'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
@brainmage.bsky.social
Comedian/writer/voice artist/wizard. #ADHD (he/him)
Fine art photos: http://hyperfocus.photography
Stream: http://Twitch.tv/brainmage
Tips: http://ko-fi.com/guy
VO character reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04UiLVl6n0I
Fine art photos: http://hyperfocus.photography
Stream: http://Twitch.tv/brainmage
Tips: http://ko-fi.com/guy
VO character reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04UiLVl6n0I
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Hey! You! Have you played my game about strangling a horse? You should! It's free to play, and you will die LOADS!
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
i will strangle a horse by BRAINMAGE
A comedy twine-based choose-your-own-adventure game where it's your first day on The Farm, and you have One Job
brainmage.itch.io
February 9, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Hey! You! Have you played my game about strangling a horse? You should! It's free to play, and you will die LOADS!
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
Hey! You! Have you played my game about strangling a horse? You should! It's free to play, and you will die LOADS!
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
i will strangle a horse by BRAINMAGE
A comedy twine-based choose-your-own-adventure game where it's your first day on The Farm, and you have One Job
brainmage.itch.io
February 9, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Hey! You! Have you played my game about strangling a horse? You should! It's free to play, and you will die LOADS!
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
13,500 words of comedy choose-your-own-adventure silliness, just for you!
brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Back on twitter the only thing I had in my drafts was a single tweet and I have long since forgotten what it was about but I stand by it
February 9, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Back on twitter the only thing I had in my drafts was a single tweet and I have long since forgotten what it was about but I stand by it
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Every depiction of ‘peer pressure’ to take drugs on TV growing up literally never, not once, happened in real life for drugs
Or for anything, until, decades later, it is literally happening for AI
Or for anything, until, decades later, it is literally happening for AI
No one has ever tried to sell me drugs as hard as people try to sell me on AI.
February 9, 2026 at 8:15 PM
Every depiction of ‘peer pressure’ to take drugs on TV growing up literally never, not once, happened in real life for drugs
Or for anything, until, decades later, it is literally happening for AI
Or for anything, until, decades later, it is literally happening for AI
I am at the arse end of a cold. Just full of grot and tired and sniffly. As god is my witness I am going to be a HUGE baby about this
February 9, 2026 at 7:22 PM
I am at the arse end of a cold. Just full of grot and tired and sniffly. As god is my witness I am going to be a HUGE baby about this
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
I have further added to my website! You can see things i have written!
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Writing — Focussed Silliness
Guykelly.co.uk
February 8, 2026 at 6:11 PM
I have further added to my website! You can see things i have written!
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Good time to remind everyone that "no fap" and similar anti masturbation pushes are — and this is not hyperbole — literal Third Reich Nazi propaganda that was digested through the bowels of 4chan and shat out in its current form.
Alexander Rhodes, founder of NoFap, the much-maligned anti-masturbation group, has filed suit against researchers he claims are part of a vast conspiracy to defame him, along with Aylo, owner of Pornhub, and 150-year-old peer-reviewed scientific journal Taylor & Francis.
NoFap Founder Sues Aylo, UCLA, Scientists & Academic Publisher AVN
Aylo leads a class of defendants in a state-level defamation lawsuit brought by the founder of NoFap, a controversial anti-pornography group.
avn.com
February 8, 2026 at 8:52 PM
Good time to remind everyone that "no fap" and similar anti masturbation pushes are — and this is not hyperbole — literal Third Reich Nazi propaganda that was digested through the bowels of 4chan and shat out in its current form.
Might just stand in a circle of salt to see if it protects me from Emails
February 9, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Might just stand in a circle of salt to see if it protects me from Emails
Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! I am all snotty! I have made wild, sweeping changes to OBS! Will things work? Who knows!
www.twitch.tv/brainmage
www.twitch.tv/brainmage
brainmage - Twitch
Guy Kelly. Comedian, voice actor, and general nerd. UK-based variety streamer. Cryptic crosswords during the day, and videogames at night. Like a LAN café in an old folks home. guykellyalloneword@gmai...
www.twitch.tv
February 9, 2026 at 12:12 PM
Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! I am all snotty! I have made wild, sweeping changes to OBS! Will things work? Who knows!
www.twitch.tv/brainmage
www.twitch.tv/brainmage
No Man's Sky is genuinely a miracle. Just...staggering.
February 9, 2026 at 11:07 AM
No Man's Sky is genuinely a miracle. Just...staggering.
This poem is called "big name coffee youtuber"
Your livelihood is dependent
on finding new brewing techniques
hints and tips
ways to use your expensive machines
pretending any of it tastes different
Deep down, you want an instant
nine sugars
I can see it in your eyes
Your livelihood is dependent
on finding new brewing techniques
hints and tips
ways to use your expensive machines
pretending any of it tastes different
Deep down, you want an instant
nine sugars
I can see it in your eyes
February 9, 2026 at 10:34 AM
This poem is called "big name coffee youtuber"
Your livelihood is dependent
on finding new brewing techniques
hints and tips
ways to use your expensive machines
pretending any of it tastes different
Deep down, you want an instant
nine sugars
I can see it in your eyes
Your livelihood is dependent
on finding new brewing techniques
hints and tips
ways to use your expensive machines
pretending any of it tastes different
Deep down, you want an instant
nine sugars
I can see it in your eyes
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Just had to submit a refund request on Steam. All I wrote was “I am far too stupid to play this game”
Refunded an hour later, thank you valve
Refunded an hour later, thank you valve
February 9, 2026 at 9:04 AM
Just had to submit a refund request on Steam. All I wrote was “I am far too stupid to play this game”
Refunded an hour later, thank you valve
Refunded an hour later, thank you valve
Two lumps of "I am clever" news:
I have only just realised I don't need OBS to have ALL videos loaded in the background. I can just...have them load when needed! OBS no longer uses FOUR AND A BIT *GIGS* OF RAM
I have just used winget to update software. Lifechanging.
I have only just realised I don't need OBS to have ALL videos loaded in the background. I can just...have them load when needed! OBS no longer uses FOUR AND A BIT *GIGS* OF RAM
I have just used winget to update software. Lifechanging.
February 8, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Two lumps of "I am clever" news:
I have only just realised I don't need OBS to have ALL videos loaded in the background. I can just...have them load when needed! OBS no longer uses FOUR AND A BIT *GIGS* OF RAM
I have just used winget to update software. Lifechanging.
I have only just realised I don't need OBS to have ALL videos loaded in the background. I can just...have them load when needed! OBS no longer uses FOUR AND A BIT *GIGS* OF RAM
I have just used winget to update software. Lifechanging.
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
People often talk about double yolk eggs, but nobody ever brings up the difficult second albumen
February 8, 2026 at 6:10 PM
People often talk about double yolk eggs, but nobody ever brings up the difficult second albumen
God I could really go for some fucking uber-woke net-zero rejoinerism. Fuck me running. Imagine. Imagine the sigh of relief. It would be like carrying an entire castle in your backpack and finally being able to put it down
February 8, 2026 at 6:28 PM
God I could really go for some fucking uber-woke net-zero rejoinerism. Fuck me running. Imagine. Imagine the sigh of relief. It would be like carrying an entire castle in your backpack and finally being able to put it down
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
If you liked this (and you should), you can buy a print of it illustrated by my lovely wife (and you should)
www.chickenscratch.co.uk/shop/the-mil...
www.chickenscratch.co.uk/shop/the-mil...
November 13, 2024 at 11:39 AM
If you liked this (and you should), you can buy a print of it illustrated by my lovely wife (and you should)
www.chickenscratch.co.uk/shop/the-mil...
www.chickenscratch.co.uk/shop/the-mil...
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
This has been read out at people's weddings. I wield far too much power.
Love is chill, love is dank. It does not thirst, it does not flex, it is not extra. It does not cancel others, it is not sus, it is not salty, it keeps no receipts. Love does not spill tea but rejoices with the woke. It always stans, is always fam, is always G.O.A.T, always slays
September 19, 2025 at 9:54 PM
This has been read out at people's weddings. I wield far too much power.
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
Love is chill, love is dank. It does not thirst, it does not flex, it is not extra. It does not cancel others, it is not sus, it is not salty, it keeps no receipts. Love does not spill tea but rejoices with the woke. It always stans, is always fam, is always G.O.A.T, always slays
November 26, 2023 at 5:07 PM
Love is chill, love is dank. It does not thirst, it does not flex, it is not extra. It does not cancel others, it is not sus, it is not salty, it keeps no receipts. Love does not spill tea but rejoices with the woke. It always stans, is always fam, is always G.O.A.T, always slays
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
zoomer Huey Lewis' hit song It's Based To Be Cringe
February 8, 2026 at 4:09 PM
zoomer Huey Lewis' hit song It's Based To Be Cringe
I have further added to my website! You can see things i have written!
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Writing — Focussed Silliness
Guykelly.co.uk
February 8, 2026 at 6:11 PM
I have further added to my website! You can see things i have written!
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Maybe, god help me, I will one day put up some fiction!
Guykelly.co.uk/writing
Once again looking at a secondhand 100-400mm lens. Surely THIS is what will finally make me happy? Surely??
February 8, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Once again looking at a secondhand 100-400mm lens. Surely THIS is what will finally make me happy? Surely??
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
there's a vr port of the ms-dos version of ultima 4 and it goes hard as fuck sidequestvr.com/app/8127/ank...
ANKH VR on SideQuest Oculus Quest Games & Apps including AppLab Games ( Oculus App Lab )
ANKH VR is a VR port of Ultima IV Quest of the Avatar where you travel to the distant world of Britannia in a quest to become the Avatar. This game was first released in 1985 for the Apple II personal...
sidequestvr.com
February 8, 2026 at 2:41 PM
there's a vr port of the ms-dos version of ultima 4 and it goes hard as fuck sidequestvr.com/app/8127/ank...
Reposted by 'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io
out with people, I look at my phone
"did work stuff come up"
me: yeah sorry one sec
as I post on bluesky: you've heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches well I just tried peanut butter and jelly both on the same sandwich! no more eating one for each ingredient two sandwiches is too much bread
"did work stuff come up"
me: yeah sorry one sec
as I post on bluesky: you've heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches well I just tried peanut butter and jelly both on the same sandwich! no more eating one for each ingredient two sandwiches is too much bread
February 8, 2026 at 3:42 AM
out with people, I look at my phone
"did work stuff come up"
me: yeah sorry one sec
as I post on bluesky: you've heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches well I just tried peanut butter and jelly both on the same sandwich! no more eating one for each ingredient two sandwiches is too much bread
"did work stuff come up"
me: yeah sorry one sec
as I post on bluesky: you've heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches well I just tried peanut butter and jelly both on the same sandwich! no more eating one for each ingredient two sandwiches is too much bread
I agree. They should give it away to me. So I can buy it as well. And then someone ELSE gets my money, in a beautiful circle of life.
if you buy this someone should take the rest of your money and give it away
February 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
I agree. They should give it away to me. So I can buy it as well. And then someone ELSE gets my money, in a beautiful circle of life.