Rick
@whiskeyrick.bsky.social
If I follow you, you've made me laugh.
If you follow me, that's your own damn fault
If you follow me, that's your own damn fault
Pinned
Rick
@whiskeyrick.bsky.social
· Jan 16
Sleep is for the weak.
I haven't worked out in years, yet I'm still awake.
I haven't worked out in years, yet I'm still awake.
Reposted by Rick
[first day of work]
me: so, when do i get to kick one?
boss: we don't actually-
me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole
me: so, when do i get to kick one?
boss: we don't actually-
me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole
March 7, 2025 at 8:08 PM
[first day of work]
me: so, when do i get to kick one?
boss: we don't actually-
me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole
me: so, when do i get to kick one?
boss: we don't actually-
me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole
I'm not a doctor as such, but I did sell pills for a while in the late 90's
March 6, 2025 at 9:16 PM
I'm not a doctor as such, but I did sell pills for a while in the late 90's
Reposted by Rick
She’s got style
She’s got grace
She dropped her cellphone on her face
She’s a lady
She’s got grace
She dropped her cellphone on her face
She’s a lady
March 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
She’s got style
She’s got grace
She dropped her cellphone on her face
She’s a lady
She’s got grace
She dropped her cellphone on her face
She’s a lady
Reposted by Rick
me: don’t talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of coffee
coworker: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon
me:
coworker: you don’t drink coffee do you
me: you’re still talking
coworker: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon
me:
coworker: you don’t drink coffee do you
me: you’re still talking
March 6, 2025 at 3:57 PM
me: don’t talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of coffee
coworker: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon
me:
coworker: you don’t drink coffee do you
me: you’re still talking
coworker: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon
me:
coworker: you don’t drink coffee do you
me: you’re still talking
Reposted by Rick
The world's imploding, so buy that dress, eat the cake, run naked in a haunted forest, make feverish love to a drifter, stab a clown.
March 6, 2025 at 11:14 AM
The world's imploding, so buy that dress, eat the cake, run naked in a haunted forest, make feverish love to a drifter, stab a clown.
Reposted by Rick
My five year plan is just LSD. Lots and lots of LSD.
March 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
My five year plan is just LSD. Lots and lots of LSD.
Reposted by Rick
Crows can recognize people many years later, even if they are wearing a disguise.
However, science cannot explain why the crows would wear a disguise.
However, science cannot explain why the crows would wear a disguise.
February 23, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Crows can recognize people many years later, even if they are wearing a disguise.
However, science cannot explain why the crows would wear a disguise.
However, science cannot explain why the crows would wear a disguise.
Reposted by Rick
I bejeweled smiley faces on my husbands ball sacks so they are always happy to see me.
February 23, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I bejeweled smiley faces on my husbands ball sacks so they are always happy to see me.
Reposted by Rick
Clearly, things had not worked out the way that Ronald had hoped.
February 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Clearly, things had not worked out the way that Ronald had hoped.
Reposted by Rick
Made a TikTok but it's just me drunk in a vacant lot yelling at some birds.
February 23, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Made a TikTok but it's just me drunk in a vacant lot yelling at some birds.
Reposted by Rick
I’d just like to live in precedented times for a while.
December 6, 2024 at 11:23 PM
I’d just like to live in precedented times for a while.
Reposted by Rick
Oh, you don’t wear cargo pants?
More pocket meatballs for me then!
More pocket meatballs for me then!
January 30, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Oh, you don’t wear cargo pants?
More pocket meatballs for me then!
More pocket meatballs for me then!
Reposted by Rick
I can't help but feel that I may be partially responsible for the bad decisions of my life.
February 5, 2025 at 6:09 AM
I can't help but feel that I may be partially responsible for the bad decisions of my life.
Reposted by Rick
Son, I've decided that it's time for me to give you the farm
I appreciate the thought, Dad, but the ants have been dead for months.
I appreciate the thought, Dad, but the ants have been dead for months.
February 5, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Son, I've decided that it's time for me to give you the farm
I appreciate the thought, Dad, but the ants have been dead for months.
I appreciate the thought, Dad, but the ants have been dead for months.
Reposted by Rick
I never know what to do with my turkey leg at an orgy.
February 5, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I never know what to do with my turkey leg at an orgy.
Reposted by Rick
Got some donuts for supper because seriously what even matters anymore
February 3, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Got some donuts for supper because seriously what even matters anymore
Reposted by Rick
maybe if I had a visible health bar id be more careful with how i treat my body
February 3, 2025 at 2:47 AM
maybe if I had a visible health bar id be more careful with how i treat my body
Reposted by Rick
Only 1080 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes and 43 seconds left
…but who the fuck is counting
…but who the fuck is counting
February 3, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Only 1080 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes and 43 seconds left
…but who the fuck is counting
…but who the fuck is counting
Reposted by Rick
I can't believe we have to eat groundhog for six more weeks.
February 2, 2025 at 2:12 PM
I can't believe we have to eat groundhog for six more weeks.
Reposted by Rick
Sorry I’m late, 27000 Tupperware containers fell out of my cabinet
February 3, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Sorry I’m late, 27000 Tupperware containers fell out of my cabinet
With great panache, I reach behind his ear to reveal the very coin that was in my hand moments earlier.
Bank manager: That's impressive, sir, but we still can not give you a loan. Your credit score is very poor.
Me: Pick a card, any card
Bank manager: That's impressive, sir, but we still can not give you a loan. Your credit score is very poor.
Me: Pick a card, any card
February 3, 2025 at 3:18 PM
With great panache, I reach behind his ear to reveal the very coin that was in my hand moments earlier.
Bank manager: That's impressive, sir, but we still can not give you a loan. Your credit score is very poor.
Me: Pick a card, any card
Bank manager: That's impressive, sir, but we still can not give you a loan. Your credit score is very poor.
Me: Pick a card, any card
Reposted by Rick
Me: You're always...........saying that............I'm not...............mature enough...............and don't.................take anything.................seriously but............where's........the............proof.
Her: Please get off the trampoline.
Her: Please get off the trampoline.
February 3, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Me: You're always...........saying that............I'm not...............mature enough...............and don't.................take anything.................seriously but............where's........the............proof.
Her: Please get off the trampoline.
Her: Please get off the trampoline.