Stephen Collins
@stephencollins.bsky.social
Illustrator & cartoonist | Guardian & Prospect (full scripts in alt text) | graphic novels | children’s books | WFC | My stuff: https://linktr.ee/stephencollinsart
Pinned
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
I like the govt's plan to ban smartphones and social media in schools but nobody's mentioned the glaring hole in it
![Scene is a spoof TV news item. The NEWSREADER is talking to camera from behind the desk.
NEWSREADER:
Now, here to discuss the smartphone ban in schools…
We have with us, YouTube Shorts.
[Pull back to show an anthropomorphised version of the YOUTUBE SHORTS screen, sat in the interviewee's chair across from the newsreader]
NEWSREADER:
Good morning.
YOUTUBE SHORTS:
Hi
NEWSREADER:
You Tube Shorts, you work in education...
YOUTUBE SHORTS:
Yes.
I work in schools across the country teaching Epic Dance
Fail, Try Not To Cringe Challenge and Al Slop.
NEWSREADER:
And will the proposed phone ban limit your ability to do your job?
YOUTUBE SHORTS:
No.
I'll still be on all school laptops because YouTube is vaguely educational and Google have made me impossible to turn off.
NEWSREADER:
So children are being asked to do their homework on...
...the most advanced distraction machine ever created?
YOUTUBE SHORTS:
Well-
I think a more constructive way to frame that question might be:
Can IShowSpeed jump over a moving Lamborghini?
[The newsreader silently looks at the screen on YOUTUBE SHORTS's front, where a YouTuber jumps over a Lamborghini. This continues for an awkward beat]
NEWSREADER:
Woah.
NEWSREADER [returning to awareness]:
What were we talking about?
YOUTUBE SHORTS [pointing at the next Short which has appeared on its own front]:
Look at this fat dog.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifhe5mrap6dnhsxjb2j7cabwulco25mq4w5nhjcy7splwiea3qtsu@jpeg)
February 8, 2026 at 10:17 PM
I like the govt's plan to ban smartphones and social media in schools but nobody's mentioned the glaring hole in it
Another comic I never bothered posting
This one from 2023. Topical galileo humour apropos of precisely nothing at all
This one from 2023. Topical galileo humour apropos of precisely nothing at all
![1. [Title Panel]: Is Your 17th Century Astronomer Spending Too Much Time on His Telescope?
2. [Text -only panel] These days, more and more 17th Century Astronomers have access to telescopes. Here are some warning signs that they are on the slippery slope to Godless heliocentrism!
3. STAYING UP LATE WITH THEIR TELESCOPE
[GALILEO is looking through his telescope out the window at a starry sky].
GALILEO'S WIFE:
Go to bed, Galileo!
GALILEO: In a minute...
4. ‘FOMO’ (FEAR OF MISSING OBSERVATIONS)
GALILEO'S WIFE:
Dinner, Galileo!
GALILEO [Looking through telescope]:
Just need to check my orbits
5. WITHDRAWING FROM REAL-WORLD ACTIVITIES
[Galileo's friend the POPE is now standing next to Galileo, who is still looking through his telescope]
THE POPE: Come to church, Galileo!
GALILEO: Not now...
6. FALLING OUT WITH FRIENDS
GALILEO: [Showing The Pope the book he's working on) I'm just working on my book challenging the Bible's view of the Universe
7. BEING ARRESTED BY THE INQUISITION
[GALILEO is being dragged out of the room, hands outstretched to his telescope. He is calling to it]:
GALILEO: Telescooope
9. GETTING SENTENCED TO HOUSE ARREST UNTIL DEATH FOR HERESY
[GALILEO sitting in front of his telescope, now with bars over the windows]
GALILEO: Ah, crap.
10. CONTINUED TELESCOPE USE DESPITE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
[GALILEO in same position but now with long white beard, he is looking through his telescope through a barred jail window at the sky]
GALILEO'S WIFE:
Go to bed, Galileo!
GALILEO: In a minute...
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibook423m77cuwcpoahuocnd5dmylnlfi7jdhgaladuzytsynr7q4@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Another comic I never bothered posting
This one from 2023. Topical galileo humour apropos of precisely nothing at all
This one from 2023. Topical galileo humour apropos of precisely nothing at all
This took me fucking ages
![1
[Scene is a GREGGS interior. A lone MAN, the only customer in the shop, is standing at counter]
MAN:
Please can I have a sausage roll.
2
GREGGS SHOP ASSISTANT:
Certainly sir
[She pulls a leaver on the panini machine and WOOSH the man disappears through a trapdoor].
Whoosh
3
[The MAN appears through a chute in an underground bunker. A voice from off-scene greets him]:
Welcome, friend
4
[We see the voice is of a military-looking resistance COMMANDER with a moustache]
COMMANDER:
You said "please can I have" instead of “can I get”…
So now you're one of us.
5
MAN:
W-where am I ...?
[We see him looking at a hi tech UNDERGROUND MILITARY BUNKER - it has resistance vibes, and has lots of screens with maps etc]
6
COMMANDER:
You've joined the resistance…
...against people saying things all American.
7
COMMANDER:
We are an underground network of sleeper agents poised to have a right go at young people the moment they say "mom" or "bangs”.
8
LIEUTENANT [Staring at screen]:
Agent 244 has just given a Zoomer in Halifax the “could/couldn't care less" speech, sir
COMMANDER:
Very good
9
[Show the map of the UK with digital pop ups on it saying ‘GOTTEN’, ‘ZEE’, ‘MATH’ etc
COMMANDER:
You may have heard our name... We are...
10
COMMANDER:
...the Fight Against New Yankee Pronunciations and Americanisms Corrupting the King's English!
11
[Show the military command center panel. It says on the wall in big metal letters]:
F.A.N.Y.P.A.C.K.E.
12
MAN
You've called yourselves the 'Fanny Pack'
COMMANDER:
We didn't spot the acronym
[/end]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreianaxlutkih4rysx6l37rru2cic64wiirt4fd2jss5xlxsulixlou@jpeg)
February 2, 2026 at 10:25 PM
This took me fucking ages
Somewhere out there is one huge, hideous mockery of calcified humanity with a thousand arms holding a thousand devices constantly roaming the internet for any old footage of anything ever so it can post the phrase "And not a phone in sight"
January 30, 2026 at 10:20 AM
Somewhere out there is one huge, hideous mockery of calcified humanity with a thousand arms holding a thousand devices constantly roaming the internet for any old footage of anything ever so it can post the phrase "And not a phone in sight"
I think this one was from Sex Education S1 time? Or it may have been Normal People
![Scene: two teenage boys in school, in their uniforms, walking along corridor by the lockers.
BOY 1: Argh!
[We see what he is reacting to. They have seen their friend DANNY, who is a great big man with a thick neck, wrinkles, a strong jaw and nose. He is dressed in a school uniform much too small for him.]
DANNY: Hi lads.
BOY 2: Danny... What’s happened to you?
DANNY: Yeah it’s really weird…
DANNY: I thought I was 15, but I’m actually a character in a prestige TV drama who is inexplicably being played by an adult actor?
DANNY: I think this is like, a flashback scene which explains my future story as a troubled genius.
BOY 1: But your neck is all thick
BOY 2: You’ve got actual wrinkles
BOY 1: You look like a massive boy
DANNY: Stop it lads!
DANNY: You are saying mean things to me that will fuel my inner conflict and drive my narrative forward!
BOY 1: Is that a grey hair?
DANNY [running away]: SOB!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiclcwbkwdg4oopcb4ims56m76kaqtjidy4tmitwedez5bkjdjafmi@jpeg)
January 28, 2026 at 1:40 PM
I think this one was from Sex Education S1 time? Or it may have been Normal People
I'm a 45yo English man. Am I ok to begin using the phrase, "this/that slaps". I often think internally but am afraid to say it out loud for fear of ridicule.
January 28, 2026 at 11:56 AM
I'm a 45yo English man. Am I ok to begin using the phrase, "this/that slaps". I often think internally but am afraid to say it out loud for fear of ridicule.
My favourite Mark Rothko is 'POV Claudia Winkleman visits Antarctica (1969)' www.artsy.net/artwork/mark...
Mark Rothko | Untitled (Black on Gray) (1969) | Artsy
From Anderson Collection at Stanford University, Mark Rothko, Untitled (Black on Gray) (1969), Acrylic on canvas, 93 × 76 1/8 in
www.artsy.net
January 27, 2026 at 5:29 PM
My favourite Mark Rothko is 'POV Claudia Winkleman visits Antarctica (1969)' www.artsy.net/artwork/mark...
Last week's comic. I'm new to The Traitors and predictably loved every minute of it
![1
CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN [entering the breakfast room]:
Good morning everyone
2
CW:
Today’s mission is the hardest one yet:
3
CW:
Having absolutely *no chill whatsoever*.
4
[Various of the Contestants doing their best ‘disproportionate reaction’ faces]:
Oh my god
Oh my god
Oh my god
5
JADE:
*HAUNTED SIDEYE*
6
AMANDA [shaking head, saying out loud]:
Inappropriately solemn reaction shot
7
[In the car en route to the Mission, spotting a few props set up in the woods];
JESSIE:
OH MI GOOOOD
8
JESSIE:
What is THAAAAT
[unseen contestant responding off-frame]:
It’s some props in a wood
9
ROXY [in the middle of doing a silly task in the sunny countryside]:
WE’VE GOT TO DO AN ESSENTIALLY UNDEMANDING TASK IN THE PLEASANT COUNTRYSIIIDE
10
REECE [crying, being comforted by solemn contestants]:
I’m just feeling sad about the silly parlour game
11
MATTHEW [stern face, hand up in the roundtable like he’s a lawyer striking the killer blow]:
Can I just get some clarification on what you meant by… ‘Good morning’?
12
RACHEL [in the staring-murderously-to-camera bit]
I can’t believe he said “Good morning”
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreig2bucdnlleqoosoxvjx6sgmnrrwrbgaimrjm4wenvdnokeqpedbm@jpeg)
January 26, 2026 at 9:43 AM
Last week's comic. I'm new to The Traitors and predictably loved every minute of it
A recent family portrait commissioned by a family who are really into wildlife photography, often visiting Yellowstone. They sent me a bunch of their beautiful photographs from the reserve and I incorporated the animals in those photos into the piece.
January 25, 2026 at 3:12 PM
A recent family portrait commissioned by a family who are really into wildlife photography, often visiting Yellowstone. They sent me a bunch of their beautiful photographs from the reserve and I incorporated the animals in those photos into the piece.
Off and on it
![[Scene is heaven, in clouds. JESUS, acting as God’s PA, is briefing God, a big ball of light with arms sat at an executive desk, with a computer on it].
Jesus [holding a tablet computer]:
OK, so -
The next one to check in on is…
‘Earth’.
God: Spelling?
Jesus: E-A-R-T-H.
[God types into the computer]
tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap.
God: F—ing hell.
What’s happened here!?
We need to complain - get me the manager.
Jesus: Uh, well, the most powerful one is…
[Jesus turns his iPad round to show God. We can’t see the screen]
God: What is that.
I mean, it’s been a while but that’s definitely not how I designed them. Are you sure we’ve got the right planet?
Jesus: Yes, this is the… top human.
God: Off and on it again
Jesus: I’ll book the meteor
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiblqrz666ald2ptzqnno6lgs5tpfqqus3mqyvwop4hitu67n3r4ma@jpeg)
January 23, 2026 at 12:14 AM
Off and on it
![1
[A spoof advert for a life management app. It opens with a glossy, sorted-looking person smugly addressing us]
Hey there.
2
Feeling the January panic already?
3
[Title panel]
Then sign up for Stressifyly today.
4
[Show the app on a phone]
Stressifyly
(We couldn't decide between ‘Stressly' and ‘Stressify')
5
Stressifyly is the cute stress-management app that has given up pretending it's all ok.
[the rest of the advert depicts on-screen app tools a la Headspace / Liven / Grammarly etc]
6
Complete your daily freak-out rings
'You've nearly been anxious all day!'
7
Get daily reminders to your devices
[A woman jogging, her watch saying to her: "Hey! You should’ve met the right guy by now."]
8
Use innovative visualisation tools
[Show a visualisation of a mountain of work: ‘your work mountain / you’ next to a tiny person]
9
Delve into our ambient sound library
[Listening to a recording called ‘The background hum of global decline’ illustrated with an image of trump, putin, a robot, flames etc]
10
Chat to our AI Berater Buddy to start manifesting failure
[AI person on phone]:
You’re gonna cock this up
[Person holding phone, eyes closed]
I’m gonna cock this up
11
Do some journaling thing as if that will somehow help
[person typing a journal entry on phone: "Today I had too many difficult things to do"
12
And generally pay us to tell you that adult life will go away if you just fiddle around with your phone some more
12
[Advert ending image]:
Stressifyly:
Stay underwater.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibpkdjyy7n42ektwrasgu6fjhqo6tuwhh3jfctdmowmmjbzv5rr4u@jpeg)
From November 2020, when murder hornets were killing the bees in the US
![1 [Title panel] BEE TALK [News-type magazine show, with bees]
2 ANCHOR BEE: Tonight: America Divided
3 Will bees and murder hornets ever find a path to reconciliation?
4 Cheryl?
CHERYL BEE: Well, on the one hand this is partly caused by social media...
5 Algorithms are making us *hyper-aware* of insects who have different values to us, and this is having a polarising effect.
ANCHOR BEE: Mmm.
6 Also the murder hornets want to chew off my head and eat my kids.
7 ANCHOR BEE: Jason?
8 JASON MURDER HORNET: You see, this is what debate has *become* in this country.
9 Bees pretend to be all fuzzy and nice, but they simply *won’t accept* different worldviews!
10 I mean, ultimately we're all the same, right?
You want to buzz around, gather pollen and make honey...
11 I want to chop off your head and legs, gather your thorax and nibble your kids.
12 CHERYL BEE: [GETTING UP]: I’m leaving
JASON MURDER HORNET: Oh she’s *triggered*
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibukfsyoqusz2x7szzs34baovn5m2f5r6qdxqrengf3jdun4htfem@jpeg)
January 19, 2026 at 10:10 AM
From November 2020, when murder hornets were killing the bees in the US
Reposted by Stephen Collins
"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."
January 16, 2026 at 10:29 AM
"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."
Peter Of The Lake, a comic from 2013, when I was keen to establish with the Guardian that in order for my weekly comic to work, it would have to be about whatever random shit popped into my head that week
![Title panel:
PETER OF THE LAKE
The scene is a small lake in woodland. A fisherman is standing alone, fishing in the lake. From beneath him he is shocked to hear a voice say HALLO.
He looks down, starled. Emerging from the water is thr face of a gigantic sort of frog person named Peter.
PETER:
I AM PETER I WAS ADOPTED BY FROGS AS A CHILD SO I GREW UP ALL WEIRD
FISHERMAN:
Oh… uh… right…
PETER:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY SIMPLE SONG OF JOY?
FISHERMAN:
Um… yes?
PETER:
SMASHING
[Peter the giant frog person, still submereged in the lake, closes his eyes and gently sings:
Doo-de-doo-de-doo-de-doo... doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo-doo…
[There follows a series of connecting text panels, interspersed with images of album reviews on the front of magazines and newspapers]:
AND SO:
SONG OF NATURE:
WONDERFUL DEBUT ALBUM BY FROG PERSON
[Five stars]
BUT THEN:
RIBBITING ON:
SECOND RECORD IS MORE OF THE SAME
[Three stars]
AND SADLY:
DOO-DE-DOO-DE-DON'T
PETER'S THIRD EFFORT IS THE SAME OLD CROAK
[One star]
THUS:
[Final panel shows Peter, now a rich recording artist, reading this last review on a private jet, having a tantrum and kicking over his champagne while shouting:
BASTAAAARDS
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifydbprj2a7baayvxj3fd2r7pexwgdsh7vehxznua4fpwe6kutd6m@jpeg)
January 16, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Peter Of The Lake, a comic from 2013, when I was keen to establish with the Guardian that in order for my weekly comic to work, it would have to be about whatever random shit popped into my head that week
I have met so many Dans, and female Dans, and they always blow my mind
![[Scene is a SCIENCE RESEARCH FACILITY where two white coated scientists are standing at a desk of instruments and controls in front of a one way mirroe, looking at a mocked-up drinks party scene in the next room. In that room is a man named Dan and a woman, holding glasses of wine and apparently having a conversation. Dan, however, has a hi tech helmet strapped to his head, with wires extruding from it and leading to the instruments next door. Dan when we see him close up has a slightly dull expression and is droning on, while the lady listens, smiling politely].
[Scientists looking through the glass]
SCIENTIST 1:
And is this one of your patients?
SCIENTIST 2:
Yes
SCIENTIST 1:
This is Dan.
Dan was born completely incapable of asking people about themselves at parties.
DAN [close up, droning on while the woman listens]:
...So yeah 1 like implement creative solutions... and I work with clients to design a... and I'm writing a novel about like this guy...
SCIENTIST 1 [Looking at a screen showing Dan's brain with a hole in the middle]:
As you can see, despite talking about himself for the past two hours, the part of the brain which gives a toss about other people's lives shows no activity at all.
SCIENTIST 1 [bending over a microphone on the desk and pressing the intercom button]:
Dan...
Ask the lady... what her job is.
[Dan pauses.]
[Dan continues to pause]
DAN:
What's your job.
LADY [smiling humbly]:
Oh, I'm a murderer?
Well, contract killer, you know, haha...
[Show dan, silent]
[Show lady, smiling, waiting for a response]
[Show dan, still silent]
[Show Dan, slowly opening his mouth to speak
DAN:
And-
[But Dan falls silent again]
[Show Lady looking slightly desperate now, silently willing him to continue]
[Still nothing from Dan. But then...]
DAN:
...And yeah part of my job is I coordinate media content to across platforms to create -
SCIENTIST 1:
Fascinating
SCIENTIST 2:
Isn't it
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifme2zqevh4ylssa6ig2rwsiexw66rgxgc7d3sixfo6vz4oaxh34e@jpeg)
January 15, 2026 at 9:47 AM
I have met so many Dans, and female Dans, and they always blow my mind
The Highway Code rule 112b: LED headlights
![[Cartoon strip pastiche of the Highway Code, with illustrations describing the text]
[Title panel]:
The Highway Code
Rule number 112b:
LED headlights
In recent years, many
new cars have been fitted with extra-bright LED headlights.
LED headlights increase safety by illuminating every detail of the road ahead
Including the face of the person driving a metal box towards you at a combined speed of 80mph
Whom you have just blinded with your LED headlights.
LED headlights must be fitted at eye-level on a great big murderous wall of car.
[Show a car crumpling into the front of a high-fronted SUV, bathed in light from the blinding headlamps]
They must be permanently on full beam, because you are insane.
And they should be bright enough to make other drivers think they are ascending into a blinding vortex of alien light
Like them old people in the classic Ron Howard film, Cocoon (1985).
[Show illustration of the final scene where the older people on the boat are being yoinked up into the blindingly-illuminated cloaca of the big spaceship]
So remember: you must use LED headlights
To prevent everyone from not crashing into you.
[Image shows this happening]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidg3mni5yt6nxmwoqrv66uzimyblbekeeffqwtclshd42bl2cr4qa@jpeg)
January 12, 2026 at 11:52 AM
The Highway Code rule 112b: LED headlights
Like if you want to know if someone is European it's just: 'what was the most horrifying bit in Hereditary?' 'Oh, when that kid tried to eat a turkey leg with a fork'. Yes you're European
January 11, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Like if you want to know if someone is European it's just: 'what was the most horrifying bit in Hereditary?' 'Oh, when that kid tried to eat a turkey leg with a fork'. Yes you're European
Been watching so many American tv shows where people are eating with forks only, knife laid on table, so I finally googled it and I have learned about the 'cut and switch method' and honestly right now I have never been more sure that the British are just Europeans who think they're Americans
January 11, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Been watching so many American tv shows where people are eating with forks only, knife laid on table, so I finally googled it and I have learned about the 'cut and switch method' and honestly right now I have never been more sure that the British are just Europeans who think they're Americans
File under the ever-growing subgenre of my work which I’m calling ‘Inanimate Object Has A Massive Go At A Person For No Reason’
![Comic strip script:
Scene is a SUPERMARKET, a MAN is walking past a display of CREME EGGS with his trolley.
1
MAN:
Tut
2
CREME EGG [talking to him from the shelf]:
Excuse me - did you just tut at us?
3
MAN:
W-what?
CREME EGG:
Tutting because you’ve seen ‘Easter eggs’ on January 11th, is it?
4
MAN:
What? Well, y-yes, I -
CREME EGG:
Listen, Tut boy
5
CREME EGG:
We are not Easter eggs. We are Creme Eggs.
6
CREME EGG:
We are the shock troops of seasonal capitalism. Eldritch simulacra of rebirth. Fondant mockery of life.
7
CREME EGG:
Not for us the grand safety of a cardboard box. Oh no.
They put us out here first, in our little foil uniforms, every January, to face the wrath of the nation.
8
CREME EGG:
And what you gonna do about it? Tut? Snark about us on social media?
9
CREME EGG:
Maybe you’ll write a little column in the Telegraph titled “It Is Sad That The Easter Eggs Are Out Already”.
10
CREME EGG:
You tut because you know that unlike you, we will return, every January…
…forever.
11
CREME EGG:
The eternal rebirth of mammon! The endless -
MAN:
Oh go on then
[He puts one of the Creme Eggs in his trolley]
12
CREME EGG:
HA HA YOU WORM](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreigf4nleeln6m3pznu3n33mmk4m2f7uwxg7qh6khg4e5l65yycrdjy@jpeg)
January 7, 2026 at 11:23 AM
File under the ever-growing subgenre of my work which I’m calling ‘Inanimate Object Has A Massive Go At A Person For No Reason’
Why the fucking actual fucking fuck are the stupid fuckers still fucking posting on the fucking thing
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Government demands Musk's X deals with 'appalling' Grok AI
Grok is being used to digitally remove women's clothing - something victims describe as
www.bbc.co.uk
January 6, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Why the fucking actual fucking fuck are the stupid fuckers still fucking posting on the fucking thing
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Whenever people talk about what the greatest TV show ever made is, I always wonder why they don't just say it's 'Around the World in 80 Days with Michael Palin' and engage discussion there. Because, you know, it just is
January 6, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Whenever people talk about what the greatest TV show ever made is, I always wonder why they don't just say it's 'Around the World in 80 Days with Michael Palin' and engage discussion there. Because, you know, it just is