Discount Storytime
@discountstorytime.com
The "Discount Storytime" podcast provides weekly absurd short stories to make you laugh. Enjoy!
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Playing around in my little studio and my first attempt at recording music. VERY different than recording voice!
I hope if you give it a listen it gives you pleasure.
#music #instrumental
I hope if you give it a listen it gives you pleasure.
#music #instrumental
Reposted by Discount Storytime
when life gives you demons, make demonade
February 16, 2026 at 5:33 PM
when life gives you demons, make demonade
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oh you’re poor? have you considered nepotism?
February 16, 2026 at 4:05 PM
oh you’re poor? have you considered nepotism?
I hope this threatening missive finds you well.
February 16, 2026 at 2:21 PM
I hope this threatening missive finds you well.
Merry President’s Day to all who celebrate!
a dog is standing on its hind legs with a musical note on its back .
ALT: a dog is standing on its hind legs with a musical note on its back .
media.tenor.com
February 16, 2026 at 1:06 PM
Merry President’s Day to all who celebrate!
Watching the stunts in action movies and thinking to myself “I could do that.” While in real life, I can’t put on pants without falling over.
February 16, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Watching the stunts in action movies and thinking to myself “I could do that.” While in real life, I can’t put on pants without falling over.
Reposted by Discount Storytime
Eating a slice of cake while daydreaming about eating my next slice of cake
February 16, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Eating a slice of cake while daydreaming about eating my next slice of cake
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a radioactive spider bit me and now it won’t get out of bed
February 15, 2026 at 1:23 PM
a radioactive spider bit me and now it won’t get out of bed
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AQUAMAN: this is my best watercolor painting yet
[later, back in Atlantis]
AM: no no no noooooooo
[later, back in Atlantis]
AM: no no no noooooooo
February 15, 2026 at 2:38 PM
AQUAMAN: this is my best watercolor painting yet
[later, back in Atlantis]
AM: no no no noooooooo
[later, back in Atlantis]
AM: no no no noooooooo
Reposted by Discount Storytime
Fight - Flight - and a secret 3rd thing
February 16, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Fight - Flight - and a secret 3rd thing
Reposted by Discount Storytime
I’m meeting myself where I’m at instead of fighting it.
Life gets loud. Kids, work, stress, fatigue—sometimes the words come in whispers instead of floods.
Slow still counts. Showing up still counts.
#AuthorSky
Life gets loud. Kids, work, stress, fatigue—sometimes the words come in whispers instead of floods.
Slow still counts. Showing up still counts.
#AuthorSky
February 16, 2026 at 12:09 AM
I’m meeting myself where I’m at instead of fighting it.
Life gets loud. Kids, work, stress, fatigue—sometimes the words come in whispers instead of floods.
Slow still counts. Showing up still counts.
#AuthorSky
Life gets loud. Kids, work, stress, fatigue—sometimes the words come in whispers instead of floods.
Slow still counts. Showing up still counts.
#AuthorSky
Reposted by Discount Storytime
if elected, i will be the first official to pull down my pants and reveal that a cartoon likeness of richard nixon's face has been drawn on my butt
February 16, 2026 at 12:12 AM
if elected, i will be the first official to pull down my pants and reveal that a cartoon likeness of richard nixon's face has been drawn on my butt
Reposted by Discount Storytime
A guy at work was telling us all a story about his hot water heater. I chimed in that it’s actually called a water heater and that hot water wouldn’t need to be heated. No one ever sits with me at lunch.
February 2, 2026 at 4:35 AM
A guy at work was telling us all a story about his hot water heater. I chimed in that it’s actually called a water heater and that hot water wouldn’t need to be heated. No one ever sits with me at lunch.
Reposted by Discount Storytime
When you're over 40, the sentence "come hang out and have fun with us tonight" is a threat
June 21, 2025 at 2:16 AM
When you're over 40, the sentence "come hang out and have fun with us tonight" is a threat
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I hope
Today
I
Matter
Today
I
Matter
If you support
Transgender woman
Like me
And do not
Want to see
Me die
Here is a
Way to help
Me
#supportttans
#transcrowdfund
gogetfunding.com/lilith-survi...
Transgender woman
Like me
And do not
Want to see
Me die
Here is a
Way to help
Me
#supportttans
#transcrowdfund
gogetfunding.com/lilith-survi...
Lilith survive
hi I am Lilith I am 19 trans who also has learning difficulties and autism I am needing help with my life Medical housing food I broke my leg and am not able to work I was riding my bike to work and f...
gogetfunding.com
February 15, 2026 at 4:45 PM
I hope
Today
I
Matter
Today
I
Matter
Reposted by Discount Storytime
- Titillate your mind and learn about an amorous topic such as epilepsy or the plague
- Relish a night of passionate role-play and re-enact Saint Valentine healing his jailor’s blind daughter
- Whisper scripture to each other
buff.ly/IkQjEkp
- Relish a night of passionate role-play and re-enact Saint Valentine healing his jailor’s blind daughter
- Whisper scripture to each other
buff.ly/IkQjEkp
Sexy Valentine’s Day Date Ideas That Honor the Life and Faith of Saint Valentine
Cook a seductive homemade third-century Roman meal of millet and turnips lightly drizzled in your finest vinegar Enjoy the thrill of a full-day bee...
buff.ly
February 14, 2026 at 3:20 AM
- Titillate your mind and learn about an amorous topic such as epilepsy or the plague
- Relish a night of passionate role-play and re-enact Saint Valentine healing his jailor’s blind daughter
- Whisper scripture to each other
buff.ly/IkQjEkp
- Relish a night of passionate role-play and re-enact Saint Valentine healing his jailor’s blind daughter
- Whisper scripture to each other
buff.ly/IkQjEkp
Reposted by Discount Storytime
Combining holidays to save time and money
February 13, 2026 at 4:33 PM
Combining holidays to save time and money
Reposted by Discount Storytime
You complete me!
~ me to my lucky potato as I gently kiss it goodnight and tuck it back under my pillow
~ me to my lucky potato as I gently kiss it goodnight and tuck it back under my pillow
February 13, 2026 at 2:25 PM
You complete me!
~ me to my lucky potato as I gently kiss it goodnight and tuck it back under my pillow
~ me to my lucky potato as I gently kiss it goodnight and tuck it back under my pillow
Reposted by Discount Storytime
If it weren't for generations of talented witches, catching a glimpse of the future in a bowl of water would be impossible.
Let me put that more succinctly.
No woman, no scry.
Let me put that more succinctly.
No woman, no scry.
February 13, 2026 at 12:02 AM
If it weren't for generations of talented witches, catching a glimpse of the future in a bowl of water would be impossible.
Let me put that more succinctly.
No woman, no scry.
Let me put that more succinctly.
No woman, no scry.
What’s my favorite parenting memory? Probably sitting in an auditorium having my brain turned to glop as sixty 1st graders played Flight of the Valkyries on recorders and slide whistles.
February 13, 2026 at 1:34 AM
What’s my favorite parenting memory? Probably sitting in an auditorium having my brain turned to glop as sixty 1st graders played Flight of the Valkyries on recorders and slide whistles.
Reposted by Discount Storytime
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for Jason tonight.
February 13, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for Jason tonight.
Reposted by Discount Storytime
I just learned that Feb. 11 is National Guitar Day!
Rockin'! 🎸
Rockin'! 🎸
February 12, 2026 at 3:07 AM
I just learned that Feb. 11 is National Guitar Day!
Rockin'! 🎸
Rockin'! 🎸
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the butt is the shoulders of the legs
February 11, 2026 at 3:42 PM
the butt is the shoulders of the legs
Hickory Dickery Dork
Describe your Bluesky account in three words:
Completely fucking random
Completely fucking random
Describe your Bluesky account in three words:
Still not deleted
Still not deleted
February 12, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Hickory Dickery Dork
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i told my dad i was switching his phone to dark mode and he said don’t do that i need to see happy things
February 11, 2026 at 2:44 PM
i told my dad i was switching his phone to dark mode and he said don’t do that i need to see happy things