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ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX
@ceefaux.bsky.social
3.9K followers 3 following 590 posts
The TV listings you never did know that you didn't not need, in glorious teletext several times a day. GSOH. Non-smoker preferred. Ring top bell. Your home is at risk if you store dynamite in it.
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ceefaux.bsky.social
20.00 NEWS AT TENA Current affairs round-up for those with bladder weakness.
January 3, 2026 at 12:04 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Yes, weather permitting
hllns.bsky.social David Sullivan @hllns.bsky.social · 1d
15:00 tomorrow?
January 2, 2026 at 6:14 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
15.00 FILM: A KNEE Classic musical fun about a kind hearted millionaire who decides to adopt a precocious leg joint.
January 2, 2026 at 5:52 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
22.00 FILM: SNAKE ON A PLANE Samuel L Jackson stars as a man on a 9-hour flight with nothing more than the simple game on his Nokia 3310 to keep him occupied.
January 2, 2026 at 11:32 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
20.30 NEW YEAR'S DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS The carniverous plants put their plans for global domination on hold because WHEN IS BINS?
January 1, 2026 at 2:11 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
CEEFAUX was born with help from @johnrain.co.uk and his brilliant podcast is always an absolute treat, so we lent him one of the team (NOT KEITH) to put together another best of episode. We think you should follow him (on here that is, not in the street - that would be weird).
January 1, 2026 at 11:29 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Thanks for all the love this year, back in 2026 with new listings, hopefully funnier than these ones #notthe #hootenanny - and a reader's competition when we hit 4,000 followers - so please share our stuff and encourage more good people like yourselves to join in our nonsense. Take care x
NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH CEEFAUX 19.00 JOOLS HOLLAND'S HOOT AT NANNY Two hours of the jazz musician driving up and down outside his own home, sounding the horn, in an attempt to gain the attention of the woman he employs to look after his kids. Recorded in March. 21.00 JOOLS HOLLAND'S HOOTER'S NANNY Two hours of the jazz musician deciding which skimpily dressed fast-food waitress he should pick to look after his kids. Recorded in August. 23.00 JOOL HOLLAN'S HOOT AT NAN'S KNEE Two hours of the jazz musician pointing and laughing hysterically at the middle-leg joint of his mother's mother. Recorded in May.
December 31, 2025 at 6:38 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Sorry, we've been off for a few days due to poisonous After Eights. Back with a NYE special this evening, and then poisoned again for a bit probably.
December 31, 2025 at 1:24 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
muiqefij chierpmas
21.00 EVA BRAUN'S BOYS Sitcom which, despite the setup, is still less objectionable than Mrs Brown's Boys 22.00 WOULD I LIE TO YOU? Incredibly easy edition of the panel show as the only guest is the former Prince Andrew. 22.30 FILM: A MINECRAFT MOVIE This is a visual joke, the word AWFUL, is spelt out in big blocks, like what they make in Minecraft. It also then says Jack Black for no real reason. 00.05 BOXING DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS The carniverous plants are ill after eating too much Toffifee.
December 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Maury cistlmus
17.45 N E W S Latest updates on the cardinal points of the compass 18.00 TOTAL RECALL THE MIDWIDE The nurses must deal with a baby that grows out of a man's stomach and a woman able to dispense 50% more breast milk than usual. 19.300 BLANKETY BENOIT BLANC It seems to me that the 'blanks' of which you speak are truly the vital pieces of informaiton that if I may say, we must ascertain with the aid of minor celebrities to complete, and thus win prizes. 20.30 TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGE AND DUNE Terry annoys his wife by raising his prices to £3.99 at Christmas.
December 25, 2025 at 4:29 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Mery Chritsmas
12:00 FILM: GREGG WALLACE AND GROMIT IN THE WRONG, BY WHICH WE MEAN THEY ARE UNBUTTONED & FLAPPING AROUND HIS ANKLES, TROUSERS. Highly inappropriate claymation that no-one seemed to object to when it was being made. 13.00 STRICTLY COME DANSON The couples will perform routines based entirely on the career of the the barman out of Cheers. 15.00 THE KING'S SCREECH Royal chat about Saved by the Bell 15.15 FILM: A. I. No problem, here's a listing for the 2001 Spielberg film: "Robot child seeks love", Too short? I can make it longer if you want?
December 25, 2025 at 11:52 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Merry Christmas you lot!
09.30 THE GRUFF ALLO ALLO Edith suspects Rene has a new lover when she finds purple prickles all over the bd. 10.00 FILM: MURDER ON THE DAILY EXPRESS Agatha Christie murder mystery where, despite no evidence, the guitly part is either an asylum seeker, a disable person using the motability scheme, gay, or Meghan Markle. 11.300 CAROLS FROM KINGS This year, Vorderman, Thatcher, Smilie and Kirkwood all drop in at a home owned by TV presenter Ross and former Spurs footballer Ledley in a format that has been misunderstood by a new to role TV producer.
December 25, 2025 at 9:20 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
Thank you all for following our nonsense over the year, we really appreciate every single like, repost, comment, £50 note in a blank envelope etc. We’re just finishing up our VERY SPECIAL listings for tomorrow, look out for them at 9am, noon, and then whatever times we can remember #onthebaileys
December 24, 2025 at 8:57 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
17.00 FILM: FTSELOOSE A group of teenagers defy their stuff elders by organising wile nights of speculation on share price fluctuations and potential dividend payouts.
December 24, 2025 at 1:46 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
16.30 MYSTERIOUS CITIES OF OLD Animation. Esteban and friends finally reach the outskirts of Eastbourne.
December 23, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
jeffgrim.bsky.social
Spike’s a naughty boy
What shall we do with him, Ted?
Chuck him in the pool!
December 22, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
martin67.bsky.social
Both Spike and Peggy
Dressed as a pantomime horse
Ride an actual horse
December 22, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
reddite.bsky.social
Goodnight campers sang
Bunting flutters in the breeze
Benidorm awaits
December 22, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
scrap-iron.bsky.social
My nightmares hear a
banshee wail baby baby
But it is Paul Shane
December 22, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
dextercrisp.bsky.social
The axe fell, and so
They fucked off to do that show
"You Rang M'Lord". Why?
December 22, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
jsdocherty.bsky.social
Clive replaced Jeffrey
The tone of the show shifted
End came soon after
December 22, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Reposted by CEEFAUX
stevebasnett.bsky.social
six-seven trounced with
five-seven-five genius
and without rhyming
December 22, 2025 at 9:20 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
18.45 HI-DE-HAIKUS Behind sharp banter, Ted's loneliness echoes loud A clown with no cheer Peggy watches them dance Yellow coast full of glory Her dreams slip further Between dance sets, hush Barry jokes to hide the ache Yvonne smiles, then sighs Knobbly knees parade Spike narrate to empty seats Applause is long gone Xylophone taps soft, Gladys strikes notes to no-one Silence hums along
December 22, 2025 at 8:59 AM
ceefaux.bsky.social
"Nothing is more important than family, family-sized portions that is"
21.00 FILM: FASTING & FURIOUS Vin Diesel struggles to cope with hangry mood swins on the reduced calorie days of the 5:2 diet plan.
December 19, 2025 at 4:20 PM
ceefaux.bsky.social
20.00 TEN YEARS YOUNGER The makeover team have a tricky task on their hands as this week's subject is a nine-year old child.
December 19, 2025 at 9:52 AM