PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
Pinned
PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
· Nov 21
Mrs Doubtfire is my favourite movie about violating a custody agreement
I’m making a movie about an elderly gentleman getting dentures and I’m going to call it
“No crunchy for old men”
“No crunchy for old men”
October 14, 2025 at 10:51 AM
I’m making a movie about an elderly gentleman getting dentures and I’m going to call it
“No crunchy for old men”
“No crunchy for old men”
Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples
October 9, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples
People: nice jeep, here’s a duck
Winter: nice smile, here’s seasonal depression
Winter: nice smile, here’s seasonal depression
August 27, 2025 at 11:42 AM
People: nice jeep, here’s a duck
Winter: nice smile, here’s seasonal depression
Winter: nice smile, here’s seasonal depression
Convinced my ex to get bangs before we broke up so that I’d find someone new first.
August 10, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Convinced my ex to get bangs before we broke up so that I’d find someone new first.
Reposted by PieGuy
I’m not into casual sex. Kindly submit a curriculum vitae.
August 8, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I’m not into casual sex. Kindly submit a curriculum vitae.
Reposted by PieGuy
Oh, you’re an old soul? Name 3 of your children who died of consumption
August 9, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Oh, you’re an old soul? Name 3 of your children who died of consumption
Reposted by PieGuy
My reaction to citronella suggests that I may in fact be part mosquito
August 9, 2025 at 2:07 PM
My reaction to citronella suggests that I may in fact be part mosquito
Reposted by PieGuy
I only watch South Park for the american politics updates. it’s like the news but honest.
August 8, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I only watch South Park for the american politics updates. it’s like the news but honest.
Reposted by PieGuy
Sorry i’m late, my morning fart ritual ran long.
August 9, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Sorry i’m late, my morning fart ritual ran long.
Reposted by PieGuy
what i mean when i say ima "skedaddle"
August 9, 2025 at 5:07 PM
what i mean when i say ima "skedaddle"
Reposted by PieGuy
When you see nine birds together that’s a flock 9.
August 10, 2025 at 4:20 PM
When you see nine birds together that’s a flock 9.
Reposted by PieGuy
Step 1: Watch all seasons of The Great British Sewing Bee
Step 2: Attempt to alter every garment in my wardrobe to make it custom fitted and special
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Wear barrel
Step 2: Attempt to alter every garment in my wardrobe to make it custom fitted and special
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Wear barrel
August 10, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Step 1: Watch all seasons of The Great British Sewing Bee
Step 2: Attempt to alter every garment in my wardrobe to make it custom fitted and special
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Wear barrel
Step 2: Attempt to alter every garment in my wardrobe to make it custom fitted and special
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Wear barrel
Reposted by PieGuy
Saying, “ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy” the whole time during sex.
August 10, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Saying, “ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy” the whole time during sex.
Reposted by PieGuy
Beating someone to death with an olive branch as a bit
August 10, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Beating someone to death with an olive branch as a bit
Reposted by PieGuy
Correction: there are no butterflies in my stomach- I hardly ever even nibble on butterflies
June 3, 2024 at 9:41 PM
Correction: there are no butterflies in my stomach- I hardly ever even nibble on butterflies
If you look at the shape of a vagina it makes sense that babies are born in the shape of a pancake”
-Flat Birthers
-Flat Birthers
August 8, 2025 at 6:55 PM
If you look at the shape of a vagina it makes sense that babies are born in the shape of a pancake”
-Flat Birthers
-Flat Birthers
Reposted by PieGuy
Show dominance by clapping as the plane takes off.
August 4, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Show dominance by clapping as the plane takes off.
Reposted by PieGuy
I love that courtroom sketches are still a thing. Leaves open the possibility that a smurf or two was there
July 30, 2025 at 1:04 AM
I love that courtroom sketches are still a thing. Leaves open the possibility that a smurf or two was there
Reposted by PieGuy
At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen
July 30, 2025 at 1:15 PM
At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen
Reposted by PieGuy
I ordered a cheese plate for dessert last night, which speaks directly to my outstanding and honourable quality of character, IMO.
July 30, 2025 at 1:44 PM
I ordered a cheese plate for dessert last night, which speaks directly to my outstanding and honourable quality of character, IMO.
Reposted by PieGuy
You can never stand backward on stairs.
July 30, 2025 at 6:22 PM
You can never stand backward on stairs.
Reposted by PieGuy
It was probably a dog who invented the fact that they can’t eat raisins.
July 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
It was probably a dog who invented the fact that they can’t eat raisins.
Reposted by PieGuy
My boyfriend got kicked off the cyber truck waiting list for having sex.
November 13, 2024 at 2:19 PM
My boyfriend got kicked off the cyber truck waiting list for having sex.
Reposted by PieGuy
Me: *makes a mental note*
Also me: *immediately forgets mental note*
Also me: *immediately forgets mental note*
July 31, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Me: *makes a mental note*
Also me: *immediately forgets mental note*
Also me: *immediately forgets mental note*
Reposted by PieGuy
Absolutely no one:
Cats: might I suggest the butthole-in-your-face pairing with breakfast this morning?
Cats: might I suggest the butthole-in-your-face pairing with breakfast this morning?
July 31, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Absolutely no one:
Cats: might I suggest the butthole-in-your-face pairing with breakfast this morning?
Cats: might I suggest the butthole-in-your-face pairing with breakfast this morning?