Isabel Zaw-Tun
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izzyzaw.bsky.social
Isabel Zaw-Tun
@izzyzaw.bsky.social
Pigeon fancier (unofficial)
Pinned
My comedy album is HERE! I hope you listen to it and have a nice little laugh in your apartment or house or shack or wherever the MASH paper assigned you for life.

Album design by the very wonderful @bornmiserable.bsky.social!

Listen to it through whatever platform you want: lnk.to/GBP
I love my phone, it’s my soulmate, I can never be apart from it. It makes me so depressed I want to kill myself
November 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Timothee Chalamet. So hard to photograph, but incredible to see.
November 6, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
My father was killed by the monster mash you son of a bitch
March 25, 2024 at 11:21 PM
Hamlet, hear: whilst sleeping in my orchard, thy uncle stole with juice of cursèd hebona and in the porches of my ears did pour the leprous distilment. But! Within mine ears were mine Loop Earplugs. Thus, I dith not die! Hamlet, my son, useth code KINGOFDENMARK at checkout to secure a 10% discount,
November 6, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I swear Beyoncé doing country music was the biggest recession indicator the universe could have possibly given us. And yet we refused to listen
November 4, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
April 27, 2023 at 7:19 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Just hit rock bottom (referred to the underside of a boulder as its "rock bottom" in the company of esteemed geologists)
October 31, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Switching over my Halloween lawn decorations to Christmas lawn decorations (e.g. determining which skeletons look the smartest and dressing the top three like wise men)
November 1, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Getting pretty tired of Vin Diesel hopping into the passenger seat yelling "PUNCH IT" when I am just trying to eat my lunch alone in my car
December 17, 2024 at 3:45 PM
Women on the internet: Men are bad

Men on the internet: hey bitch, allow me to 1000% prove your point in the comments
November 3, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
[God creating puffer fish] take that hedgehog and throw it into the goddamn ocean
December 6, 2024 at 3:09 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Scam text: Your freaking uh.. the microwave just beeped. Retrieve your food here:
October 14, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
I was watching the cat hunt the shadows of birds on the wall and I was gently taunting her about Plato's cave but then she caught one of the shadows and devoured it so now what.
November 2, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Unlike Disneyland, the robotic children singing to you here are only after your souls, not your money
November 2, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
is it eat it, it’s eat it isn’t it
June 4, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Everyone wants to JOIN the revolution but nobody wants to START the revolution. It's the classic "everybody's hungry but nobody in the group is brave enough to pick a restaurant" scenario
November 3, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
I think the dislike button is a good idea as long as I also receive a monthly email with the name and address of everyone who disliked one of my posts
October 31, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
have respect for every human life. we are all made in gods image. big computers on top. buncha important balloons in the middle. stilts.
June 3, 2023 at 2:55 AM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Still on hold with Universe Tech Support about the All-Pervasive Badness.
October 6, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
Hitler: Why didn't they ask about my paintings?
October 29, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
*At a party*

STRANGER: Are you that guy who brags about weird shit?

ME: No I’m the guy who takes the longest baths in the city.
August 2, 2023 at 8:24 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented
October 29, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Reposted by Isabel Zaw-Tun
[slowly rising out of a nearby pumpkin] Put your hand to your chest. Feel your heartbeat? That's your ghost chipping away at its cell.
October 16, 2023 at 5:40 PM
What doesn’t kill you tenderizes you, making you more succulent and delicious. For next thing that comes to kill you
October 29, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I wish people would stop telling me “there’s gum in your hair,” that’s where I store my gum. The leave-in conditioner keeps it fresh. Mind your own business
October 29, 2025 at 8:50 PM