Carl Maxim
@carlmaxim.bsky.social
I don't have time for a fourth dimension.
Pinned
"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Tried microdosing LSD and thought I could fly, but only very short distances.
February 1, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Tried microdosing LSD and thought I could fly, but only very short distances.
I see Lord Mandelson is celebrating Groundhog Day by becoming trapped in an infinite loop of scandals and resignations.
February 2, 2026 at 12:43 PM
I see Lord Mandelson is celebrating Groundhog Day by becoming trapped in an infinite loop of scandals and resignations.
Freudians, don't forget that today is Transference Deadline Day, your last chance to unconsciously project your deepest feelings, desires and fantasies onto another.
February 2, 2026 at 12:12 PM
Freudians, don't forget that today is Transference Deadline Day, your last chance to unconsciously project your deepest feelings, desires and fantasies onto another.
At this stage I'm just relieved it isn't another picture of him in his pants.
BREAKING on ft website:
Lord Peter Mandelson leaked a sensitive UK government document to Jeffrey Epstein while he was business secretary that proposed £20bn of asset sales and revealed Labour’s tax policy plans
www.ft.com/content/fdf7...
Lord Peter Mandelson leaked a sensitive UK government document to Jeffrey Epstein while he was business secretary that proposed £20bn of asset sales and revealed Labour’s tax policy plans
www.ft.com/content/fdf7...
Mandelson leaked sensitive UK government tax plans to Epstein
Former ambassador forwarded memo from special adviser to Gordon Brown to late sex offender in 2009
www.ft.com
February 2, 2026 at 11:52 AM
At this stage I'm just relieved it isn't another picture of him in his pants.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Mandelson should really take some time out to reflect, but sadly he's no longer capable of casting a reflection.
February 1, 2026 at 6:09 PM
Mandelson should really take some time out to reflect, but sadly he's no longer capable of casting a reflection.
Responded to a subliminal dating ad. I ended up seeing someone but only very briefly.
February 2, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Responded to a subliminal dating ad. I ended up seeing someone but only very briefly.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Adopted a rescue box from Schrödinger's Cats Home.
January 31, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Adopted a rescue box from Schrödinger's Cats Home.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Mandelson finds himself in a very difficult and painful position, so that osteopathy course may come in useful after all.
February 1, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Mandelson finds himself in a very difficult and painful position, so that osteopathy course may come in useful after all.
Coming soon to Channel 4, Politicians in their Pants. Join Jimmy Carr and a celebrity panel as they try to guess which politician is in their pants this week.
February 2, 2026 at 9:12 AM
Coming soon to Channel 4, Politicians in their Pants. Join Jimmy Carr and a celebrity panel as they try to guess which politician is in their pants this week.
There hasn't been a Mandelson scandal in almost fifteen minutes. I do hope everything is all right.
February 2, 2026 at 9:03 AM
There hasn't been a Mandelson scandal in almost fifteen minutes. I do hope everything is all right.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Hearing Mandelson may be stripped of his official title and will now become 'Peter, the former Prince of Darkness'.
February 1, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Hearing Mandelson may be stripped of his official title and will now become 'Peter, the former Prince of Darkness'.
Before asking Richard Roper to join the Board of Peace.
John Le Carre’s son says he would be ‘arrested’ if Trump watches The Night Manager
John Le Carre’s son says he would be ‘arrested’ if Trump watches The Night Manager
John Le Carre’s son says he would be ‘arrested’ if Trump watches The Night Manager
www.independent.co.uk
February 1, 2026 at 10:33 PM
Before asking Richard Roper to join the Board of Peace.
Hearing Mandelson may be stripped of his official title and will now become 'Peter, the former Prince of Darkness'.
February 1, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Hearing Mandelson may be stripped of his official title and will now become 'Peter, the former Prince of Darkness'.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
ME: whenever i make fried eggs the yolks break but when i make scrambled eggs they don’t
ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
February 1, 2026 at 6:59 PM
ME: whenever i make fried eggs the yolks break but when i make scrambled eggs they don’t
ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Went to a séance and made contact with the ghost of a cold-caller who warned me about an accident I would have that wasn't my fault.
October 31, 2023 at 6:03 PM
Went to a séance and made contact with the ghost of a cold-caller who warned me about an accident I would have that wasn't my fault.
If you speed read A Brief History of Time would you finish it before you began?
February 1, 2026 at 8:25 PM
If you speed read A Brief History of Time would you finish it before you began?
Still, at least Lord Mandelson is guaranteed a job on the Board of Peace.
February 1, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Still, at least Lord Mandelson is guaranteed a job on the Board of Peace.
Mandelson finds himself in a very difficult and painful position, so that osteopathy course may come in useful after all.
February 1, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Mandelson finds himself in a very difficult and painful position, so that osteopathy course may come in useful after all.
After consuming the mushrooms, Starmer experienced a profound feeling of transcendence and connected with a global consciousness centred on the power of love, but, due to poor polling, performed an immediate U-turn and vommed it all up again. www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/ea05242...
Starmer’s China delegation feasts on hallucinogenic mushrooms
PM’s entourage orders delicacy that can have mind-altering effect when not prepared properly
www.telegraph.co.uk
February 1, 2026 at 6:38 PM
After consuming the mushrooms, Starmer experienced a profound feeling of transcendence and connected with a global consciousness centred on the power of love, but, due to poor polling, performed an immediate U-turn and vommed it all up again. www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/ea05242...
Mandelson should really take some time out to reflect, but sadly he's no longer capable of casting a reflection.
February 1, 2026 at 6:09 PM
Mandelson should really take some time out to reflect, but sadly he's no longer capable of casting a reflection.
BREAKING: Mandelson comeback delayed yet again.
www.ft.com/content/91e8...
www.ft.com/content/91e8...
Mandelson told Epstein JPMorgan should ‘threaten’ UK government over banker tax
Then business secretary advised sex offender on how Jamie Dimon should lobby chancellor in 2009
www.ft.com
February 1, 2026 at 6:02 PM
BREAKING: Mandelson comeback delayed yet again.
www.ft.com/content/91e8...
www.ft.com/content/91e8...
Tried microdosing LSD and thought I could fly, but only very short distances.
February 1, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Tried microdosing LSD and thought I could fly, but only very short distances.
Reposted by Carl Maxim
We live in a blame culture, and it's all your fault.
December 11, 2025 at 12:53 PM
We live in a blame culture, and it's all your fault.
February 1, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Reposted by Carl Maxim
Someone just ran up to me in the street and tried to intimidate me with a hardback copy of Heidegger's Being and Time - I'm so sick and tired of these existential threats.
November 28, 2024 at 9:56 AM
Someone just ran up to me in the street and tried to intimidate me with a hardback copy of Heidegger's Being and Time - I'm so sick and tired of these existential threats.