@meebwix.bsky.social
Reposted
i always win at strip poker because i keep an ace tattooed up my sleeve
December 8, 2025 at 11:47 PM
i always win at strip poker because i keep an ace tattooed up my sleeve
Reposted
walked into whole foods with a bright orange insulated trader joes bag just so they know we aren't exclusive
November 25, 2025 at 6:37 PM
walked into whole foods with a bright orange insulated trader joes bag just so they know we aren't exclusive
Reposted
Im really trying to keep my posts non political today........
This FUUUUUUUCK just has to ruin that!!!!
I would have returned the insult in a childish voice to mock him further!!!
This FUUUUUUUCK just has to ruin that!!!!
I would have returned the insult in a childish voice to mock him further!!!
November 28, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Im really trying to keep my posts non political today........
This FUUUUUUUCK just has to ruin that!!!!
I would have returned the insult in a childish voice to mock him further!!!
This FUUUUUUUCK just has to ruin that!!!!
I would have returned the insult in a childish voice to mock him further!!!
Reposted
the childlike urge to run around the store to see if you run faster in the new sneakers you might get
November 27, 2025 at 11:27 PM
the childlike urge to run around the store to see if you run faster in the new sneakers you might get
Reposted
pecan duck. peking pie.
November 28, 2025 at 1:44 AM
pecan duck. peking pie.
Reposted
the names bond. gold bond.
November 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
the names bond. gold bond.
Reposted
an ice sculpture of Elton John that lasts until early spring at which point it's Meltin' John
November 11, 2025 at 5:21 PM
an ice sculpture of Elton John that lasts until early spring at which point it's Meltin' John
Reposted
Me: Why were my tests so expensive?
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
November 10, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Me: Why were my tests so expensive?
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Hospital: All of our equipment is state-of-the-art.
Me: Why did it take so long to send the results to my doctor?
Hospital: Our fax machine was down.
Reposted
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
November 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
Reposted
what i want is to be able to queue up like ten movies and just have them play in a random order so i don't need to decide
November 9, 2025 at 3:38 PM
what i want is to be able to queue up like ten movies and just have them play in a random order so i don't need to decide
Reposted
Last night someone unplugged America waiting 5 minutes and then plugged it back in.
November 5, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Last night someone unplugged America waiting 5 minutes and then plugged it back in.
Reposted
Unlike other places, The Onion is quadrupling down on being a pain in the ass, politically.
Please subscribe.
Please subscribe.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 4, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Unlike other places, The Onion is quadrupling down on being a pain in the ass, politically.
Please subscribe.
Please subscribe.
Reposted
Reposted
Why did they call it an AI generated picture and not a 'fauxtograph'?
October 29, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Why did they call it an AI generated picture and not a 'fauxtograph'?
Reposted
full sized candy bars for the kids tonight and full sized martinis for their parents
October 31, 2025 at 2:19 PM
full sized candy bars for the kids tonight and full sized martinis for their parents
Reposted
i should be able to click a button at the beginning of a sports season that says “i’m normal” and i don’t get served any ads for crypto or gambling
October 26, 2025 at 10:50 PM
i should be able to click a button at the beginning of a sports season that says “i’m normal” and i don’t get served any ads for crypto or gambling
Reposted
Han Solo trying to explain away the Imperial tattoo he has on his chest: I thought it was an asterisk
October 22, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Han Solo trying to explain away the Imperial tattoo he has on his chest: I thought it was an asterisk
Reposted
If I came from Europe and had a Slavic cultural origin it would be difficult to avoid the temptation of opening a business specializing in custom draperies and calling it Czechs And Valances.
October 22, 2025 at 9:59 PM
If I came from Europe and had a Slavic cultural origin it would be difficult to avoid the temptation of opening a business specializing in custom draperies and calling it Czechs And Valances.
Reposted
Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/
October 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/
Reposted
I asked the best way to cook brussel sprouts and I’m getting roasted in the comments
October 6, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I asked the best way to cook brussel sprouts and I’m getting roasted in the comments
Reposted
Why learn big words when you can productatiously contrivicate your own?
October 6, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Why learn big words when you can productatiously contrivicate your own?
Reposted
Based on the number of times I hear her doing it, I predict my wife would describe living with me as 'sigh maintenance'
December 30, 2024 at 8:48 PM
Based on the number of times I hear her doing it, I predict my wife would describe living with me as 'sigh maintenance'
Reposted
Dems- don't engage "you want healthcare for undocumented immigrants." Reply with "The shutdown is for one reason only- to hide the Epstein evidence that is so damaging to the White House." Every interview, every comment, every time.
Learn how to win in the court of public opinion one goddam time.
Learn how to win in the court of public opinion one goddam time.
October 3, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Dems- don't engage "you want healthcare for undocumented immigrants." Reply with "The shutdown is for one reason only- to hide the Epstein evidence that is so damaging to the White House." Every interview, every comment, every time.
Learn how to win in the court of public opinion one goddam time.
Learn how to win in the court of public opinion one goddam time.
Reposted
BREAKING: In a cost-cutting effort, the GOP will be using their moral compass as a ceiling fan in the Senate Chamber.
October 2, 2025 at 3:44 AM
BREAKING: In a cost-cutting effort, the GOP will be using their moral compass as a ceiling fan in the Senate Chamber.
Reposted
Computers used to scream when connecting you to the Internet. We should've heeded that warning.
share.google/xRTKZapC5xxZ...
share.google/xRTKZapC5xxZ...
With a final screech, AOL's dial-up service goes silent
One of the earliest consumer internet options, AOL's dial-up service was once the most common way for people to access the early web.
share.google
October 1, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Computers used to scream when connecting you to the Internet. We should've heeded that warning.
share.google/xRTKZapC5xxZ...
share.google/xRTKZapC5xxZ...