Reposted by dan mentos
Help mom I’m being bullied by 87 year old novella writer Joyce Carol Oates again can you pick me up
November 11, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Help mom I’m being bullied by 87 year old novella writer Joyce Carol Oates again can you pick me up
Reposted by dan mentos
we need a Democratic party for the left
May 21, 2025 at 3:58 PM
we need a Democratic party for the left
Reposted by dan mentos
Cool photo I took a few seconds after waking up when Joe Camel hit me with his car
November 6, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Cool photo I took a few seconds after waking up when Joe Camel hit me with his car
sorry, just got this. are you guys still at the spooktacular?
November 8, 2025 at 4:38 AM
sorry, just got this. are you guys still at the spooktacular?
Reposted by dan mentos
November 8, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Reposted by dan mentos
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
November 8, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
Reposted by dan mentos
Might mess around and withdraw the energy from my senses for around 7–8 hours, becoming much less responsive to stimuli
August 16, 2024 at 3:17 AM
Might mess around and withdraw the energy from my senses for around 7–8 hours, becoming much less responsive to stimuli
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
November 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
[hot ones]
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
me: *finishes off gallon of milk*
sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing
Reposted by dan mentos
Gotta say, I’m not so confident that you do
November 7, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Gotta say, I’m not so confident that you do
Reposted by dan mentos
Right about now, the honk shoo brother
November 6, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Right about now, the honk shoo brother
Heads up! If your feed feels especially sparse and devoid of thoughtless drivel lately, check your content filter settings. While well intended, the new default settings are borderline draconian
November 6, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Heads up! If your feed feels especially sparse and devoid of thoughtless drivel lately, check your content filter settings. While well intended, the new default settings are borderline draconian
Reposted by dan mentos
How pissed would you be if you were giving a smooch to a frog and it turned into a human man. Oh I gotta deal with this guy now
June 17, 2023 at 11:26 PM
How pissed would you be if you were giving a smooch to a frog and it turned into a human man. Oh I gotta deal with this guy now
Reposted by dan mentos
Wow private equity strikes again I guess 😡
November 2, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Wow private equity strikes again I guess 😡
Reposted by dan mentos
everyone automatically clacks these twice upon picking them up because deep down we all know we’re crabs
February 22, 2024 at 3:14 AM
everyone automatically clacks these twice upon picking them up because deep down we all know we’re crabs
that was truly the world series of poker of baseball
November 2, 2025 at 4:56 AM
that was truly the world series of poker of baseball
Reposted by dan mentos
My neighbour still has his Halloween decorations up!
November 1, 2025 at 4:53 AM
My neighbour still has his Halloween decorations up!
Reposted by dan mentos
"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
September 25, 2023 at 3:49 PM
"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Reposted by dan mentos
me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
May 2, 2024 at 3:02 PM
me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
trick or treating is so bad this year. almost no one giving out candy or even coming to the door
October 31, 2025 at 2:18 AM
trick or treating is so bad this year. almost no one giving out candy or even coming to the door
Reposted by dan mentos
I'm really asking a lot of these multivitamins
October 30, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I'm really asking a lot of these multivitamins
Reposted by dan mentos
Sincere post: it is one of the greatest joys of my adult life to be able to see the magic of the holidays renewed through the eyes of a younger generation. Hunting for eggs on Easter, Trick or Treating on Halloween, hiding under the covers so the Night Turkey doesn't peck your penis off, Santa Claus
October 30, 2023 at 2:41 PM
Sincere post: it is one of the greatest joys of my adult life to be able to see the magic of the holidays renewed through the eyes of a younger generation. Hunting for eggs on Easter, Trick or Treating on Halloween, hiding under the covers so the Night Turkey doesn't peck your penis off, Santa Claus
Reposted by dan mentos
Dreamed I was drinking a new subtype of Twinings English Breakfast tea called Tragic Accent
April 17, 2024 at 1:21 PM
Dreamed I was drinking a new subtype of Twinings English Breakfast tea called Tragic Accent
ten years ago we fucking loved science. now we skibidi toilet chicken jockey six seven
October 29, 2025 at 6:59 PM
ten years ago we fucking loved science. now we skibidi toilet chicken jockey six seven
Reposted by dan mentos
I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them
October 29, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them
Reposted by dan mentos
is that baseball game still going
October 11, 2025 at 3:37 PM
is that baseball game still going