Reposted by Goose
I like that mistletoe increases the odds of being kissed. More plants should offer temporary environmental status. Brawling under lingonberries. The soft yearning of a love that dare not speak its name beneath the nightshade.
December 22, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I like that mistletoe increases the odds of being kissed. More plants should offer temporary environmental status. Brawling under lingonberries. The soft yearning of a love that dare not speak its name beneath the nightshade.
Reposted by Goose
Last-minute gig idea! A knock-off VHS that looks a bit like a classic Disney cartoon:
December 22, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Last-minute gig idea! A knock-off VHS that looks a bit like a classic Disney cartoon:
Reposted by Goose
it's not an "edge router" unless the packets never quite make it to their destination
December 22, 2025 at 5:28 AM
it's not an "edge router" unless the packets never quite make it to their destination
Reposted by Goose
Bro, you doing alright, bro? I saw the autosave icon come on just as you entered the room
December 20, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Bro, you doing alright, bro? I saw the autosave icon come on just as you entered the room
Reposted by Goose
If you learn one thing from old movies, it’s that there used to be a lot more little decorative cannons around
December 20, 2025 at 5:19 AM
If you learn one thing from old movies, it’s that there used to be a lot more little decorative cannons around
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
I had to explain to my 112 year old great-grandmother what gooning is. Well, I didn't HAVE to. I just thought it would be funny if it was the last thing she heard before she died.
December 16, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I had to explain to my 112 year old great-grandmother what gooning is. Well, I didn't HAVE to. I just thought it would be funny if it was the last thing she heard before she died.
Reposted by Goose
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
December 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
Reposted by Goose
live your life in such a way that when you die, those who despise you are so jealous that they make your death all about them simply because they know that when they die, nobody in their right mind would mourn them
December 16, 2025 at 2:19 AM
live your life in such a way that when you die, those who despise you are so jealous that they make your death all about them simply because they know that when they die, nobody in their right mind would mourn them
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
Christmas hasn't been the same since i noticed Santa has the same handwriting as my wife
December 16, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Christmas hasn't been the same since i noticed Santa has the same handwriting as my wife
Reposted by Goose
Her: Describe your perfect date
Me: It's cold outside, I'm under a blanket, I've never played the GBA Castlevanias before and just fired up Circle of the Moon. You're there, of course, doing something you enjoy.
Me: It's cold outside, I'm under a blanket, I've never played the GBA Castlevanias before and just fired up Circle of the Moon. You're there, of course, doing something you enjoy.
November 8, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Her: Describe your perfect date
Me: It's cold outside, I'm under a blanket, I've never played the GBA Castlevanias before and just fired up Circle of the Moon. You're there, of course, doing something you enjoy.
Me: It's cold outside, I'm under a blanket, I've never played the GBA Castlevanias before and just fired up Circle of the Moon. You're there, of course, doing something you enjoy.
Reposted by Goose
the Amish aren't into feet pics because they think the camera captures their soles
December 14, 2025 at 5:33 PM
the Amish aren't into feet pics because they think the camera captures their soles
Reposted by Goose
When the Wendy's logo matches yer vibe.
December 12, 2025 at 6:32 PM
When the Wendy's logo matches yer vibe.
Reposted by Goose
Most people who say "I'm bad with names" mean they can't remember them. But I'm bad with names in another way. Anyway, meet my son Dipshit
December 12, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Most people who say "I'm bad with names" mean they can't remember them. But I'm bad with names in another way. Anyway, meet my son Dipshit
Reposted by Goose
Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"
December 14, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"
Reposted by Goose
having a conjugal visit with a pan of leftover lasagna
December 13, 2025 at 2:28 PM
having a conjugal visit with a pan of leftover lasagna
Reposted by Goose
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus — wasn’t impressed by either of their techniques tbh
December 10, 2023 at 10:50 PM
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus — wasn’t impressed by either of their techniques tbh
Reposted by Goose
We have an opening for "big cat trainer." Must be faster than our previous big cat trainer.
December 14, 2025 at 7:53 AM
We have an opening for "big cat trainer." Must be faster than our previous big cat trainer.
Reposted by Goose
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
December 24, 2024 at 10:30 PM
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho