Witchmas Greetings
@f0p.uk
Geordie exiled to the Flatlands. Old b3ta photoshopper of yore. Chief 8-bit wrangler at binarydinosaurs.co.uk.
Please don’t be offended if I don’t follow back when your profile is empty or your timeline is overtly political.
Please don’t be offended if I don’t follow back when your profile is empty or your timeline is overtly political.
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
To: All Staff
Subject: Erotic Animal Night
It was supposed to be Exotic Animal Night.
Subject: Erotic Animal Night
It was supposed to be Exotic Animal Night.
December 18, 2025 at 5:28 AM
To: All Staff
Subject: Erotic Animal Night
It was supposed to be Exotic Animal Night.
Subject: Erotic Animal Night
It was supposed to be Exotic Animal Night.
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
Instead of Elf On The Shelf, we are featuring Cthulhu In The Loo. Wash your hands, or face the unspeakable terror of the lord of the lightless abyss.
December 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Instead of Elf On The Shelf, we are featuring Cthulhu In The Loo. Wash your hands, or face the unspeakable terror of the lord of the lightless abyss.
I was thinking about this just last night.
December 14, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I was thinking about this just last night.
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
This is also a perfect opportunity to post a link to me talking about Gary Larson on the Rule of Three podcast. shows.acast.com/ruleofthree/...
December 12, 2025 at 6:50 PM
This is also a perfect opportunity to post a link to me talking about Gary Larson on the Rule of Three podcast. shows.acast.com/ruleofthree/...
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
CREEDENCE CLEAR-ROAD SURVIVAL 😆
December 8, 2025 at 2:47 PM
CREEDENCE CLEAR-ROAD SURVIVAL 😆
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
The on-hold music for Waitrose’s customer helpline is just a swan reading share prices to some brioche.
December 5, 2025 at 9:43 AM
The on-hold music for Waitrose’s customer helpline is just a swan reading share prices to some brioche.
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
My favourite ever Christmas card - and the pear that says MINGE still cracks me up…
dippyfishcards.etsy.com/listing/6575...
And there is a Radio edit version if you wanna NOT teach the kids to say BOLLOCKS in front of granny
#bsnm #christmas #bird #art. #ukgiftam #shopindie #craftbizparty
dippyfishcards.etsy.com/listing/6575...
And there is a Radio edit version if you wanna NOT teach the kids to say BOLLOCKS in front of granny
#bsnm #christmas #bird #art. #ukgiftam #shopindie #craftbizparty
November 30, 2025 at 9:34 AM
My favourite ever Christmas card - and the pear that says MINGE still cracks me up…
dippyfishcards.etsy.com/listing/6575...
And there is a Radio edit version if you wanna NOT teach the kids to say BOLLOCKS in front of granny
#bsnm #christmas #bird #art. #ukgiftam #shopindie #craftbizparty
dippyfishcards.etsy.com/listing/6575...
And there is a Radio edit version if you wanna NOT teach the kids to say BOLLOCKS in front of granny
#bsnm #christmas #bird #art. #ukgiftam #shopindie #craftbizparty
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
Punctuation matters…
December 1, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Punctuation matters…
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
I suggest that we start using the phrase "Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too." as shorthand to explain how little we want to be at any given terrible event.
November 29, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I suggest that we start using the phrase "Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too." as shorthand to explain how little we want to be at any given terrible event.
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
The REAL McCoy.
November 29, 2025 at 5:45 PM
The REAL McCoy.
I can see this happening. “Pleeeeeeease just use copilot. It cost us a lot of money and probably* won’t break anything!
(*AI results may be incorrect)”
(*AI results may be incorrect)”
Next Microsoft product meeting:
“What if, now hear me out, what if the copilot button moved about so it was always under your cursor?”
“What if, now hear me out, what if the copilot button moved about so it was always under your cursor?”
November 30, 2025 at 8:22 AM
I can see this happening. “Pleeeeeeease just use copilot. It cost us a lot of money and probably* won’t break anything!
(*AI results may be incorrect)”
(*AI results may be incorrect)”
Introduce yourself with 5 intergalactic exclamations:
Swut
Juju-flop
Turlingdrome
Belgium
Holy Zarquon singing fish
Swut
Juju-flop
Turlingdrome
Belgium
Holy Zarquon singing fish
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild
Dog
Cat
Different dog
Bird
Cow
Dog
Cat
Different dog
Bird
Cow
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild
Drop bear
Yeti
Unicorn
Jackalope
Black Shuck
Drop bear
Yeti
Unicorn
Jackalope
Black Shuck
November 29, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 intergalactic exclamations:
Swut
Juju-flop
Turlingdrome
Belgium
Holy Zarquon singing fish
Swut
Juju-flop
Turlingdrome
Belgium
Holy Zarquon singing fish
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
I keep explaining the difference between venom & poison to my boyfriend and he just isn't GETTING it. Venom is a type of poison delivered via a bite or sting, the difference has nothing to do with what it DOES to your body. He keeps yelling "take me to the hospital" god men just don't want to learn
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I keep explaining the difference between venom & poison to my boyfriend and he just isn't GETTING it. Venom is a type of poison delivered via a bite or sting, the difference has nothing to do with what it DOES to your body. He keeps yelling "take me to the hospital" god men just don't want to learn
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
My usual experiment to find out how bad LLMs are at technical instructions (wiring a UK plug) as applied to grok. It's just as bad as any other LLM out there:
November 26, 2025 at 9:12 AM
My usual experiment to find out how bad LLMs are at technical instructions (wiring a UK plug) as applied to grok. It's just as bad as any other LLM out there:
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
Right! Two new liquid instrumental drum and bass tracks by me out now, links to all the streamers and stores as they update here: tr.ee/UywQ8lC4j-
November 26, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Right! Two new liquid instrumental drum and bass tracks by me out now, links to all the streamers and stores as they update here: tr.ee/UywQ8lC4j-
Faked my way through Glastonbury
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
Iiiiiii’m a sensitive outsider
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
Iiiiiii’m a sensitive outsider
🎵 If you eat me now, you'll transubstantiate a part of me 🎵
November 23, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Faked my way through Glastonbury
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
Iiiiiii’m a sensitive outsider
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
Iiiiiii’m a sensitive outsider
@marina-purkiss.bsky.social @jemmaforte.bsky.social two train rides and long walks to/from Cambridge today with The Trawl in my ears and laughing like an idiot (to anyone watching) despite all the shite news. Absolutely splendid as ever 😁
November 16, 2025 at 12:36 AM
@marina-purkiss.bsky.social @jemmaforte.bsky.social two train rides and long walks to/from Cambridge today with The Trawl in my ears and laughing like an idiot (to anyone watching) despite all the shite news. Absolutely splendid as ever 😁
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Happy ‘exploding whale’ day to all who celebrate.
It’s 12 November, so it’s time to mark the 55th anniversary of the exploding whale of Oregon, an attempt to clear a cetacean carcass from a beach which prompted one reporter to say “The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds”
November 12, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Happy ‘exploding whale’ day to all who celebrate.
I must watch this later while I’m slipping a petri dish under a squirrel.
Good God, someone's just uploaded to YouTube a nearly 2-hour long video of one of the original Vic Reeves Big Night Out live shows at the Albany Empire from 1989. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKPU...
Vic Reeves Big Night Out - 30 April 1989
YouTube video by Peter Brooke Turner
www.youtube.com
November 11, 2025 at 8:00 AM
I must watch this later while I’m slipping a petri dish under a squirrel.
I have a hand held cooling device made from the small skeletal parts of hands and feet. I’ll show pictures of it and others like it on my new website - bonyfans.com
November 6, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I have a hand held cooling device made from the small skeletal parts of hands and feet. I’ll show pictures of it and others like it on my new website - bonyfans.com
Reposted by Witchmas Greetings
I have cartoonified an old tweet of mine.
November 3, 2025 at 10:02 AM
I have cartoonified an old tweet of mine.
Some days I just instamatically add old brand names to skeets.
November 3, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Some days I just instamatically add old brand names to skeets.