jerzy
@j3r7y.bsky.social
Reposted by jerzy
You basically just have to babysit yourself for your entire life
May 3, 2025 at 10:11 PM
You basically just have to babysit yourself for your entire life
Reposted by jerzy
Birds need to 1) calm down and 2) stop that
May 14, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Birds need to 1) calm down and 2) stop that
Reposted by jerzy
DATE: i can't stand snakes
ME: *mouth full of nachos* that's because they don't have any feet
ME: *mouth full of nachos* that's because they don't have any feet
May 6, 2025 at 11:09 PM
DATE: i can't stand snakes
ME: *mouth full of nachos* that's because they don't have any feet
ME: *mouth full of nachos* that's because they don't have any feet
Reposted by jerzy
1991: fighting with five siblings for use of a single landline
2025: we all refuse to answer our cell phones
2025: we all refuse to answer our cell phones
April 15, 2025 at 5:44 PM
1991: fighting with five siblings for use of a single landline
2025: we all refuse to answer our cell phones
2025: we all refuse to answer our cell phones
Reposted by jerzy
*wakes up from a coma*
Ffs
Ffs
April 15, 2025 at 4:59 PM
*wakes up from a coma*
Ffs
Ffs
Reposted by jerzy
Funny how so many problems are instantly resolved by simply getting a much bigger problem.
March 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Funny how so many problems are instantly resolved by simply getting a much bigger problem.
Reposted by jerzy
My trusted advisor has been emerging from the shadows a lot lately, wonder what that's about
February 27, 2025 at 2:22 AM
My trusted advisor has been emerging from the shadows a lot lately, wonder what that's about
Reposted by jerzy
[interrupting opponent during rap battle] That’s not my name. No one calls me that
February 27, 2025 at 5:09 AM
[interrupting opponent during rap battle] That’s not my name. No one calls me that
Reposted by jerzy
BREAKING: Almost everything
February 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
BREAKING: Almost everything
Reposted by jerzy
Putting on a helmet to watch the news
January 31, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Putting on a helmet to watch the news
Reposted by jerzy
Get in line, Breaking News. Everything's breaking. You're not special.
February 12, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Get in line, Breaking News. Everything's breaking. You're not special.
Reposted by jerzy
Just paid my taxes via X, the everything app, but it said my payment went to something called $GOVCOIN. I emailed the IRS for help but they replied with just a poop emoji
February 12, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Just paid my taxes via X, the everything app, but it said my payment went to something called $GOVCOIN. I emailed the IRS for help but they replied with just a poop emoji
Reposted by jerzy
"skibidi toilet" is basically a line from a kerouac poem
February 3, 2025 at 7:34 PM
"skibidi toilet" is basically a line from a kerouac poem
Reposted by jerzy
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.
January 7, 2025 at 1:18 PM
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.
Reposted by jerzy
ME: I didn't choose the thug life
THEM: you're eating soup in a cardigan at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning
ME: I could not have been more clear
THEM: you're eating soup in a cardigan at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning
ME: I could not have been more clear
January 4, 2025 at 4:35 PM
ME: I didn't choose the thug life
THEM: you're eating soup in a cardigan at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning
ME: I could not have been more clear
THEM: you're eating soup in a cardigan at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning
ME: I could not have been more clear
Reposted by jerzy
Her: I don’t feel good.
Me: That’s because you’re thoughtful.
Me: That’s because you’re thoughtful.
January 20, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Her: I don’t feel good.
Me: That’s because you’re thoughtful.
Me: That’s because you’re thoughtful.
Reposted by jerzy
alexander graham bell: i invented the telephone!
his brother, taco: i'm working on some pretty big stuff too
his brother, taco: i'm working on some pretty big stuff too
January 20, 2025 at 7:24 PM
alexander graham bell: i invented the telephone!
his brother, taco: i'm working on some pretty big stuff too
his brother, taco: i'm working on some pretty big stuff too
Reposted by jerzy
Standing up is really good for if you wanna find out suddenly how high you are
August 23, 2024 at 8:58 PM
Standing up is really good for if you wanna find out suddenly how high you are
Reposted by jerzy
shouting "yes daddy" throughout the colonoscopy so everyone is equally uncomfortable
January 13, 2025 at 8:34 PM
shouting "yes daddy" throughout the colonoscopy so everyone is equally uncomfortable
Reposted by jerzy
My door is always open if you want to stop by and fix my door
January 13, 2025 at 12:28 AM
My door is always open if you want to stop by and fix my door
Reposted by jerzy
When I hear about sometime dying ten years ago I think that was smart.
January 9, 2025 at 2:54 AM
When I hear about sometime dying ten years ago I think that was smart.
Reposted by jerzy
Ask yourself, "am I harder to kill than I was 8 years ago?"
January 7, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Ask yourself, "am I harder to kill than I was 8 years ago?"
Reposted by jerzy
Meet Cute Scenerio:
I step forward in line
We make extended eye contact
You raise the bolt gun to my forehead
I step forward in line
We make extended eye contact
You raise the bolt gun to my forehead
December 15, 2023 at 3:20 AM
Meet Cute Scenerio:
I step forward in line
We make extended eye contact
You raise the bolt gun to my forehead
I step forward in line
We make extended eye contact
You raise the bolt gun to my forehead
Reposted by jerzy
if I wanted your opinion I'd have removed the duct tape
January 7, 2025 at 8:19 AM
if I wanted your opinion I'd have removed the duct tape