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Reposted by McSweeney's
I have family in KY. I will not buy them whiskey stones 😂
"To those unfamiliar with the painful condition, these soapstone cubes manifest in relatives and friends who do not know what to give as gifts and want to preserve their perception of being the cool gift-giver and not at all sentimental."
Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
Now that the season of good cheer is behind us, I feel I can bring up a serious and painful issue that unfortunately became a reality for me this y...
buff.ly
December 27, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I have family in KY. I will not buy them whiskey stones 😂
This piece was our 18th most-read of the year.
As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
Our 18th most-read article of 2025. - - -“The Trump administration said Friday that it’s pulling $400 million from Columbia University, canceling ...
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December 27, 2025 at 9:16 PM
This piece was our 18th most-read of the year.
Reposted by McSweeney's
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December 27, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Love what we do? Thanks to several kind donors, all donations up to $30k will be matched through New Years Eve! Help support actual human-made art AND make this ambitious goal!
store.mcsweeneys.net/products/tax...
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Reposted by McSweeney's
they should have been given additional reward nights.
"I’ll assume you’ll be finding us a new hotel or, as a bare minimum, refunding our donkey expenses."
Joseph of Nazareth Has Had It with Hotels.com
July 3, 1 BC Dear Joseph of Nazareth, Your booking is confirmed for HILTON GARDEN INN BETHLEHEM. Hotels.com confirmation number: 483949011 Check-in...
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December 26, 2025 at 2:09 AM
they should have been given additional reward nights.
Reposted by McSweeney's
Woo hoo! I published only one humor piece this year, and I’m pleased as punch that it cracked McSweeney’s top 25.
December 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Woo hoo! I published only one humor piece this year, and I’m pleased as punch that it cracked McSweeney’s top 25.
This was our 19th most-read piece of 2025.
Acts of Rebellion for the Middle-Aged
Our 19th most-read article of 2025. - - -Hiring a plumber without vetting them across multiple Facebook community forums Starting a movie after 9 ...
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December 27, 2025 at 7:16 PM
This was our 19th most-read piece of 2025.
Here's our 20th most-read piece of 2025.
An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Our 20th most-read article of 2025. - - -In accordance with our informal tradition of updating documents every thirty years, whether they need it ...
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December 27, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Here's our 20th most-read piece of 2025.
Reposted by McSweeney's
Here's our 22nd most-read piece of 2025. buff.ly/xdnqWkl
New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
Our 22nd most-read article of 2025. - - -Originally published June 3, 2025. - - -“The president remained steadfast in his novel interpretation of ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 27, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Here's our 22nd most-read piece of 2025. buff.ly/xdnqWkl
Reposted by McSweeney's
"I moved to this city as a wide-eyed twenty-year-old, ready to take on the world with energetic abandon. Now, I’m no longer twenty years old. Something really has changed with this city."
December 26, 2025 at 8:43 PM
"I moved to this city as a wide-eyed twenty-year-old, ready to take on the world with energetic abandon. Now, I’m no longer twenty years old. Something really has changed with this city."
The countdown of our most-read pieces of 2025 continues! Here's #21:
The Mastermind Box Cover: What the Hell Were They Thinking?
- - -INVICTA GAMES, LTD. Packaging Team — Official Minutes Project: Mastermind / New Cover Presentation MARTIN SMITH (Marketing Senior Vice Presi...
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December 27, 2025 at 4:00 PM
The countdown of our most-read pieces of 2025 continues! Here's #21:
We’re counting down our most-read pieces of 2025. This list will be updated daily until we reach #1 on December 31. Thanks to all our contributors, readers, and supporters this year!
Our 25 Most-Read Pieces of 2025
- - -We’re counting down our most-read pieces of 2025. This list will be updated daily until we reach #1 on December 31. Thanks to all our contrib...
buff.ly
December 27, 2025 at 3:46 PM
We’re counting down our most-read pieces of 2025. This list will be updated daily until we reach #1 on December 31. Thanks to all our contributors, readers, and supporters this year!
Love what we do? Thanks to several kind donors, all donations up to $30k will be matched through New Years Eve! Help support actual human-made art AND make this ambitious goal!
store.mcsweeneys.net/products/tax...
store.mcsweeneys.net/products/tax...
December 27, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Love what we do? Thanks to several kind donors, all donations up to $30k will be matched through New Years Eve! Help support actual human-made art AND make this ambitious goal!
store.mcsweeneys.net/products/tax...
store.mcsweeneys.net/products/tax...
"Do you want to play the game of laundry? Can you find the correct energy-efficient setting that will wash your clothes in only six hours? One wrong choice begins a cycle that takes seventeen hours and leaves a permanent orange residue on your clothes."
#McSweeneysTop25of2025
#McSweeneysTop25of2025
Escape Room Challenge: Your European Airbnb
Our 24th most-read article of 2025. - - -Welcome to this tiny fifth-floor Airbnb, your home for the next four days in a major European city. Can y...
buff.ly
December 27, 2025 at 3:30 PM
"Do you want to play the game of laundry? Can you find the correct energy-efficient setting that will wash your clothes in only six hours? One wrong choice begins a cycle that takes seventeen hours and leaves a permanent orange residue on your clothes."
#McSweeneysTop25of2025
#McSweeneysTop25of2025
"Surely, we have emergency brakes to stop these kinds of things. Someone will intervene. I would look into who that is supposed to be exactly, but this glockenspiel isn’t going to tune itself." #McSweeneysTop25of2025
I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
Our 25th most-read article of 2025. - - -Guten tag. I’m just wondering if anybody else can relate to this feeling I’ve been having that I just can...
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December 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
"Surely, we have emergency brakes to stop these kinds of things. Someone will intervene. I would look into who that is supposed to be exactly, but this glockenspiel isn’t going to tune itself." #McSweeneysTop25of2025
"To those unfamiliar with the painful condition, these soapstone cubes manifest in relatives and friends who do not know what to give as gifts and want to preserve their perception of being the cool gift-giver and not at all sentimental."
Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
Now that the season of good cheer is behind us, I feel I can bring up a serious and painful issue that unfortunately became a reality for me this y...
buff.ly
December 27, 2025 at 2:30 PM
"To those unfamiliar with the painful condition, these soapstone cubes manifest in relatives and friends who do not know what to give as gifts and want to preserve their perception of being the cool gift-giver and not at all sentimental."
"Weaker men would have lost their minds in the madness: telephone cords plugged into ethernet jacks, AC adapters plugged into phone jacks, a lone VGA cable wrapped in a firm knot around an ethernet cord."
In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero
Lo, in the twilight days of the second year of the second decade of the third millennium did a great darkness descend over the wireless internet co...
buff.ly
December 27, 2025 at 2:02 PM
"Weaker men would have lost their minds in the madness: telephone cords plugged into ethernet jacks, AC adapters plugged into phone jacks, a lone VGA cable wrapped in a firm knot around an ethernet cord."
Here's our 22nd most-read piece of 2025. buff.ly/xdnqWkl
New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
Our 22nd most-read article of 2025. - - -Originally published June 3, 2025. - - -“The president remained steadfast in his novel interpretation of ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 27, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Here's our 22nd most-read piece of 2025. buff.ly/xdnqWkl
Reposted by McSweeney's
"Let me get this straight, you’re asking for a ‘54 convertible in light blue, a yacht, the deed to a platinum mine, and a duplex? And as if that’s not enough, you’re just outright asking for me to sign a check as well? Whatever happened to rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums?"
Santa Claus Responds to Christmas Wishes Made in Holiday Songs
“I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” Forget the naughty-and-nice list; we need a third list for morons. What the hell are you going to do with a h...
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December 25, 2025 at 5:30 PM
"Let me get this straight, you’re asking for a ‘54 convertible in light blue, a yacht, the deed to a platinum mine, and a duplex? And as if that’s not enough, you’re just outright asking for me to sign a check as well? Whatever happened to rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums?"
Reposted by McSweeney's
SANTA: Rudolph? Is that you?
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
Excerpts from My Rejected Script, Alien vs. Predator Save Christmas
Page 7 INT. SANTA’S WORKSHOP (SANTA oversees elves working hard to make toys. Nothing could possibly ruin this scene of Christmas magic.) SANTA: Go...
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December 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
SANTA: Rudolph? Is that you?
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
Reposted by McSweeney's
Perfect. No notes.
"Contrary to popular belief and what the salespeople at Brookstone and ad copy in Skymall will tell you, nobody in history has ever used a whiskey stone."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
Now that the season of good cheer is behind us, I feel I can bring up a serious and painful issue that unfortunately became a reality for me this y...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 26, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Perfect. No notes.
Our 23rd most-read article of 2025.
The Problem with My City Is That It’s a City
Our 23rd most-read article of 2025. - - -I’ve lived in this city for decades, but I’m noticing more and more problems. There’s crowding, congestio...
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December 26, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Our 23rd most-read article of 2025.
Our 24th most-read article of 2025.
Escape Room Challenge: Your European Airbnb
Our 24th most-read article of 2025. - - -Welcome to this tiny fifth-floor Airbnb, your home for the next four days in a major European city. Can y...
buff.ly
December 26, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Our 24th most-read article of 2025.
Here's our 25th most-read article of 2025.
I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
Our 25th most-read article of 2025. - - -Guten tag. I’m just wondering if anybody else can relate to this feeling I’ve been having that I just can...
buff.ly
December 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Here's our 25th most-read article of 2025.
"Contrary to popular belief and what the salespeople at Brookstone and ad copy in Skymall will tell you, nobody in history has ever used a whiskey stone."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
Oh God, Someone Gave Me Whiskey Stones
Now that the season of good cheer is behind us, I feel I can bring up a serious and painful issue that unfortunately became a reality for me this y...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 26, 2025 at 2:20 AM
"Contrary to popular belief and what the salespeople at Brookstone and ad copy in Skymall will tell you, nobody in history has ever used a whiskey stone."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-...
"I’ll assume you’ll be finding us a new hotel or, as a bare minimum, refunding our donkey expenses."
Joseph of Nazareth Has Had It with Hotels.com
July 3, 1 BC Dear Joseph of Nazareth, Your booking is confirmed for HILTON GARDEN INN BETHLEHEM. Hotels.com confirmation number: 483949011 Check-in...
buff.ly
December 26, 2025 at 2:00 AM
"I’ll assume you’ll be finding us a new hotel or, as a bare minimum, refunding our donkey expenses."