MisterD
@misterd78uk.bsky.social
Not my Sympathy, not my Devil
Not my Stairway, not my Heaven
Not my Master, not my Puppets.
December 2, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Not my Sympathy, not my Devil
Reposted by MisterD
Not my Stairway, not my Heaven
Not my Master, not my Puppets.
Not my holy, not my diver
December 2, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Not my Stairway, not my Heaven
Reposted by MisterD
I like my Christmas trees like I like my men - purely decorative
December 2, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I like my Christmas trees like I like my men - purely decorative
Reposted by MisterD
New boss: let’s all go around the room and say something about ourselves
Me: *vomits profusely
Me: *vomits profusely
December 2, 2025 at 2:19 PM
New boss: let’s all go around the room and say something about ourselves
Me: *vomits profusely
Me: *vomits profusely
Reposted by MisterD
Getting my steps in pacing frantically back and forth on a phone call
November 25, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Getting my steps in pacing frantically back and forth on a phone call
Reposted by MisterD
You don't truly appreciate magnetic fridge notepads until you're in your forties
November 30, 2025 at 3:55 PM
You don't truly appreciate magnetic fridge notepads until you're in your forties
Reposted by MisterD
Wholesome? I'm not even whole. Just some.
December 1, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Wholesome? I'm not even whole. Just some.
Reposted by MisterD
Just passed out and my life flashed before my eyes and wow that was an awful lot of mayonnaise.
December 1, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Just passed out and my life flashed before my eyes and wow that was an awful lot of mayonnaise.
Reposted by MisterD
the art of letting whoever think whatever
December 2, 2025 at 2:25 PM
the art of letting whoever think whatever
Reposted by MisterD
I can’t stop thinking about the babysitter. Mostly I wonder when she'll figure out that I'm never coming back.
December 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I can’t stop thinking about the babysitter. Mostly I wonder when she'll figure out that I'm never coming back.
Reposted by MisterD
Technology was so basic in the past. A toilet was a hole. A shoe was just a smaller hole. Everything was holes
December 2, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Technology was so basic in the past. A toilet was a hole. A shoe was just a smaller hole. Everything was holes
Reposted by MisterD
should i put up my xmas decorations today ?
(1) yes its time
(b) no you’re jewish
(%) idc i don’t even follow you
(&) is this a poll? i hate polls
(1) yes its time
(b) no you’re jewish
(%) idc i don’t even follow you
(&) is this a poll? i hate polls
December 1, 2025 at 5:08 PM
should i put up my xmas decorations today ?
(1) yes its time
(b) no you’re jewish
(%) idc i don’t even follow you
(&) is this a poll? i hate polls
(1) yes its time
(b) no you’re jewish
(%) idc i don’t even follow you
(&) is this a poll? i hate polls
Reposted by MisterD
*enjoying a moment of peace*
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 PM
*enjoying a moment of peace*
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
brain: hey it's been a while since you've done an extremely embarrassing thing
Reposted by MisterD
She put a single, sad-looking English cucumber back in the fridge and muttered, 'Fail to thrive.'
I felt personally attacked.
I felt personally attacked.
December 2, 2025 at 2:32 PM
She put a single, sad-looking English cucumber back in the fridge and muttered, 'Fail to thrive.'
I felt personally attacked.
I felt personally attacked.
Reposted by MisterD
-Paul: Come together
-Me:
-Paul: right now
-Me:
-Paul: over me
-Me: *runs away*
-Me:
-Paul: right now
-Me:
-Paul: over me
-Me: *runs away*
December 1, 2025 at 9:42 PM
-Paul: Come together
-Me:
-Paul: right now
-Me:
-Paul: over me
-Me: *runs away*
-Me:
-Paul: right now
-Me:
-Paul: over me
-Me: *runs away*
Reposted by MisterD
me: my hopes and dreams mostly involve you, me and a gallon of whipped cream and jello
interviewer: I meant hopes for your career
me: so did I…
interviewer: I meant hopes for your career
me: so did I…
December 2, 2025 at 2:33 PM
me: my hopes and dreams mostly involve you, me and a gallon of whipped cream and jello
interviewer: I meant hopes for your career
me: so did I…
interviewer: I meant hopes for your career
me: so did I…
Reposted by MisterD
You're not fatter. Your clothes shrank.
Yw.
Yw.
November 27, 2025 at 7:59 AM
You're not fatter. Your clothes shrank.
Yw.
Yw.
Reposted by MisterD
I say “I’m fine” a lot for someone who is grinding their teeth into chalk dust.
November 24, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I say “I’m fine” a lot for someone who is grinding their teeth into chalk dust.
Reposted by MisterD
hug your pets and set them places at the table; put your family in crates
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
November 27, 2025 at 12:31 PM
hug your pets and set them places at the table; put your family in crates
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
Reposted by MisterD
These thoughts just pop in my head,folks
And if I have to hear them in my head,
so do you
Sorry.
I love you
*shitposter*
And if I have to hear them in my head,
so do you
Sorry.
I love you
*shitposter*
August 21, 2025 at 1:59 PM
These thoughts just pop in my head,folks
And if I have to hear them in my head,
so do you
Sorry.
I love you
*shitposter*
And if I have to hear them in my head,
so do you
Sorry.
I love you
*shitposter*
Reposted by MisterD
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
Reposted by MisterD
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.
November 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Not a manic pixie dream girl, but a lethargic troll nightmare woman.
Reposted by MisterD
Woke up wearing nothing but a BK crown again.
November 27, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Woke up wearing nothing but a BK crown again.
Reposted by MisterD
According to anxiety, you need to hurry up and get ready for something that will never happen.
November 25, 2025 at 9:12 PM
According to anxiety, you need to hurry up and get ready for something that will never happen.