@lid2000.bsky.social
I'm trying to recreate my 2009-era Twitter experience (basically follow a bunch of unhinged people and hope for the best)
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They had a show in the 90’s called Taz Mania where Taz had a family that dressed like humans which establishes that he wasn’t actually a wild animal but just sort of a weird naked guy
September 27, 2025 at 2:48 AM
They had a show in the 90’s called Taz Mania where Taz had a family that dressed like humans which establishes that he wasn’t actually a wild animal but just sort of a weird naked guy
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DATE: i hate guys who lie
ME: (trying to impress) i sleep standing up
ME: (trying to impress) i sleep standing up
September 17, 2025 at 1:17 AM
DATE: i hate guys who lie
ME: (trying to impress) i sleep standing up
ME: (trying to impress) i sleep standing up
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤠
🐿🐌🐴
🦂 🦈 🐈
👇🏽 🦀🦀 👇🏽
🦅 🦇
🐛 🦎
👢 👢
howdy. i'm the sheriff of animals & these crabs make me undesirable
🐿🐌🐴
🦂 🦈 🐈
👇🏽 🦀🦀 👇🏽
🦅 🦇
🐛 🦎
👢 👢
howdy. i'm the sheriff of animals & these crabs make me undesirable
January 25, 2025 at 1:42 PM
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤠
🐿🐌🐴
🦂 🦈 🐈
👇🏽 🦀🦀 👇🏽
🦅 🦇
🐛 🦎
👢 👢
howdy. i'm the sheriff of animals & these crabs make me undesirable
🐿🐌🐴
🦂 🦈 🐈
👇🏽 🦀🦀 👇🏽
🦅 🦇
🐛 🦎
👢 👢
howdy. i'm the sheriff of animals & these crabs make me undesirable
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[time travels back to 1860]
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and they call this a “pocket pussy”?
ME: *nods*
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and you…? *geatures with his finger*
ME: exactly
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: fascinating
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and they call this a “pocket pussy”?
ME: *nods*
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and you…? *geatures with his finger*
ME: exactly
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: fascinating
January 25, 2025 at 11:34 PM
[time travels back to 1860]
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and they call this a “pocket pussy”?
ME: *nods*
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and you…? *geatures with his finger*
ME: exactly
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: fascinating
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and they call this a “pocket pussy”?
ME: *nods*
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: and you…? *geatures with his finger*
ME: exactly
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: fascinating
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I always ask on the first date if they like smoochin because I don’t want them to be surprised later by my twisted passions.
January 24, 2025 at 1:37 AM
I always ask on the first date if they like smoochin because I don’t want them to be surprised later by my twisted passions.
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I'm going to buy Mr. Beast
January 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I'm going to buy Mr. Beast
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hey we saw you across the hot tub and noticed you seem really uncomfortable
January 17, 2025 at 12:32 AM
hey we saw you across the hot tub and noticed you seem really uncomfortable
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Teen: But why can't I have a Segway?
Dad [slams fist on counter]: Because no son of mine is going to drown in pussy!
Dad [slams fist on counter]: Because no son of mine is going to drown in pussy!
November 12, 2024 at 9:53 PM
Teen: But why can't I have a Segway?
Dad [slams fist on counter]: Because no son of mine is going to drown in pussy!
Dad [slams fist on counter]: Because no son of mine is going to drown in pussy!
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I’m an optimist
December 17, 2024 at 10:28 PM
I’m an optimist
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full-torso tattoo of the park map to Six Flags
December 13, 2024 at 5:06 AM
full-torso tattoo of the park map to Six Flags
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tfw you take way too much benadryl
December 12, 2024 at 6:42 PM
tfw you take way too much benadryl
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*realizing there was a small error in the beautiful missive I just sent by carrier pigeon* well shit. Fuck. Someone get my slingshot
October 30, 2024 at 1:19 AM
*realizing there was a small error in the beautiful missive I just sent by carrier pigeon* well shit. Fuck. Someone get my slingshot
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sorry extroverts, but “having a personality” is not a personality. grow up
December 12, 2024 at 1:57 AM
sorry extroverts, but “having a personality” is not a personality. grow up
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a “Full English” is when you prank a buddy by secretly filling their toilet tank to the brim with baked beans
December 12, 2024 at 2:08 AM
a “Full English” is when you prank a buddy by secretly filling their toilet tank to the brim with baked beans
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Oh god though. Imagine being a flintstones and getting an appliance that's really into it. Like, everyone else's vacuum beast is all "it's a living" and yours is just snuffling about the place going "yes daddy more, more". Toilet pelican quietly whispering "thank you".
December 4, 2024 at 6:26 PM
Oh god though. Imagine being a flintstones and getting an appliance that's really into it. Like, everyone else's vacuum beast is all "it's a living" and yours is just snuffling about the place going "yes daddy more, more". Toilet pelican quietly whispering "thank you".
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♫ 12 drummers drumming
♫ 11 pipers piping
♫ 10 lords a-leaping
♫ 9 ladies dancing
♫ 8 maids a-milking
♫ 7 swans a-swimming
♫ 6 geese a-laying
♫
♫ 11 pipers piping
♫ 10 lords a-leaping
♫ 9 ladies dancing
♫ 8 maids a-milking
♫ 7 swans a-swimming
♫ 6 geese a-laying
♫
December 3, 2024 at 5:45 PM
♫ 12 drummers drumming
♫ 11 pipers piping
♫ 10 lords a-leaping
♫ 9 ladies dancing
♫ 8 maids a-milking
♫ 7 swans a-swimming
♫ 6 geese a-laying
♫
♫ 11 pipers piping
♫ 10 lords a-leaping
♫ 9 ladies dancing
♫ 8 maids a-milking
♫ 7 swans a-swimming
♫ 6 geese a-laying
♫
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No one:
Americans: I'm 70% Italian and 30% Irish
Americans: I'm 70% Italian and 30% Irish
December 3, 2024 at 8:20 AM
No one:
Americans: I'm 70% Italian and 30% Irish
Americans: I'm 70% Italian and 30% Irish
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reverse cowgirl so i can look at all the cool jibbitz on his crocs
December 3, 2024 at 3:26 AM
reverse cowgirl so i can look at all the cool jibbitz on his crocs
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What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.
December 2, 2024 at 3:36 AM
What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.
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Apparently no sound cuts through the ambiance of a fine dining restaurant quite like the unmistakable noise of my wallet being unvelcroed
November 26, 2024 at 8:19 PM
Apparently no sound cuts through the ambiance of a fine dining restaurant quite like the unmistakable noise of my wallet being unvelcroed
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The Hero's Journey, but it's me rehearsing every possible permutation of a conversation before placing a phonecall
November 24, 2024 at 6:03 PM
The Hero's Journey, but it's me rehearsing every possible permutation of a conversation before placing a phonecall
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the guy in Titanic who hits the propeller starts spinning around like that because he absorbed its abilities
November 30, 2024 at 12:34 AM
the guy in Titanic who hits the propeller starts spinning around like that because he absorbed its abilities
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gf: *texting* u coming over this way tonight ;)
me: [in a hot air ballon] no idea
me: [in a hot air ballon] no idea
November 29, 2024 at 8:22 PM
gf: *texting* u coming over this way tonight ;)
me: [in a hot air ballon] no idea
me: [in a hot air ballon] no idea
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In case no one has told you lately:
1. You are strong
2. You are beautiful
3. Sea cucumbers have fish that live in their buttholes and eat their ever-regenerating gonads like some sort of sick undersea Prometheus
4. You are deserving of love
1. You are strong
2. You are beautiful
3. Sea cucumbers have fish that live in their buttholes and eat their ever-regenerating gonads like some sort of sick undersea Prometheus
4. You are deserving of love
January 18, 2024 at 4:21 AM
In case no one has told you lately:
1. You are strong
2. You are beautiful
3. Sea cucumbers have fish that live in their buttholes and eat their ever-regenerating gonads like some sort of sick undersea Prometheus
4. You are deserving of love
1. You are strong
2. You are beautiful
3. Sea cucumbers have fish that live in their buttholes and eat their ever-regenerating gonads like some sort of sick undersea Prometheus
4. You are deserving of love