batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
my mom fucked a bat
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
Pinned
batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
· Jul 5
I stand under the shower's spray—blood from my would-be usurper clone twisting down the drain—and slowly realize all my scars are missing…
Reposted by batkaren
I’m digitally inserting post credit sequences into antique movies. Nick Fury just showed up at Mary Pickford’s house.
May 17, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I’m digitally inserting post credit sequences into antique movies. Nick Fury just showed up at Mary Pickford’s house.
Reposted by batkaren
Ask your doctor if Misanthropy™ is right for you.
November 9, 2024 at 6:42 PM
Ask your doctor if Misanthropy™ is right for you.
Reposted by batkaren
I'd eat less mcdonalds if other restaurants also had a ketchup tap for folks lookin to get wild with their soda
November 14, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I'd eat less mcdonalds if other restaurants also had a ketchup tap for folks lookin to get wild with their soda
Reposted by batkaren
Hate when my country rolls out new terms of service
September 16, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Hate when my country rolls out new terms of service
Reposted by batkaren
the face i make when i have a great idea, before i realize the inevitable repercussions
October 30, 2025 at 12:36 PM
the face i make when i have a great idea, before i realize the inevitable repercussions
Reposted by batkaren
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
November 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
Reposted by batkaren
They want $60 for an hour at the axe throwing place? For that money I can buy a case of beer and my own axe, and throw it at whatever I want until I'm arrested again
November 14, 2025 at 5:20 AM
They want $60 for an hour at the axe throwing place? For that money I can buy a case of beer and my own axe, and throw it at whatever I want until I'm arrested again
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
November 15, 2025 at 1:11 AM
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
Reposted by batkaren
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.
November 8, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.
Reposted by batkaren
When you're a kid, no one ever warns you how much of adulthood is filled with random heartburn
November 14, 2025 at 6:04 AM
When you're a kid, no one ever warns you how much of adulthood is filled with random heartburn
Reposted by batkaren
let me be the first to say we should not do a nazi jurassic park
November 14, 2025 at 4:07 AM
let me be the first to say we should not do a nazi jurassic park
Reposted by batkaren
i got tide pods for the first time and for the first time i get it; these are playthings
October 26, 2025 at 1:39 AM
i got tide pods for the first time and for the first time i get it; these are playthings
Reposted by batkaren
The best sex is like a game of Clue. Six people in attendance, no one's afraid to use a candlestick. Tim Curry is there.
November 12, 2025 at 1:50 AM
The best sex is like a game of Clue. Six people in attendance, no one's afraid to use a candlestick. Tim Curry is there.
Reposted by batkaren
Should I clean my house or call a Febreze location scout?
November 14, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Should I clean my house or call a Febreze location scout?
I get to the interplanetary brunch, and my friends all look at me, the sole Earthling at the table.
One asks, "How are you holding up there, buddy?"
“We've all been thinking about you…,” says another.
One asks, "How are you holding up there, buddy?"
“We've all been thinking about you…,” says another.
November 14, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I get to the interplanetary brunch, and my friends all look at me, the sole Earthling at the table.
One asks, "How are you holding up there, buddy?"
“We've all been thinking about you…,” says another.
One asks, "How are you holding up there, buddy?"
“We've all been thinking about you…,” says another.
Reposted by batkaren
i just told my daughter she couldn’t wear the same outfit a second day in a row and she said “my signature style is dirty”
November 12, 2025 at 12:58 AM
i just told my daughter she couldn’t wear the same outfit a second day in a row and she said “my signature style is dirty”
Reposted by batkaren
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
November 10, 2025 at 12:56 PM
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
Reposted by batkaren
ranking grandparents by % racist
November 13, 2025 at 3:13 AM
ranking grandparents by % racist
Try to deny it, The New Yorker.
November 13, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Try to deny it, The New Yorker.
“Everyone dies penniless now!” cheered White House officials.
The American penny died on Wednesday in Philadelphia. It was 232. The cause was irrelevance and expensiveness, the Treasury Department said. Nothing could be bought any more with a penny, as the cost to mint the penny had risen to more than 3 cents. nyti.ms/48bFd5K
November 12, 2025 at 7:53 PM
“Everyone dies penniless now!” cheered White House officials.
Okay, but Dr. Frankenstein is the father of his creation, meaning the creature IS named Frankenstein.
November 12, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Okay, but Dr. Frankenstein is the father of his creation, meaning the creature IS named Frankenstein.
You know whose political platform is always relevant? That "Rent Is Too Damned High" guy.
November 11, 2025 at 11:43 PM
You know whose political platform is always relevant? That "Rent Is Too Damned High" guy.
Reposted by batkaren
A furloughed possibly daydrunk Smokey Bear honestly no longer harbors a scintilla of faith in your ability to prevent forest fires.
November 7, 2025 at 7:55 PM
A furloughed possibly daydrunk Smokey Bear honestly no longer harbors a scintilla of faith in your ability to prevent forest fires.
Reposted by batkaren
Pop goes the weasel.
Japanese giant SoftBank said Tuesday it has sold its entire stake in tech giant Nvidia for $5.83 billion.
Click here to read more: https://cnb.cx/49LCIs8
Click here to read more: https://cnb.cx/49LCIs8
November 11, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Pop goes the weasel.
Reposted by batkaren
stores you can wander around in should give you a button when you enter, to pin on your clothes, that lights up when you press it. this is to indicate that you want an employee to offer to help you. If it is not lit they must leave you alone. actually I'd love this for the rest of life too.
November 8, 2025 at 7:09 PM
stores you can wander around in should give you a button when you enter, to pin on your clothes, that lights up when you press it. this is to indicate that you want an employee to offer to help you. If it is not lit they must leave you alone. actually I'd love this for the rest of life too.