’s
Reposted by maggie
You can drill a hole in a bicycle frame and fill it to the brim with cheddar & broccoli soup and then weld the hole shut and paint over it. Nobody has to know
November 18, 2025 at 1:32 PM
You can drill a hole in a bicycle frame and fill it to the brim with cheddar & broccoli soup and then weld the hole shut and paint over it. Nobody has to know
Reposted by maggie
Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning
November 18, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning
Reposted by maggie
holding my girls hair back while she has diarrhea
November 18, 2025 at 12:21 AM
holding my girls hair back while she has diarrhea
Reposted by maggie
Lying in bed thinking about a new and more powerful form of sandwich
November 17, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Lying in bed thinking about a new and more powerful form of sandwich
Reposted by maggie
went to the flash mob but didn't see a single boob 🥲
November 15, 2025 at 2:05 PM
went to the flash mob but didn't see a single boob 🥲
Reposted by maggie
AirBnB implies the existence of EarthBnB, WaterBnB, and FireBnB.
November 14, 2025 at 10:37 AM
AirBnB implies the existence of EarthBnB, WaterBnB, and FireBnB.
Reposted by maggie
The whole mall is strippers?
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 AM
The whole mall is strippers?
Reposted by maggie
I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed
Reposted by maggie
skinwalker ranch dressing
November 13, 2025 at 1:41 AM
skinwalker ranch dressing
Reposted by maggie
Reposted by maggie
if i unclench my butthole my insides might fall out, and other miscellaneous 3AM worries
November 9, 2025 at 8:55 AM
if i unclench my butthole my insides might fall out, and other miscellaneous 3AM worries
Reposted by maggie
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
November 7, 2025 at 2:41 PM
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
Reposted by maggie
Oh come on, you know him. He's the one who likes all our pretty songs? Sings along? Shoots his gun? Kinda slow on the uptake?
November 7, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Oh come on, you know him. He's the one who likes all our pretty songs? Sings along? Shoots his gun? Kinda slow on the uptake?
Reposted by maggie
Hello panda garden. I'd LOVE to visit your garden of pandas! Oh....I see. You're a restaurant. Then I'd like to order one panda, medium rare
November 6, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Hello panda garden. I'd LOVE to visit your garden of pandas! Oh....I see. You're a restaurant. Then I'd like to order one panda, medium rare
Reposted by maggie
i will find you in every life (threatening)
November 6, 2025 at 9:36 PM
i will find you in every life (threatening)
Reposted by maggie
three seasons in and Ted still hasn’t used a lasso wtf
November 6, 2025 at 11:23 PM
three seasons in and Ted still hasn’t used a lasso wtf
Reposted by maggie
you jerk off. i nice guy off. we are not the same.
November 7, 2025 at 2:55 AM
you jerk off. i nice guy off. we are not the same.
Reposted by maggie
they tied my dick in a knot at the glory hole and now i can't get out
November 7, 2025 at 2:48 AM
they tied my dick in a knot at the glory hole and now i can't get out
