clam_daniel
@spoon-fl5.bsky.social
Pinned
clam_daniel
@spoon-fl5.bsky.social
· May 10
Marriages are just funerals with pomp and circumstance.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Slapping me silly might fix me.
September 2, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Slapping me silly might fix me.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Bluesky is home to some of the best people I've never met
September 8, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Bluesky is home to some of the best people I've never met
Reposted by clam_daniel
You say “red flag,” I say “fun fact.” We are not the same.
September 7, 2025 at 8:21 PM
You say “red flag,” I say “fun fact.” We are not the same.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Hey..
at least you're not buried on a golf course
at least you're not buried on a golf course
April 16, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Hey..
at least you're not buried on a golf course
at least you're not buried on a golf course
Before we go any further, you should know I chew my ice cream.
September 3, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Before we go any further, you should know I chew my ice cream.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Something about Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair brings out my inner stripper
August 28, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Something about Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair brings out my inner stripper
Reposted by clam_daniel
Telling someone to go and fuck themselves is very much about the destination as opposed to the journey.
August 29, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Telling someone to go and fuck themselves is very much about the destination as opposed to the journey.
Reposted by clam_daniel
My toxic trait is thinking i’d thrive in a post-apocalyptic world when I panic if my blanket isn’t tucked right.
August 23, 2025 at 3:47 AM
My toxic trait is thinking i’d thrive in a post-apocalyptic world when I panic if my blanket isn’t tucked right.
Reposted by clam_daniel
[pulled over]
COP: did you take any drugs
ME: no i paid for them
COP: did you take any drugs
ME: no i paid for them
August 23, 2025 at 3:53 AM
[pulled over]
COP: did you take any drugs
ME: no i paid for them
COP: did you take any drugs
ME: no i paid for them
Reposted by clam_daniel
fuck you, but the horse you rode in on is cool
August 20, 2025 at 8:38 PM
fuck you, but the horse you rode in on is cool
Reposted by clam_daniel
don’t worry babe, i fucked that up too
August 19, 2025 at 1:09 AM
don’t worry babe, i fucked that up too
Reposted by clam_daniel
Favourite trope for any female protagonist in a novel is realising ‘she had forgotten to eat that day.’
August 18, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Favourite trope for any female protagonist in a novel is realising ‘she had forgotten to eat that day.’
Reposted by clam_daniel
When people say drinking is not the answer it makes me wonder if they truly understood the question.
August 17, 2025 at 9:43 PM
When people say drinking is not the answer it makes me wonder if they truly understood the question.
Christians rarely are.
August 14, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Christians rarely are.
Reposted by clam_daniel
August 14, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Reposted by clam_daniel
I’m not always hungry, sometimes I’m sleeping
August 13, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I’m not always hungry, sometimes I’m sleeping
Reposted by clam_daniel
If you want to hotspot off me, my phone is called “Katharine the great.”
August 12, 2025 at 8:08 PM
If you want to hotspot off me, my phone is called “Katharine the great.”
Reposted by clam_daniel
MAGA is why we need instructions on shampoo bottles
August 7, 2025 at 2:41 AM
MAGA is why we need instructions on shampoo bottles
Reposted by clam_daniel
I hate doing things
August 6, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I hate doing things
Reposted by clam_daniel
You wouldn’t know it from looking at me, but I can pull up my own pants.
August 7, 2025 at 12:08 AM
You wouldn’t know it from looking at me, but I can pull up my own pants.
Reposted by clam_daniel
One of the best parts of summer is buttering corn cobs and whispering “you like that?” loud enough to make the family BBQ awkward.
August 7, 2025 at 1:08 AM
One of the best parts of summer is buttering corn cobs and whispering “you like that?” loud enough to make the family BBQ awkward.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Nothing unites so strongly as mutual sarcasm.
August 5, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Nothing unites so strongly as mutual sarcasm.
Reposted by clam_daniel
Reposted by clam_daniel
Keep the romance alive by never speaking to each other again.
August 6, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Keep the romance alive by never speaking to each other again.