Grant Tanaka
@granttanaka.bsky.social
I wrote a joke about a potato once
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaai5k54haeh6
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaai5k54haeh6
life is hard and will continue to be so, but live music will always be therapy. PS: the pit at a Die Spitz show ain’t nothing to fuck with (omg my kids are in there somewhere)
October 18, 2025 at 3:49 AM
life is hard and will continue to be so, but live music will always be therapy. PS: the pit at a Die Spitz show ain’t nothing to fuck with (omg my kids are in there somewhere)
Taking a break for awhile to try to figure out if anything matters anymore. Please be good to each other and don't drink the stuff under the sink while I'm gone ok 🤙
October 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Taking a break for awhile to try to figure out if anything matters anymore. Please be good to each other and don't drink the stuff under the sink while I'm gone ok 🤙
don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and
October 8, 2025 at 8:20 PM
don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Blair Witch Bespoke Artisanal Crafts
October 7, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Blair Witch Bespoke Artisanal Crafts
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
autocorrect keeps changing but to bit and in to I and at this point I don't believe it has any interest in being helpful and is just trying to be a massive prick
October 8, 2025 at 6:30 AM
autocorrect keeps changing but to bit and in to I and at this point I don't believe it has any interest in being helpful and is just trying to be a massive prick
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
is british trader joe’s tradeur joues
October 8, 2025 at 2:40 AM
is british trader joe’s tradeur joues
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Go go gadget get-out-of-my-way
October 7, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Go go gadget get-out-of-my-way
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Literally everyone misuses the word literally.
October 6, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Literally everyone misuses the word literally.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Auto-correct changed "social" media to "sociopath" media, and it's not wrong
September 19, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Auto-correct changed "social" media to "sociopath" media, and it's not wrong
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
What you can only imagine does not pay for reality. That's what I always wrote on the memo line of all my checks, because back then it was time to stop saying I can only imagine to foolish dreams with tales of cashing blank stares at any bank wall
October 8, 2025 at 4:43 AM
What you can only imagine does not pay for reality. That's what I always wrote on the memo line of all my checks, because back then it was time to stop saying I can only imagine to foolish dreams with tales of cashing blank stares at any bank wall
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
I cut my own hair because:
(a) I am poor
(b) I am cheap
(c) I am antisocial
(d) I don't like people touching me
(e) All the above
(a) I am poor
(b) I am cheap
(c) I am antisocial
(d) I don't like people touching me
(e) All the above
October 8, 2025 at 1:33 PM
I cut my own hair because:
(a) I am poor
(b) I am cheap
(c) I am antisocial
(d) I don't like people touching me
(e) All the above
(a) I am poor
(b) I am cheap
(c) I am antisocial
(d) I don't like people touching me
(e) All the above
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
The dental hygienist cleans my teeth to the sounds of the unbelievably old songs of my youth.
October 7, 2025 at 8:25 PM
The dental hygienist cleans my teeth to the sounds of the unbelievably old songs of my youth.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Listen, if you have to explain your joke, I am sorry that it's not something else that we have in common.
October 8, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Listen, if you have to explain your joke, I am sorry that it's not something else that we have in common.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Oh, you mean fall as in autumn, not as in "of civilization."
October 8, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Oh, you mean fall as in autumn, not as in "of civilization."
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Rule of thumb is if a dude asks what you want to eat, then gets himself food and walks off you get to shoot him in the back. Cold blood. It's a little something called justice.
October 6, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Rule of thumb is if a dude asks what you want to eat, then gets himself food and walks off you get to shoot him in the back. Cold blood. It's a little something called justice.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
The only reason stores put xmas shit out this early is to distract you from the Epstein Files.
October 6, 2025 at 3:14 PM
The only reason stores put xmas shit out this early is to distract you from the Epstein Files.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
We take back our country for all our people, or we’re not taking back the country we need.
October 8, 2025 at 9:09 AM
We take back our country for all our people, or we’re not taking back the country we need.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
I guess if everything falls apart, I can always shitpost at Costco.
October 8, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I guess if everything falls apart, I can always shitpost at Costco.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
Everything I do, I do it for you*
*coping mechanism
*coping mechanism
October 7, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Everything I do, I do it for you*
*coping mechanism
*coping mechanism
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
why would you put yourself in that position, is a question i ask myself every time i have sex . folks,,
October 8, 2025 at 2:39 PM
why would you put yourself in that position, is a question i ask myself every time i have sex . folks,,
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta
batman: what
batman: what
October 7, 2025 at 6:16 PM
waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta
batman: what
batman: what
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
If I were involved in providing professional alteration services, I’m pretty sure I’d name my business to reflect my quick turnaround and cultural relevance and call it TAILOR: SWIFT.
October 8, 2025 at 6:21 PM
If I were involved in providing professional alteration services, I’m pretty sure I’d name my business to reflect my quick turnaround and cultural relevance and call it TAILOR: SWIFT.
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
"For my wellness journey" I murmur as I pour a 2lb bag of M&Ms over my face
October 8, 2025 at 7:29 PM
"For my wellness journey" I murmur as I pour a 2lb bag of M&Ms over my face
Reposted by Grant Tanaka
if you look in the mirror & say the words aioli sauce three times in a row a man riding a flux capacitor powered fixed gear bike will zoom by at 88 miles per hour & bonk you in the head with a hardcover copy of jonathan livingston seagull.
October 8, 2025 at 3:10 PM
if you look in the mirror & say the words aioli sauce three times in a row a man riding a flux capacitor powered fixed gear bike will zoom by at 88 miles per hour & bonk you in the head with a hardcover copy of jonathan livingston seagull.